What is there to buy? Op dreams about reno, but what about others? I can't find anything to buy I like or need. If I buy something it's most likely a want just like op's reno.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I try to live below our means. This year we bought a house that cost way less than we could afford. We're still driving old used cars. Etc. I'm usually pretty good about resisting peer pressure. I'm a lawyer and our HHI is over 300k and have friends kind of balk about our vacation (cheap, local) and other choices and point blank ask me why I don't upgrade considering my income. Our goal is financial independence, earlier retirement, funding kid's college fund -- those kinds of things -- rather than a nicer house, cars, whatever. Occasionally I find it tough to resist the pressure -- like I find myself obsessed with renovating this or that when it's not necessary and probably a bad investment at our home's price point. My question is -- if you have similar goals to us, what do you tell yourself to keep yourself in line?? I usually pull myself back from the brink but it's tough to stay disciplined. Tips welcome!

Honestly? Its my DH. He's totally devoted to it and doesn't give a rats about peer pressure. I agree with him in theory but I have a much harder time in practice. How is your DH?

Yep, that's my situation. My DH could care less about what our neighbors have, and would never cave to peer pressure. I sometimes have a difficult time, as what I think is normal spending, he thinks is extravagant.

This is prevalent in the DC area, as everyone is competing against each other!!! My DH grew up dirt poor in a different country, so I classify him as a miser. A true miser, one who hoards money. We paid cash for our house by selling other real estate. We live so below our means, it's kind of unbelievable. But we have many friends who live way beyond their means and struggle daily. I would rather be on this side of the spectrum!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hang out with people who make way less money than I do. It helps control entertainment spending/limits going to expensive restaurants.

I bought a reasonably priced house for my income and still drive my 10 year old, ugly car. Occasionally I get the urge to upgrade my car (my coworkers all drive BMWs and audis, so my car sticks out). However, then I remind myself that my friends couldn't care less what I drive and I may as well get as much mileage out of my current car as I can.

I have a goal monthly extra mortgage payment. As long as I can meet that goal, I figure any leftover money is "fun" money. For the new year, I plan to spend a little more money on myself (yoga, massages, etc). I used to hate spending money on these things because they are expensive and unnecessary. But whatever. I am a little tired of being so frugal, so I'm loosening up a little. I should still be able to retire early and pay off my house early even if I spend a few hundred bucks a month of myself.

Ding ding ding! These two things alone allow us to live below our means. If your mortgage is super low you don't have to worry so much if you are out too much last month. It's much easier.

+1 - read the bogleheads forum a lot. That will keep you exposed to smart financial decisions rather than talking to your neighbor in the 8000 sq ft house with 2 German cars.

Anonymous wrote:I hang out with people who make way less money than I do. It helps control entertainment spending/limits going to expensive restaurants.

I bought a reasonably priced house for my income and still drive my 10 year old, ugly car. Occasionally I get the urge to upgrade my car (my coworkers all drive BMWs and audis, so my car sticks out). However, then I remind myself that my friends couldn't care less what I drive and I may as well get as much mileage out of my current car as I can.

I have a goal monthly extra mortgage payment. As long as I can meet that goal, I figure any leftover money is "fun" money. For the new year, I plan to spend a little more money on myself (yoga, massages, etc). I used to hate spending money on these things because they are expensive and unnecessary. But whatever. I am a little tired of being so frugal, so I'm loosening up a little. I should still be able to retire early and pay off my house early even if I spend a few hundred bucks a month of myself.

Ding ding ding! These two things alone allow us to live below our means. If your mortgage is super low you don't have to worry so much if you are out too much last month. It's much easier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep your fixed cost low.

If you have a very high mortgage, student debt, high car payments, private school costs - you cannot really save anything.

Best advice ever.

+1. Take it from me, we're deep in debt but have spent the last year aggressively digging ourselves out. Mortgage, cars, loans, etc. Never again...

One of the things that helped me was when I was laid off a few years ago. We had a very solid 6 months emergency fund. I was unemployed for 6 months. Between my wife's salary and the fact that I really buckled down to save (I cut coupons, shopped sales, cooked all our meals, I think we went out to eat twice in 6 months), we only spent half what we usually spent, so we only used half of our 6 month emergency fund in those 6 months. When I got my new job, I looked back and realized that even with the stress of being unemployed, it was much less when I had the comfort of knowing that we were not going to have trouble paying the mortgage and putting food on the table. That's reinforced my dedication to living within our means. I watch our monthly budget, make sure we're paying off all CC's every month, we save up to buy new cars with cash. The only debt we carry is our mortgage and I pay extra every month, so that we'll have our 30 year mortgage paid off in about 22 years (we've currently been here 9 years, so 13 to go).

What you say to friends who question your choices?
Friend: Honestly, at your income, why don't you splurge a little and go on a nicer vacation? You can certainly afford it.
Me: I understand, but we have other priorities and don't want to spend more on a vacation right now; we always enjoy Ocean City, thanks.

If you need help resisting peer pressure, look for a non-brick-and-mortar savings vehicle, one that you can only get to remotely, like an on-line bank or a money market vehicle that has no direct withdrawals (you can only transfer money to another account to withdraw). Then every time you are tempted, think about the fact that you have to contact the bank/account holder to transfer money before you can use it and it automatically forces you to reconsider before you spend the money. Is the desire for whatever big enough to go through the hassle of requesting a money transfer to your primary account and then waiting the 24-72 hours for the money to transfer before you can spend it? When I was younger, I did this, I used an e-bank that gave me a higher savings % for a money market, but I could not withdraw directly. I had to transfer back to my regular bank to use the money. It stopped me from spending sometimes if I had to wait for the money. It gave me time to reconsider whether to spend the money in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:For us it's early retirement. We will put away every penny possible and just tick the months away. Right now we'll be able to retire at 58, hoping to get it to 53-55 (we're currently 35 so shouldn't be a problem). We have one DD so planning on paying for her college, wedding and giving her $100k towards her first home. We should be able to do all that, plus take 2-3 vacations a year.

We live in a townhouse, have one older car (live on the metro) and don't have the nicest stuff. I think our newest TV is 5 years old, furniture will need replaced in a year or so (it's about 10 years old), etc.

Out of curiosity, how much are you saving to retire early?

For us it's early retirement. We will put away every penny possible and just tick the months away. Right now we'll be able to retire at 58, hoping to get it to 53-55 (we're currently 35 so shouldn't be a problem). We have one DD so planning on paying for her college, wedding and giving her $100k towards her first home. We should be able to do all that, plus take 2-3 vacations a year.

We live in a townhouse, have one older car (live on the metro) and don't have the nicest stuff. I think our newest TV is 5 years old, furniture will need replaced in a year or so (it's about 10 years old), etc.

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I try to live below our means. This year we bought a house that cost way less than we could afford. We're still driving old used cars. Etc. I'm usually pretty good about resisting peer pressure. I'm a lawyer and our HHI is over 300k and have friends kind of balk about our vacation (cheap, local) and other choices and point blank ask me why I don't upgrade considering my income. Our goal is financial independence, earlier retirement, funding kid's college fund -- those kinds of things -- rather than a nicer house, cars, whatever. Occasionally I find it tough to resist the pressure -- like I find myself obsessed with renovating this or that when it's not necessary and probably a bad investment at our home's price point. My question is -- if you have similar goals to us, what do you tell yourself to keep yourself in line?? I usually pull myself back from the brink but it's tough to stay disciplined. Tips welcome!

Honestly? Its my DH. He's totally devoted to it and doesn't give a rats about peer pressure. I agree with him in theory but I have a much harder time in practice. How is your DH?

Love this thread. Here is the secret: restraint in spending (or saving) is NOT deprivation; it is empowerment. If you look at it that way and really embrace that, you will be fine. Read the book, "Your money or your life." That has much wisdom in it. Time is the vital and limited thing each of us have in this world. Be careful how you trade it for $ and realize it is a trade.

OP here. Thanks for the advice, everyone!!! Super good virtual pep talk going into 2016.

I will click back on this thread whenever I spend too long in the home improvement/reno forum

Anonymous wrote:Keep your fixed cost low.

If you have a very high mortgage, student debt, high car payments, private school costs - you cannot really save anything.

Best advice ever.

I would rather have the long payoff than the short term gratification. I'm 50, have had plenty of nice trips, evenings out and things, but have always saved 10+ % of my income. Now, with a paid off house and fully paid in college funds, and no debt, I'm thrilled to have always lived below my means. I also give at least 5% of net income to charity.

It's like with your own morals and ethics: figure out what works for you, and stick to your guns.

For us it's a habit that was formed when our income was much lower. We thought it would be a good idea to keep living frugally for most things - except travel. Our families are scattered across the globe, so it's always quite an expensive undertaking to visit parents, siblings, cousins, etc. It has become our splurge!