Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:agree w/ PP, limit her access to TV and Netflix.

I remember going through a terrible time at age 12-13 once I got my period. It was so painful for me and made me want to curl up in bed and die.

Get her on Advil immediately. 3 pills when period starts, with 2 pills every 6 hours until period is over. This was life changing for me, and helped me get back to my old self.

I am an introvert too, and definitely became more of one after puberty, but the anxiety and depressed behavior went away after a year or so, after I adjusted to the new norm.

....advil ?

Her period doesn't last all month. It's probably only bad 2 or 3 days out of the month. She needs to get out and exercise.

I got a bleeding ulcer from taking advil (ibuprofen). It is definitely great for menstrual cramps, but 3 pills is way too many. Also she needs to take it with food. You should experiment and give the lowest dosage that works.

This was a good one . It should link you to 'Why are Teens So Moody'?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?action_object_map=%5B727775767323562%5D&action_type_map=%5B%22og.shares%22%5D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D&fb_action_types=og.shares&v=du8siPJ1ZKo&fb_action_ids=10208856389993145&fb_source=other_multiline



I for one have also had to drastically adjust my parenting for me teen.
She's the one that is similar to yours but is a bit older .
She can be totally crazy and completely unreasonable one minute and then happy and normal the next.
Sometimes she screams everything she wants to say - literally screams. Sometimes she says horrid things to me or her siblings (and always to her dad). Sometimes she comes down to dinner, sometimes not. Sometimes she's in her room all day long an unshowered grumpy disaster (funniest thing I did once was let one of her friends up there , oi). Some days she's out at her travel sport, chatting with me in the car on the way, interacting with the other girls and having fun. Screaming one minute, she's out volunteering the next minute. It's a wild ride.
Anyway I pick just a few battles. I let the screaming go. I ignore the verbal stuff directed to me but call her on treating her siblings badly.
She has chores and if she doesn't do them within a week I turn off all wifi and Netflix stuff but I've scaled the chores way back as she's very busy and stressed. I let a lot of things go and try to keep the communication lines open?
That's one thing that family therapy can do for you - help you navigate having a teen which is so much different than having a kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Severe anxiety and school refusal are reasons by themselves to get mental health counseling. And anxiety often leads to depression. We have BTDT, and I would not simply ignore and hope it gets better...or try to solve it just with exercise and new activities. Those help, but they are not treatment for clinical anxiety, which is likely to get worse if it goes untreated. Good luck, OP.

Disagree. I think you can increase anxiety by going straight to mental health counseling.

+1

She is communicating. She isn't shut off from the world. Work with her. She what she wants to do.

Withdrawing from activities she previously enjoyed; spending lots of time alone watching videos; school refusal; asking earnestly to be homeschooled; teachers actually taking the time out to reach out with concern that she is not acting like her usual self, are all signs that you should carefully rule out anxiety and depression with the help of a mental health professional. That does not necessarily involve prescribing meds. Therapy may be enough if that is what she requires. Just waiting for it to go away on its own though is not a wise strategy, because there are too many warning signs surfacing simultaneously. I understand that your spouse and many on this thread recommend not overreacting, but it sounds like this has been going on for a while now and it's enough of a departure from her normal personality to warrant your ruling out something more serious which could be negatively impacting her emotional well being. Good luck.

only one comment, I do think period cramps can be cause for some kids to stay home each month. A friend of mine in middle school missed 2-3 days every month. At the time I thought it was crazy and she was just spoiled. Now I think I can't know how her symptoms felt. Every girl is different, and maybe I was lucky I didn't have too much cramping (exercise does help with period pains too, though)

It is never "normal" for a child to request home schooling.

Anonymous wrote:Severe anxiety and school refusal are reasons by themselves to get mental health counseling. And anxiety often leads to depression. We have BTDT, and I would not simply ignore and hope it gets better...or try to solve it just with exercise and new activities. Those help, but they are not treatment for clinical anxiety, which is likely to get worse if it goes untreated. Good luck, OP.

This is our experience as well. I waited too long asking no myself the same question. (Is this normal moodiness/introversion.)