Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You sound a little young so I'll be easy on you. It's really his business to tell you or not to tell you and you need to take it easy with trying to control the info flow.

I don't see why he won't tell me. If the situation were reversed I would tell him. It just seems wrong that he knows all about my first time and by default my entire sexual history and I don't know much about his. I think it would make sense for him to tell me about his first time given the situation.
I'm not controlling anything. I haven't given him any ultimatums or anything.

Your insistence on this is odd.

I guess it's because I waited a long time and it was special to me, and he tells me it was a long time ago and it doesn't really remember much, so I think he's lying because I doubt I'll forget my first time.

I really don't understand why this is weird. Is this really something people don't talk about?

Yes. This definitely fits into the category of "private."

I find your badgering him about it to be immature and offputting. Frankly, I'd dump you if you did this to me. My guess is you've made such a big deal about yours -- assigning a lot of pointless meaning and symbolism to it -- that he suspects his own circumstances won't measure up to whatever ideal you have, so he sees little upside in sharing it.

How exactly am I badgering him? I have asked him all of 2 times. 2 times! Losing my virginity was a big deal and he knows that. I had a lot of body image , self-esteem, and trust issues that made it hard for me to get close to anyone until I met him.

Then, as an adult, it's time to learn an important thing. And that thing is: Sometimes, the problem is YOU and it's up to you to deal with it. Yr self esteem and body issues are your problem. Relying on a significant other to make you feel better doesn't ever change the problem.

So, sit and examine WITH YOURSELF why this is so important to you. Pick it apart, and examine it carefully. And learn from it. This will be the first of many hang ups that you will feel are mountains, I predict. Asking him two times was one time too many.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You sound a little young so I'll be easy on you. It's really his business to tell you or not to tell you and you need to take it easy with trying to control the info flow.

I don't see why he won't tell me. If the situation were reversed I would tell him. It just seems wrong that he knows all about my first time and by default my entire sexual history and I don't know much about his. I think it would make sense for him to tell me about his first time given the situation.
I'm not controlling anything. I haven't given him any ultimatums or anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You sound a little young so I'll be easy on you. It's really his business to tell you or not to tell you and you need to take it easy with trying to control the info flow.

I don't see why he won't tell me. If the situation were reversed I would tell him. It just seems wrong that he knows all about my first time and by default my entire sexual history and I don't know much about his. I think it would make sense for him to tell me about his first time given the situation.
I'm not controlling anything. I haven't given him any ultimatums or anything.

Your insistence on this is odd.

I guess it's because I waited a long time and it was special to me, and he tells me it was a long time ago and it doesn't really remember much, so I think he's lying because I doubt I'll forget my first time.

I really don't understand why this is weird. Is this really something people don't talk about?

Yes. This definitely fits into the category of "private."

I find your badgering him about it to be immature and offputting. Frankly, I'd dump you if you did this to me. My guess is you've made such a big deal about yours -- assigning a lot of pointless meaning and symbolism to it -- that he suspects his own circumstances won't measure up to whatever ideal you have, so he sees little upside in sharing it.

How exactly am I badgering him? I have asked him all of 2 times. 2 times! Losing my virginity was a big deal and he knows that. I had a lot of body image , self-esteem, and trust issues that made it hard for me to get close to anyone until I met him.

Anonymous wrote:You waited until age 25 but did not get close enough to this man to find out facts about his life that matter to you before sleeping with him.

You're well within your rights if you want the kind of relationship where you and your partner discuss every last detail of your lives, but you establish that first if that's what you want.

You're either a very naive person who just slept with a man who doesn't see you as emotional partner material or you're a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You sound a little young so I'll be easy on you. It's really his business to tell you or not to tell you and you need to take it easy with trying to control the info flow.

I don't see why he won't tell me. If the situation were reversed I would tell him. It just seems wrong that he knows all about my first time and by default my entire sexual history and I don't know much about his. I think it would make sense for him to tell me about his first time given the situation.
I'm not controlling anything. I haven't given him any ultimatums or anything.

Your insistence on this is odd.

I guess it's because I waited a long time and it was special to me, and he tells me it was a long time ago and it doesn't really remember much, so I think he's lying because I doubt I'll forget my first time.

I really don't understand why this is weird. Is this really something people don't talk about?

Yes. This definitely fits into the category of "private."

I find your badgering him about it to be immature and offputting. Frankly, I'd dump you if you did this to me. My guess is you've made such a big deal about yours -- assigning a lot of pointless meaning and symbolism to it -- that he suspects his own circumstances won't measure up to whatever ideal you have, so he sees little upside in sharing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP? You sound a little young so I'll be easy on you. It's really his business to tell you or not to tell you and you need to take it easy with trying to control the info flow.

I don't see why he won't tell me. If the situation were reversed I would tell him. It just seems wrong that he knows all about my first time and by default my entire sexual history and I don't know much about his. I think it would make sense for him to tell me about his first time given the situation.
I'm not controlling anything. I haven't given him any ultimatums or anything.

Your insistence on this is odd.

I guess it's because I waited a long time and it was special to me, and he tells me it was a long time ago and it doesn't really remember much, so I think he's lying because I doubt I'll forget my first time.

I really don't understand why this is weird. Is this really something people don't talk about?

Anonymous wrote:Most guys have a video of the first time. It is fairly common to just show the video to all girlfriends after the first. Save a lot of time and you can see what the girl looks like.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that so many people here would be comfortable with a partner who wouldn't share any details of his/her sexual past. I would find the situation OP describes to be odd and unsettling.