Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 16:27     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.


LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!


What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.


Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.


No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.


I find it odd that it has happened more than once and PP couldn't figure out a way to explain her situation. And, no, it is not a "classist" issue. We have a nanny, and I would never put her in a situation where I arranged a playdate with another child and her mother (or father). I think that our nanny would find it awkward, too.


You guys have got me. I've explained it very clearly "I have to work until 5pm, but if you'd like to bring Larla over for a playdate with my DD and Nanny at 3pm, that works for them."

Sorry to disappoint everyone who desperately wants to think I was talking in code about this. 3-4 times over 3 kids and about 7 years combined of preschool isn't a lot, I guess, but it's funny when it happens. I suspect there was a similar misalignment of expectations with PP I was responding to, but I have no idea why it takes actual experiential learning for some moms to understand as opposed to a clear explanation.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 16:20     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
When I was about 12, my mother forced me to take her friend's 6 year old son to a neighborhood pool party so the mothers could drink and relax.

First thing the kid did at the party was whip out his penis and pee in the kiddie pool. Then, he marched into the house, took a tomato out of the fridge, and came back to the pool area. He took one bite out of the tomato and threw it into the pool.

By then, the hostess had sufficiently recovered from shock to ask me to leave and take the brat with me. Mortified, I dragged him back home.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 16:10     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories


The time when DS's friend nearly tore down the upstairs bannister/stair rail trying to attach a rope to it and rappel down on the outside of our stairwell.

Yep. Fun times.



Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 16:08     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.


LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!


What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.


Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.


No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.


I find it odd that it has happened more than once and PP couldn't figure out a way to explain her situation. And, no, it is not a "classist" issue. We have a nanny, and I would never put her in a situation where I arranged a playdate with another child and her mother (or father). I think that our nanny would find it awkward, too.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:52     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
"Stay while the girls play"
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:51     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.


LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!


What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.


Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.


No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.


Not to pile on, but I'm mystified why, if you say "we would love to see Clara at 10 am to play with Stella, but just so you know I will be working in my office and our nanny Susan will be there to supervise the children and looks forward to getting to know you if you are going to stay while the girls stay."

Why is that not said, and how is that unclear
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:42     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Friend of DD was dropped off at our house for a sleepover and when the Mom was leaving said, "Emily has never had a sleepover where she's stayed the whole night." Sure enough, in the wee hours of the morning the girl is crying hysterically and wants to go home. I handed her the phone and told her to call her mother. Her mother would have to come pick her up. The child really didn't want it done that way. Said I should drive her home. That's what the other mothers did. Not to be bossed around by an 8 year old, I didn't. It wasn't the worst play date but the family should have mentioned the complication when I issued the invitation.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:10     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.


LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!


What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.


Now you know. Its pretty weird for "you" to host a playdate with preschool kids and then leave the mom stuck with making small talk with the nanny.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:02     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
When my child had just turned four, we had a dinner play date with another family, who we had just met. The two little girls were playing in my daughters' room when my daughter ran out and said "look what we did." They had taken down their pants and peed on her plush chair!

Actually not so awful. I laughed it off, cleaned the floor, threw out the chair, served dessert, and gave my daughter a talking to after they left. But, we never really heard from them again.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:57     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Hosted a play date with some friends new to the area, both the parents stayed. Their little boy was newly potty trained, I think he had only been in underwear a few days. Mom explained she had to take him to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Okay, no problem. But the kid was too young and had no idea how to hold it. He peed on my floor FIVE times in 90 minutes. Not in the bathroom like he missed the bowl, but all over the house. Twice I discovered it by stepping in a wet spot on our brand new carpet. The mom was nice , but she sort of brushed it off and changed her sons pants. I get that kids have accidents sometimes, but I couldn't believe they would come over and not have him in a pull up, or leave after the first accident. I've potty trained two kids and would never go to a friends house until they got the hang of it. I think they were desperate to make friends but we could have waited a week to have them over!
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:38     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.


LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!


What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.


Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.


No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:37     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
We've been quite lucky.

There was the mom who took her own DD and mine with her to the corner liquor store and kept joking about it over and over.

Then DD was sleeping at a friend's house and she got a headache and they gave her medicine for it without calling me. Just mentioned it the next morning when I picked her up. They are not from this country so maybe don't know, but I was pissed they didn't call to ask before giving someone else's child medicine. DD got a stern talking-to never to accept without first saying "Can I please call my mom to make sure it's okay first?" We're still friends with them - they're a lovely family.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:37     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.


Oh my god! Please transcribe for us how that conversation went when you called her to tell her!!
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:33     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.


I was working from home and pumping while my DD was at daycare. My neighbor saw my car in the driveway and started ringing the doorbell. I happened to be pumping in my kitchen and she was able to see my feet but not what I was doing. DH was also working from home. He let her in since he didn't know what I was doing. I really didn't know what to do as I sat at my kitchen table pumping. Luckily she had 2 kids so I'm sure it didn't phase her as much as it bothered me as a FTM.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:28     Subject: Tell me about your worst playdate stories
Anonymous wrote:**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.


That's pretty funny. Not sure what I would have done in the same situation!