Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should focus on making some friends.

We have tried....I hear it gets easier w kids. Play dates and groups and such. But we haven't had any luck.

If you are a grown woman. Working full time, and have no friends then you have some serious problems.

I didn't have a shower with either of my kids. No friends to invite. It didn't happen but what I would have liked to do was a spa day with my mom and sisters (they are too cheap) or go to for tea at a fancy hotel and maybe a show. Both of these are doable in DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Incorrect this is old school. OP my family is throwing me a coed shower. Really looking forward to it since I had been dreading an all girls shower when I don't have many close girlfriends to invite.

No, nope, that is still correct. You're just not following the rules, which is fine, but it doesn't mean the rules have changed.

Who made these "rules" exactly?

I don't agree with being a stickler for these rules at all, I would not blink an eye of someone's mother or sister threw them a shower, but let's not act like we don't know rules of etiquette exist.

Ok, but WHO made these rules? And when? I think some context is necessary here. People don't stay in the same place their whole lives anymore. My family and friends don't even live in the same towns/states. But "etiquette" dictates that I should invite all of my out of state family to a DC shower my friend offered to throw, rather than letting a relative host one they could all actually attend? It's stupid. Showers are gift-giving events, I see zero difference whose house it's at. Funny enough the only explicit "no gifts" shower I've attended was hosted by the sister of the bride!

Funny enough I didn't even know this rule existed until I was engaged to be married. I'd estimate that over half of showers I've attended in my lifetime were hosted by a family member. What tacky folk I walk among!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wouldn't throw the shower for yourself anyway so don't worry yourself about it at all- you don't need the stress of this. But DH could get together with your family and figure some things out.

Good luck and hugs to you

Friends, not family, give showers.

Wrong! Whoever wants to host the shower does it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Why? I've never heard that before.

The reason is that having your family members throw you a shower is essentially asking for gifts for your family. A shower is supposed to be thrown by a friend. Not your sister or your mom.

SMH

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Incorrect this is old school. OP my family is throwing me a coed shower. Really looking forward to it since I had been dreading an all girls shower when I don't have many close girlfriends to invite.

No, nope, that is still correct. You're just not following the rules, which is fine, but it doesn't mean the rules have changed.

Who made these "rules" exactly?

I don't agree with being a stickler for these rules at all, I would not blink an eye of someone's mother or sister threw them a shower, but let's not act like we don't know rules of etiquette exist.

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Wow, what an uptight b. What "isn't proper" is your delivery... I feel sorry for anyone who has to pretend to like you and your rules on a daily basis.

Your family can absolutely throw you a baby shower if they'd like. This isn't the 50s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Incorrect this is old school. OP my family is throwing me a coed shower. Really looking forward to it since I had been dreading an all girls shower when I don't have many close girlfriends to invite.

No, nope, that is still correct. You're just not following the rules, which is fine, but it doesn't mean the rules have changed.

Who made these "rules" exactly?

Anonymous wrote:It isn't about the gifts. We have already bought all big stuff and plan on buying everything ourselves. With the exception of what our families offer. Its more about being supported and celebrated. It goes beyond the shower..it's Christmas, bdays and milestones alone.

We belonged to a very religious group of friends. We lived together before marriage and everyone decided we were no longer worth speaking to.

I see where you are coming from OP- it's not about the gifts, it's about celebrating a happy milestone. You are well rid of your judgmental friends though, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

Anonymous wrote:It isn't about the gifts. We have already bought all big stuff and plan on buying everything ourselves. With the exception of what our families offer. Its more about being supported and celebrated. It goes beyond the shower..it's Christmas, bdays and milestones alone.

We belonged to a very religious group of friends. We lived together before marriage and everyone decided we were no longer worth speaking to.

You can either:

Throw your own shower and invite people you aren't really friends with

or

Count your blessings and focus on how lucky you are. Celebrate with your Spouse and look forward to making new friends (which you will).

It isn't about the gifts. We have already bought all big stuff and plan on buying everything ourselves. With the exception of what our families offer. Its more about being supported and celebrated. It goes beyond the shower..it's Christmas, bdays and milestones alone.

We belonged to a very religious group of friends. We lived together before marriage and everyone decided we were no longer worth speaking to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Why? I've never heard that before.

The reason is that having your family members throw you a shower is essentially asking for gifts for your family. A shower is supposed to be thrown by a friend. Not your sister or your mom.

Go back to 1950 where you belong PP.

Anonymous wrote:You wouldn't throw the shower for yourself anyway so don't worry yourself about it at all- you don't need the stress of this. But DH could get together with your family and figure some things out.

Good luck and hugs to you

Friends, not family, give showers.

Where is this official baby shower/social event handbook? I'd like to read it.

OP, it's fine if a family member hosts. I've personally never cared when I've been invited. It was the second and third showers that got a "hell no" response from me. If I didn't have any friends to invite, I probably wouldn't hold one though just because it'd be a waste of money in the end. Instead, maybe they can gift that money to you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of man pushes to have a baby shower?

A cheap one. We had a male co-worker beg for a baby shower at our job for his second child because he is cheap and wanted as much free stuff as he could get. No one in the office likes him so it was real awkward for all of us.

Yeah, types like that ruin it for everyone. In my case, I had been at that job for years. I had just had a small private wedding so I think that my coworkers were just doing something special for me because so many big events were happening for me at all once and they knew that I wasn't exactly making big bucks. It was really sweet and much appreciated.