Anonymous
Post 01/18/2016 14:38     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:Why the hell are people bashing a few weeks of paternity leave? This is a GOOD thing. Christ.


Plus 1
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2016 14:37     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:"We're" not 18 weeks pregnant...


Plus 1
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2016 14:33     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Why the hell are people bashing a few weeks of paternity leave? This is a GOOD thing. Christ.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2016 14:26     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Men take off work for this??


Please don't procreate.


My husband didn't get FMLA or any time off. He was back to work the next day.


That must have sucked. Sorry he wasn't able or willing to help take care of his family.


Not everyone gets FMLA, jackass. I didn't, and I was the mom (with a c-section). Back to work in 5 weeks when my sick time ran out.
Anonymous
Post 01/18/2016 09:50     Subject: Re:When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
DH is a lawyer. Took 6 weeks off with each kid. They still made him partner. It's 2015 people. This isnt so novel. We cherished that time.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:29     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see why men do this.


Because (like for their wives), it is one of the momentous occasions in their lives? Because focusing entirely on family for a couple of weeks can lower overall stress to the family and allow bonding? Because in the end, his kids are more important than his job of anything else?


Not pp but, I also find it odd. A week is cool but anything more is not really about the bonding experience but rather an excuse to laze around the house. I just don't believe that men have the same biological need to bond with newborns.


holy shit i can't believe you guys! paternity leave is to actually help with the work of having a newborn. all the men i know take at least 2 weeks off. some take several months off after the mom goes back to work so they can keep the baby home longer before daycare. i am pretty sure it would be actively frowned upon in the places i have worked for the dad NOT to take off at least 2 weeks.


Just curious, what profession? Definitely not law or medicine.


I don't know about medicine - I put that in a separate category. But I am a lawyer and I assure you I would think my male coworker was an untrustworthy, immature d*ck if he did not take at least 2 weeks off after a baby arrived. Women lawyers figure out how to take maternity leave for 3-6 months every day. Dudes can figure out how to take 2 weeks off.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 17:26     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see why men do this.


Because (like for their wives), it is one of the momentous occasions in their lives? Because focusing entirely on family for a couple of weeks can lower overall stress to the family and allow bonding? Because in the end, his kids are more important than his job of anything else?


Not pp but, I also find it odd. A week is cool but anything more is not really about the bonding experience but rather an excuse to laze around the house. I just don't believe that men have the same biological need to bond with newborns.


you're projected. decent MEN don't laze around the house - they share the work.


No, they don't. But it's cool if you'd like to pretend otherwise. Whether the Dad is home or not, Mom still does about 80% of the work at the newborn stage.


You're better off with a good nanny or housekeeper in the first month or two that the baby is essentially glued to your breast.


That really speaks to the character of your DH, not the need for paternity leave. DHs should be doing a ton in those first weeks.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 16:25     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
I would say let them know after the 20 week mark.

I think it's great your using the time to be at home, with your wife and new baby. There's more to a newborn than BF'ing.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 14:35     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
I would seriously think less of coworkers or employees if they didn't take several weeks paternity leave. We don't get maternity or paternity leave but you can use sick and annual leave to care for wife and baby.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 14:19     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see why men do this.


Because (like for their wives), it is one of the momentous occasions in their lives? Because focusing entirely on family for a couple of weeks can lower overall stress to the family and allow bonding? Because in the end, his kids are more important than his job of anything else?


Not pp but, I also find it odd. A week is cool but anything more is not really about the bonding experience but rather an excuse to laze around the house. I just don't believe that men have the same biological need to bond with newborns.


you're projected. decent MEN don't laze around the house - they share the work.


No, they don't. But it's cool if you'd like to pretend otherwise. Whether the Dad is home or not, Mom still does about 80% of the work at the newborn stage.


You're better off with a good nanny or housekeeper in the first month or two that the baby is essentially glued to your breast.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 14:11     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see why men do this.


Because (like for their wives), it is one of the momentous occasions in their lives? Because focusing entirely on family for a couple of weeks can lower overall stress to the family and allow bonding? Because in the end, his kids are more important than his job of anything else?


Not pp but, I also find it odd. A week is cool but anything more is not really about the bonding experience but rather an excuse to laze around the house. I just don't believe that men have the same biological need to bond with newborns.


you're projected. decent MEN don't laze around the house - they share the work.


No, they don't. But it's cool if you'd like to pretend otherwise. Whether the Dad is home or not, Mom still does about 80% of the work at the newborn stage.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 14:08     Subject: Re:When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
OP, three weeks isn't extravagant but tell your boss in the next few weeks as a heads up. It is a courtesy you have to give your work place. In the month before the delivery make sure you have things streamlined so that some one can take up your work if need be while you are out.

Now for the crazies- yes he may not do anything but sit around for a couple of weeks. So did my husband. Remember that it is OP's prerogative to take leave when he wants to. Even sitting around the house is an amazing support for his wife to have the father/husband next to her and share every little movement of that tiny little baby with him. That is what makes you a family. My kids are not infants any more but to this day if they say or do something cute for the first time, I am sure to relay it to my DH and he does the same for me. There is special love for your offspring.
If you don't enjoy this, feel free not to take the leave. But there is no need to put down OP for wanting to spend time with his family.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 13:27     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see why men do this.


Because (like for their wives), it is one of the momentous occasions in their lives? Because focusing entirely on family for a couple of weeks can lower overall stress to the family and allow bonding? Because in the end, his kids are more important than his job of anything else?


Not pp but, I also find it odd. A week is cool but anything more is not really about the bonding experience but rather an excuse to laze around the house. I just don't believe that men have the same biological need to bond with newborns.


you're projected. decent MEN don't laze around the house - they share the work. [/quot

I thought for extended paternity, dad had to be the primary caregiver (I.e. Mom back to work),
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 13:25     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see why men do this.


Because (like for their wives), it is one of the momentous occasions in their lives? Because focusing entirely on family for a couple of weeks can lower overall stress to the family and allow bonding? Because in the end, his kids are more important than his job of anything else?


Not pp but, I also find it odd. A week is cool but anything more is not really about the bonding experience but rather an excuse to laze around the house. I just don't believe that men have the same biological need to bond with newborns.


holy shit i can't believe you guys! paternity leave is to actually help with the work of having a newborn. all the men i know take at least 2 weeks off. some take several months off after the mom goes back to work so they can keep the baby home longer before daycare. i am pretty sure it would be actively frowned upon in the places i have worked for the dad NOT to take off at least 2 weeks.


Just curious, what profession? Definitely not law or medicine.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2016 13:20     Subject: When To Tell Work I'm Expecting (Male)
OP, ignore all the crazies on this thread. I would tell them now or by 21 weeks (I always tell after the 20 week ultrasound because it is a major milestone.) And it is great you can take some time off. At my work, everyone frowned upon guys not taking their paternity leave- we thought it was not nice to the wife to fail to take up a benefit that is offered.