Anonymous
02/10/2016 14:22
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Last year at DS's party, there was only one kid who was invited who I didn't know the family well (he was relatively new to the school)
Except for one or two close friends of mine whose kids were invited, everyone else dropped off.
Except for the new kid. Which is understandable since the mom didn't know me well. No big deal.
BUT... she also brought along the 9 year old sister. Without asking first. And the 9 year old sister had peanut allergies. So mom got all huffy because there wasn't anything there for her daughter to eat.
I was livid.
Except for one or two close friends of mine whose kids were invited, everyone else dropped off.
Except for the new kid. Which is understandable since the mom didn't know me well. No big deal.
BUT... she also brought along the 9 year old sister. Without asking first. And the 9 year old sister had peanut allergies. So mom got all huffy because there wasn't anything there for her daughter to eat.
I was livid.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 14:17
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is a drop off party, you simply email those parents and say, "due to a head count limit, we aren't able to accommodate siblings. So sorry!"
The end.
I did this last year when one particular family always rsvp'd for both their kids - one of whom didn't even go to our school - they said they understood and didn't bring himl -
I've seen the mom take the younger child to all the older kids' invites. I guess not everyone else just says no.
I think it may be a cultural thing. We live in an area with many immigrants. I have seen the immigrant families bring the whole family. I think they may not know any better - families from India, Thailand, Brazil, Egypt, Ethiopia and some Arabic families.
I am Asian-American. My mom used to make me take my younger brother to my birthday parties when I was a little kid. I used to just think how annoying my little brother was. 30 years later, I realize how rude my mom must have been. I think she just had no idea.
I would never bring an uninvited sibling to a birthday party.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 14:12
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is a drop off party, you simply email those parents and say, "due to a head count limit, we aren't able to accommodate siblings. So sorry!"
The end.
I did this last year when one particular family always rsvp'd for both their kids - one of whom didn't even go to our school - they said they understood and didn't bring himl -
I've seen the mom take the younger child to all the older kids' invites. I guess not everyone else just says no.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:54
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.
I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.
What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?
In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.
Just try to be understanding. For single parents, or those whose spouse can't watch the other kid, it's very nice when parents allow siblings. Parents should be reasonable and expect that some will ask about siblings. If you can acommodate, it's wonderful.
I totally agree. DH often travels for work and I often have to find a babysitter to watch the sibling that is not invited. If I can't find a babysitter, I usually tell the child that's invited to the party that she can't go which is usually very disappointing.
OP said siblings would cost an extra $30 each. That's not wonderful.
I can't believe it has taken you three years to figure this out. You need to be explicit in the invitation. For this year, you have to eat it. Again.
OP here. DH is fine with paying $30 for the siblings. I just have the headcount problem now. Hopefully I get some more no's and everything will work out.
Last year I had a different issue. I booked a party at a place for 16 kids. Because of siblings, we got bumped to the next level of 24 kids. I guess they need to add an extra person so we had to pay an extra $150 or whatever it was for the 17th person.
The year before, I invited ~20 kids to a bounce house party. Ended up having 16 RSVPs so I opened 2 packages of favor bags. Party day comes and one family brings 3 siblings they did not RSVP for. 3 siblings took favors and I did not have enough for all the kids.
Next year, I am going to clearly write, "no siblings" on the invitation so there is no confusion. The recurring theme seems to be that I have unnecessary stress every year because of uninvited siblings.
OP here. Over the years, I have been that person to ask about the sibling. I have tried going to a public place and pay for my other child separately to be forced by host to join when I really didn't want my other child to join. I have tried to pay the host for sibling. I have declined stating that I have both kids followed by host inviting both kids. I have been scolded for not bringing sibling. I have felt bad when only one child is invited when both kids play often with other child.
It has taken me a while to learn. I am so glad that my older child is now drop off age. If younger DS has a party, it is so easy to arrange a play date with a friend for older DS. If older DS has a party, I can drop him off.
I do appreciate when both kids are invited. I no longer ask to bring the sibling. Family either knows us and invites both or only one child is invited. I do give very generous gifts when both kids are invited. My friends were just teasing me how I always bring the biggest gift to every party. I said that it is because it is from 2 kids. I give normal gifts when only 1 child goes.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:42
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.
I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.
What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?
In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.
Just try to be understanding. For single parents, or those whose spouse can't watch the other kid, it's very nice when parents allow siblings. Parents should be reasonable and expect that some will ask about siblings. If you can acommodate, it's wonderful.
I totally agree. DH often travels for work and I often have to find a babysitter to watch the sibling that is not invited. If I can't find a babysitter, I usually tell the child that's invited to the party that she can't go which is usually very disappointing.
OP said siblings would cost an extra $30 each. That's not wonderful.
I can't believe it has taken you three years to figure this out. You need to be explicit in the invitation. For this year, you have to eat it. Again.
OP here. DH is fine with paying $30 for the siblings. I just have the headcount problem now. Hopefully I get some more no's and everything will work out.
Last year I had a different issue. I booked a party at a place for 16 kids. Because of siblings, we got bumped to the next level of 24 kids. I guess they need to add an extra person so we had to pay an extra $150 or whatever it was for the 17th person.
The year before, I invited ~20 kids to a bounce house party. Ended up having 16 RSVPs so I opened 2 packages of favor bags. Party day comes and one family brings 3 siblings they did not RSVP for. 3 siblings took favors and I did not have enough for all the kids.
Next year, I am going to clearly write, "no siblings" on the invitation so there is no confusion. The recurring theme seems to be that I have unnecessary stress every year because of uninvited siblings.
This year was the first year I did an evite. This is the first year I am doing a drop off optional party. In past years, parties were not drop off.
I was feeling bad but I am not going to feel bad if I have to email the families who RSVPd with siblings. They can drop off their 7 year old child. I will just say that I hit my max headcount and cannot accommodate siblings. It will be the truth.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:37
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.
I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.
What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?
In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.
Just try to be understanding. For single parents, or those whose spouse can't watch the other kid, it's very nice when parents allow siblings. Parents should be reasonable and expect that some will ask about siblings. If you can acommodate, it's wonderful.
I totally agree. DH often travels for work and I often have to find a babysitter to watch the sibling that is not invited. If I can't find a babysitter, I usually tell the child that's invited to the party that she can't go which is usually very disappointing.
OP said siblings would cost an extra $30 each. That's not wonderful.
I can't believe it has taken you three years to figure this out. You need to be explicit in the invitation. For this year, you have to eat it. Again.
OP here. DH is fine with paying $30 for the siblings. I just have the headcount problem now. Hopefully I get some more no's and everything will work out.
Last year I had a different issue. I booked a party at a place for 16 kids. Because of siblings, we got bumped to the next level of 24 kids. I guess they need to add an extra person so we had to pay an extra $150 or whatever it was for the 17th person.
The year before, I invited ~20 kids to a bounce house party. Ended up having 16 RSVPs so I opened 2 packages of favor bags. Party day comes and one family brings 3 siblings they did not RSVP for. 3 siblings took favors and I did not have enough for all the kids.
Next year, I am going to clearly write, "no siblings" on the invitation so there is no confusion. The recurring theme seems to be that I have unnecessary stress every year because of uninvited siblings.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:34
Subject: Re:Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Yikes, any parents with kids older than 5 should know this is not acceptable. My kids have parties every single year and if a person needs to bring a sibling they have ALWAYS asked in a private email. It is never more than 1 or 2 per party, so I always add 5 to the budget JIC. How rude these people are!
I'm the PP, the rude ones are not the people that emailed me privately, I meant the people who added siblings to the evite without asking your first.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:33
Subject: Re:Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Yikes, any parents with kids older than 5 should know this is not acceptable. My kids have parties every single year and if a person needs to bring a sibling they have ALWAYS asked in a private email. It is never more than 1 or 2 per party, so I always add 5 to the budget JIC. How rude these people are!
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:25
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.
I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.
What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?
In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.
Just try to be understanding. For single parents, or those whose spouse can't watch the other kid, it's very nice when parents allow siblings. Parents should be reasonable and expect that some will ask about siblings. If you can acommodate, it's wonderful.
I totally agree. DH often travels for work and I often have to find a babysitter to watch the sibling that is not invited. If I can't find a babysitter, I usually tell the child that's invited to the party that she can't go which is usually very disappointing.
OP said siblings would cost an extra $30 each. That's not wonderful.
OP here. DH is fine with paying $30 for the siblings. I just have the headcount problem now. Hopefully I get some more no's and everything will work out.
Last year I had a different issue. I booked a party at a place for 16 kids. Because of siblings, we got bumped to the next level of 24 kids. I guess they need to add an extra person so we had to pay an extra $150 or whatever it was for the 17th person.
The year before, I invited ~20 kids to a bounce house party. Ended up having 16 RSVPs so I opened 2 packages of favor bags. Party day comes and one family brings 3 siblings they did not RSVP for. 3 siblings took favors and I did not have enough for all the kids.
Next year, I am going to clearly write, "no siblings" on the invitation so there is no confusion. The recurring theme seems to be that I have unnecessary stress every year because of uninvited siblings.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 13:13
Subject: Re:Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:I dono't think it's a good idea to wait and see. I think you need to make a statement across the board. It's totally understandable to say no siblings. But to say "well, some siblings are OK, but your kid isn't" is pretty rude.
OP here. I got 2 no's. Up to 19 kids and waiting on 7 kids to RSVP. I may be pretty close to my 24 max and won't need to say anything to anyone.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 12:43
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Assuming this is a drop off party, you simply email those parents and say, "due to a head count limit, we aren't able to accommodate siblings. So sorry!"
The end.
THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Anonymous
02/10/2016 11:49
Subject: Re:Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
I dono't think it's a good idea to wait and see. I think you need to make a statement across the board. It's totally understandable to say no siblings. But to say "well, some siblings are OK, but your kid isn't" is pretty rude.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 07:06
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
I agree that mixing family friends - where you are used to the whole family being invited - and school friends is what made this confusing. When I host my kids parties I always send a separate invitation to school friends and family friends. The school invitations go to "Sam" while the family friend invitation goes to the entire family. I wouldn't invite just one child from a family we socialize with regularly.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 03:03
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.
I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.
What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?
In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.
Just try to be understanding. For single parents, or those whose spouse can't watch the other kid, it's very nice when parents allow siblings. Parents should be reasonable and expect that some will ask about siblings. If you can acommodate, it's wonderful.
I totally agree. DH often travels for work and I often have to find a babysitter to watch the sibling that is not invited. If I can't find a babysitter, I usually tell the child that's invited to the party that she can't go which is usually very disappointing.
OP said siblings would cost an extra $30 each. That's not wonderful.
Anonymous
02/10/2016 02:48
Subject: Parents RSVPing with multiple siblings
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sent out my first evite to a mix of classmates, neighbors and family friends. I made sure children's names were listed. Family friends RSVPd with entire family - 2 adults 2 kids. Now multiple classmates are RSVPing with 2-3 kids.
I am going to go over my headcount of 20. I can probably pay $30 per sibling for a few but I prefer not. This ia drop off optional. These parents are bringing older kids and younger kids.
What can I do? Just take it as a learning lesson?
In the past, I did paper invitations and parents would ask about siblings.
Just try to be understanding. For single parents, or those whose spouse can't watch the other kid, it's very nice when parents allow siblings. Parents should be reasonable and expect that some will ask about siblings. If you can acommodate, it's wonderful.
I totally agree. DH often travels for work and I often have to find a babysitter to watch the sibling that is not invited. If I can't find a babysitter, I usually tell the child that's invited to the party that she can't go which is usually very disappointing.
Whatever. Not the host's problem.