You can do what you want with your $$$.

But if your younger daughter sees "more schooling" going to her older sister, then she might get a little miffed.

From the looks of it, it's grad school with a real goal, as opposed to grad school because I don't know what else to do with my life.

Anonymous wrote:If you could afford it, it would be great to help the oldest with her ambition, but if you're steadfest in what you have said about not paying for grad school then you should expect to stick to your guns with that comment. The decision is really what feels right to you.

Would you feel guilty if you saw your DD drown in student loans or working 2 PT jobs to support herself through PA school?

If you can live with the answers to those questions and the feelings associated with them then you should have a pretty clear picture what is best for your family scenario.

There's always the chance that your private college UG DC would want to go to grad school so keep in mind that there may be future expectations for "fairness" too if you pay for 1 and not the other.

PAs can earn 90-100k quickly and they are in high demand. Kid can take out loans. Equal doesn't mean equal amounts. As PP says, what happens if your second child wants to go to grad school, like a private law school?

I'd save the $72k and give it when absolutely needed. Not for grad school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You paid for your first daughter to go to the UG school of HER choice.

You are paying for second daughter to the UG school of HER choice.

Sounds pretty equal to me.

It seems to me there are two questions--

1) do you have to be "equal",

2) how do you calculate "equal"?


I'm not convinced the answer to 1 is "yes" so I am less concerned about 2.

NP here. You "have" to be equal when you're a parent who promises to pay for undergrad ONLY for your 2 kids and your kids make decisions on which schools to attend based on that information.

Equal in this case could have gone several ways, IMO. Parent could have promised to pay only the cost of in-state tuition and the kids pick up the balance if their chosen school costs more (so kid #2 at the private college has to take out loans to cover the extra cost). Parent could have told the kids they would each get a lump sum of money toward their higher educations and continue paying until funds run out, and whatever is left over goes to the kid for a down payment on a house. Or parent could have promised to fully fund their undergraduate education at whatever institution the kids selected. The OP in this case chose door #3. Now the OP wants to change up the rules because kid #1's undergrad was cheaper than kid #2's. OP is entitled to do so, but it certainly isn't "equal."

Anonymous wrote:Do it as a loan and you can always forgive the loan later if you want to.

Agree with this. There are tax benefits to paying the educational institution directly (vs. helping her pay off loans later), and you could hep her a lot by providing more manageable loan terms. Obviously some of this depends on the details of your specific kid, family situation, etc.