Anonymous wrote:It is better to stay home . If you are in DC the cost is absurd and the care is meh

At least for the first year. Babysit another child or help another working mom out. Many do this, she would be much happier I believe going by her post.

It is better to stay home . If you are in DC the cost is absurd and the care is meh

I put my kid in daycare when she was 16 months and it was hell due to his sick she was. 3 major illnesses in 5 weeks. I missed so much work and hated seeing her so miserable from being sick so I pulled her out and got a nanny

Anonymous wrote:I posted before about loving our daycare.

Thought I just had that I wanted to share - DH and I have been talking seriously since DD was born about leaving this area. It is so bloody expensive and we have no family here, blah blah blah. A job I'd love to have just came up in a city I'd love to live in...and whereas a year ago I'd jump at the chance to apply, now I don't think I will....because of daycare. It is that great for our kid. They completely love her. It can be like this.

Go and visit the new location - see if you like it as much as you think you will. You'll find good childcare there. It will be different, it might even be a different type of childcare (like a nanny if it's more remote and tehre aren't childcare centers) but you'll find something you like and your daughter will learn to trust and love them. So apply! If you get the position, you can decide then. If you don't get it, at least you tried and you are better prepared for your next interview and opportunity.

I posted before about loving our daycare.

Thought I just had that I wanted to share - DH and I have been talking seriously since DD was born about leaving this area. It is so bloody expensive and we have no family here, blah blah blah. A job I'd love to have just came up in a city I'd love to live in...and whereas a year ago I'd jump at the chance to apply, now I don't think I will....because of daycare. It is that great for our kid. They completely love her. It can be like this.

Anonymous wrote:
I would stay home the first year or two. Take in another child or two to off set finances.

Take in a couple of children in addition to your own baby, meaning provide the ratio you think is so harmful to babies?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a bad thing for your child to attach to daycare providers or other adults! They are not going to replace you, OP.

During the first years of life, babies and toddlers require care that is:

1. Stable
2. Competent
3. Loving

For most children, the parent is the best person who can provide all three components.

Like many stressed out nurses, daycare workers don't have the time to love your child, even if she wanted to. Other babies are crying to be fed, changed, and picked-up. Just observe in any one of these places for yourself. Invest a few hours of watching with your mouth closed and your eyes and ears open. See for yourself.

No, you are wrong. I directed a center wirh 3 infant rooms for many years and our teachers did love the children. Not the same as you do, of course, but they care deeply. They know each child as an individual, know their interests, fears, what they like the best, etc. And the babies make friends with the other babies, too. And when the babies moved up to the toddler rooms, they still loved their infant teachers. ...

Now, I think you should also investigate in home childcare, as you might be more comfortable with a smaller, mixed age environment.

couldn't agree more. i also hated my job when I went on maternity leave, but knew I wanted at least 4-5 months with my infant to assess childcare options. i lucked out getting into an awesome daycare and it was the best decision for my daughter and our family. i ended up quitting my job and working part-time from home to have more flexibility. that did help a lot the first winter when baby got sick -- yes, its frequent, but now a year later she is sick much less.

parents will always be #1 to their kids, but i value so much that my daughter has 8-9 teachers who love her, from her days in the infant room to the preschool teachers she'll transition to next month. i see the daycare as part of the care team for my kid -- they are my village, since I don't have family anywhere close by. plus, my daughter is such an extrovert, she runs us and any potential nanny to the ground. she's always done well being surrounded by older kids to set an example, as that's the way kids learn. the structure and play-based curricula works so well for her. she's thriving and comes home doing things that amaze me every day!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a bad thing for your child to attach to daycare providers or other adults! They are not going to replace you, OP.

True, but children do form a primary attachment and when you go back to work that's either a daycare worker or a nanny. It's okay, but it's true.

No. My children were both in daycare at about 3.5 months. No question at any time that their primary attachments were to me and my husband. Esp. early on when I was breastfeeding. This is one of those irrational fears new moms have that you look back on and wish you hadn't wasted energy on.

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently on maternity leave and had fully planned to return to work after.... only now, I'm not so sure. The thought of leaving our baby in daycare at 12 weeks old scares me. I don't want to miss all the milestones, have her attach to the daycare teachers, etc. However if I stayed home, things would be really tight financially. But I think we could make some large cutbacks for a bit. I know I'm not alone with these concerns... but can anyone share their experiences with putting a young baby in daycare to return to work? Did you regret it? Or, SAHM, what made you confidently decide to stay home?

I would stay home the first year or two. Take in another child or two to off set finances. If I had to or wanted to resume my job then I would find a home daycare to watch my infant or another SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a bad thing for your child to attach to daycare providers or other adults! They are not going to replace you, OP.

True, but children do form a primary attachment and when you go back to work that's either a daycare worker or a nanny. It's okay, but it's true.

Yeah, exactly. So like when your DH leaves you for another woman and you are forced to work 70 hours a week to support yourself, at a low wage job because you dropped out of the workforce, your child will totally form a primary bond with Daddy's new wife. It's okay, but it's true.

This was funny. Most of the divorced men we know are struggling because they have to pay so much support. Often the kids can't stand the new gf and vice versa. Most of the women I know got remarried, some had more children. Your narrative was entertaining, thank you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can a 1:3 ratio be a good thing for a baby?

Or even 1:2? Of course if you have twins, you do what you have to do. But at least they're used to each other from the get go.

How do you think SAHMs of two, three or four children do it? Here's your 1:4 ratio right there. Should all SAHMs stop at one child? Since you know, the 1:2 ratio cannot be a good thing for a baby?

Mixed ages are a good thing. Daycares, however, aren't typically set up like that.

Well...don't have twins or triplets, then!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can a 1:3 ratio be a good thing for a baby?

Or even 1:2? Of course if you have twins, you do what you have to do. But at least they're used to each other from the get go.

How do you think SAHMs of two, three or four children do it? Here's your 1:4 ratio right there. Should all SAHMs stop at one child? Since you know, the 1:2 ratio cannot be a good thing for a baby?

This. Some of you beeyotches are truly crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can a 1:3 ratio be a good thing for a baby?

Or even 1:2? Of course if you have twins, you do what you have to do. But at least they're used to each other from the get go.

How do you think SAHMs of two, three or four children do it? Here's your 1:4 ratio right there. Should all SAHMs stop at one child? Since you know, the 1:2 ratio cannot be a good thing for a baby?

Mixed ages are a good thing. Daycares, however, aren't typically set up like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not a bad thing for your child to attach to daycare providers or other adults! They are not going to replace you, OP.

During the first years of life, babies and toddlers require care that is:

1. Stable
2. Competent
3. Loving

For most children, the parent is the best person who can provide all three components.

Like many stressed out nurses, daycare workers don't have the time to love your child, even if she wanted to. Other babies are crying to be fed, changed, and picked-up. Just observe in any one of these places for yourself. Invest a few hours of watching with your mouth closed and your eyes and ears open. See for yourself.

No, you are wrong. I directed a center wirh 3 infant rooms for many years and our teachers did love the children. Not the same as you do, of course, but they care deeply. They know each child as an individual, know their interests, fears, what they like the best, etc. And the babies make friends with the other babies, too. And when the babies moved up to the toddler rooms, they still loved their infant teachers. ...

Now, I think you should also investigate in home childcare, as you might be more comfortable with a smaller, mixed age environment.

Anonymous wrote:How can a 1:3 ratio be a good thing for a baby?

Or even 1:2? Of course if you have twins, you do what you have to do. But at least they're used to each other from the get go.

How do you think SAHMs of two, three or four children do it? Here's your 1:4 ratio right there. Should all SAHMs stop at one child? Since you know, the 1:2 ratio cannot be a good thing for a baby?