Anonymous wrote:Wow what a nice setup for your husband! Curious how much experience does he have raising children? Does he understand taking care of a newborn is hard work and may be just as difficult as working? Do you realize you're going to have an emotional bond with the child that he will not making it harder for you to leave the child with him?

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Anonymous wrote:6-7 is the absolute minimum I'd be comfortable with.

Same here and that's well below what we currently have left after mortgage and childcare.

Same question as previously -- where do you see all of that money going?

We eat good quality food, my kids play year round sports, one travel team each, we take 2 nice vacations a year, my kids go to great summer camps, including a computer programming one at georgetown for $1000/wk, we save for college to afford them the best opportunity possible, we put aside 32k/yr in 401k, plus we have healthy savings.

Sure we COULD live on way less, but I wouldn't willingly choose to sacrifice retirement ,college savings, rich experiences for my kids and a solid safety net for hobbies and to have one of us SAH.

You asked what we'd be comfortable with and that would be my bottom line. Even at that I'd have to give my our 3k/mo retirement contributions.

You're a rich, over privileged idiot. Unfortunately you are raising your children to be spoiled, entitled brats.

Why do you think this? How is it of poor value to take nice vacations and send your kids to the best enrichment activities my money can buy? My parents did this for me and it has paid off well.

Everyone sends their children the best opportunities their money can afford while maintaining a solid savings and retirement as to not burden said kids with supporting me in old age.

Hold onto your seat. Despite living in a great public school district, I send my one daughter to Madeira and my son to Landon.

As a Jewish guy, literally every word of your post makes me cringe. WASPs, man.

Um, we're Jewish as well. Our Jewish parents gave us the best of everything, especially education. Im not sure what Jewish community you are from, but this is 101. As a matter of fact if we couldn't afford their schools, our parents would step in. All the opportunities we got from being born into affluence is exactly how that affluence remains alive and well.

Anonymous wrote:We have 8K after paying mortgage and taxes and here is our breakdown:

Pre-school/Daycare: 1400
Car Insurance/life insurance: 100
Car payment: 800
Utilities/Cable/phones: 700
Food/restaurant: 1000
Incidentals: 300
Gas: 200
HOA: 70

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Anonymous wrote:6-7 is the absolute minimum I'd be comfortable with.

Same here and that's well below what we currently have left after mortgage and childcare.

Same question as previously -- where do you see all of that money going?

We eat good quality food, my kids play year round sports, one travel team each, we take 2 nice vacations a year, my kids go to great summer camps, including a computer programming one at georgetown for $1000/wk, we save for college to afford them the best opportunity possible, we put aside 32k/yr in 401k, plus we have healthy savings.

Sure we COULD live on way less, but I wouldn't willingly choose to sacrifice retirement ,college savings, rich experiences for my kids and a solid safety net for hobbies and to have one of us SAH.

You asked what we'd be comfortable with and that would be my bottom line. Even at that I'd have to give my our 3k/mo retirement contributions.

You're a rich, over privileged idiot. Unfortunately you are raising your children to be spoiled, entitled brats.

Why do you think this? How is it of poor value to take nice vacations and send your kids to the best enrichment activities my money can buy? My parents did this for me and it has paid off well.

Everyone sends their children the best opportunities their money can afford while maintaining a solid savings and retirement as to not burden said kids with supporting me in old age.

Hold onto your seat. Despite living in a great public school district, I send my one daughter to Madeira and my son to Landon.

As a Jewish guy, literally every word of your post makes me cringe. WASPs, man.

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Anonymous wrote:And as you're doing a line item of budget and savings, honestly I would account for putting SOMETHING away for the kids' eventual college in the US. I know more than one immigrant who has said -- oh I will raise my kids to love my country just like I do and they have TONS of family there so of course they'll go to college there. Well 18 yrs later -- the kid who is born and raised in America may consider himself 100% American and may not be interested in going to college in Australia when all his buddies are going to NYU. As for -- well I'll just force him -- easier said than done if you get a child that says, well fine, I don't really want to go to college anyway.

I went to UVA and have a huge business network here because of it
UVA gave me much more than an education.

Right -- which is why there's value in going to school where you're going to live -- often the same region but always in the same country. Not sure how many 17 yr olds think like that -- they may just think -- I want to go where my friends are going - UVa or UMD or NYU or whatever -- I don't care if mom and dad are from Australia.

OP here -- FWIW, she's Australian who moved to the US for college, and I'm a west coaster who moved to DC for college, so I guess neither of us are predisposed to treat going to college around where you grew up as the be-all end-all (or if anything, to see it as a net positive).

We're certainly planning to save money for college (and could transition back to a dual income household down the line to support that), but the costs of college right now in the United States are absolutely insane, and who knows how much worse it might be 20+ years from now! And we're in DC, so there's no mid-price in-state tuition option as there would be in MD/VA.

The kid's preferences are important, but just as they won't always get to eat what they want or spend what they want in their daily lives, their hypothetical preference to pass up on a world-class university in an English-speaking country that would be virtually free by comparison would be something I'd take into consideration, but I'm not going to let it entirely dictate our choices.

Though if I have the sort of kid who'd really say "well fine, I'm not going to college anyways then," then as much as that would suck for me, the least-worst option is probably that they don't go to college. If they're not self-directed and internally motivated they wouldn't get much out of it, so it'd just be throwing good money after bad. Seen it happen many times to others.

Busted! Lol. As I suspected in your original post, you flipped the genders.

Wise, as you were looking to avoid SAHM bashing (much less SAHD bashing on here - because the woman stays in control economically), but you just gave yourself away.

Actually the opposite, lol. The situation is exactly as described, but we've both been hopping onto this thread, simply replying as 'OP'.

Lol! Sorry, you are a pathetic liar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6-7 is the absolute minimum I'd be comfortable with.

Same here and that's well below what we currently have left after mortgage and childcare.

Same question as previously -- where do you see all of that money going?

We eat good quality food, my kids play year round sports, one travel team each, we take 2 nice vacations a year, my kids go to great summer camps, including a computer programming one at georgetown for $1000/wk, we save for college to afford them the best opportunity possible, we put aside 32k/yr in 401k, plus we have healthy savings.

Sure we COULD live on way less, but I wouldn't willingly choose to sacrifice retirement ,college savings, rich experiences for my kids and a solid safety net for hobbies and to have one of us SAH.

You asked what we'd be comfortable with and that would be my bottom line. Even at that I'd have to give my our 3k/mo retirement contributions.

You're a rich, over privileged idiot. Unfortunately you are raising your children to be spoiled, entitled brats.

Why do you think this? How is it of poor value to take nice vacations and send your kids to the best enrichment activities my money can buy? My parents did this for me and it has paid off well.

Everyone sends their children the best opportunities their money can afford while maintaining a solid savings and retirement as to not burden said kids with supporting me in old age.

Hold onto your seat. Despite living in a great public school district, I send my one daughter to Madeira and my son to Landon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And as you're doing a line item of budget and savings, honestly I would account for putting SOMETHING away for the kids' eventual college in the US. I know more than one immigrant who has said -- oh I will raise my kids to love my country just like I do and they have TONS of family there so of course they'll go to college there. Well 18 yrs later -- the kid who is born and raised in America may consider himself 100% American and may not be interested in going to college in Australia when all his buddies are going to NYU. As for -- well I'll just force him -- easier said than done if you get a child that says, well fine, I don't really want to go to college anyway.

I went to UVA and have a huge business network here because of it
UVA gave me much more than an education.

Right -- which is why there's value in going to school where you're going to live -- often the same region but always in the same country. Not sure how many 17 yr olds think like that -- they may just think -- I want to go where my friends are going - UVa or UMD or NYU or whatever -- I don't care if mom and dad are from Australia.

OP here -- FWIW, she's Australian who moved to the US for college, and I'm a west coaster who moved to DC for college, so I guess neither of us are predisposed to treat going to college around where you grew up as the be-all end-all (or if anything, to see it as a net positive).

We're certainly planning to save money for college (and could transition back to a dual income household down the line to support that), but the costs of college right now in the United States are absolutely insane, and who knows how much worse it might be 20+ years from now! And we're in DC, so there's no mid-price in-state tuition option as there would be in MD/VA.

The kid's preferences are important, but just as they won't always get to eat what they want or spend what they want in their daily lives, their hypothetical preference to pass up on a world-class university in an English-speaking country that would be virtually free by comparison would be something I'd take into consideration, but I'm not going to let it entirely dictate our choices.

Though if I have the sort of kid who'd really say "well fine, I'm not going to college anyways then," then as much as that would suck for me, the least-worst option is probably that they don't go to college. If they're not self-directed and internally motivated they wouldn't get much out of it, so it'd just be throwing good money after bad. Seen it happen many times to others.

Busted! Lol. As I suspected in your original post, you flipped the genders.

Wise, as you were looking to avoid SAHM bashing (much less SAHD bashing on here - because the woman stays in control economically), but you just gave yourself away.

Actually the opposite, lol. The situation is exactly as described, but we've both been hopping onto this thread, simply replying as 'OP'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6-7 is the absolute minimum I'd be comfortable with.

Same here and that's well below what we currently have left after mortgage and childcare.

Same question as previously -- where do you see all of that money going?

We eat good quality food, my kids play year round sports, one travel team each, we take 2 nice vacations a year, my kids go to great summer camps, including a computer programming one at georgetown for $1000/wk, we save for college to afford them the best opportunity possible, we put aside 32k/yr in 401k, plus we have healthy savings.

Sure we COULD live on way less, but I wouldn't willingly choose to sacrifice retirement ,college savings, rich experiences for my kids and a solid safety net for hobbies and to have one of us SAH.

You asked what we'd be comfortable with and that would be my bottom line. Even at that I'd have to give my our 3k/mo retirement contributions.

You're a rich, over privileged idiot. Unfortunately you are raising your children to be spoiled, entitled brats.

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Anonymous wrote:I could never get comfortable with having a SAH spouse who never wanted to work again, not in this age of tenuous employment. No way.

I could never get comfortable entrusting a merely quasi-interested stranger with the task of raising my child half the time during their most formative years. We all have different things we could never get comfortable with, I suppose.

Anonymous wrote:We have about 6k per month left over after mortgage and taxes (my mom watches the kids). It is more than enough to live pretty luxuriously, I think. We never think about money.