Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Cohabiting couples who have a baby before getting married no longer face a higher risk of divorce than those those who marry before their first child.

Procreating outside of marriage is pretty stupid, you can't spin it any other way.

Marrying an uncaring partner and father doesn't do much good for anyone, either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Cohabiting couples who have a baby before getting married no longer face a higher risk of divorce than those those who marry before their first child.

Procreating outside of marriage is pretty stupid, you can't spin it any other way.

mistakes and accidents happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move on and grieve both losses. You deserve better.

+1. A still born at 6 months is way different than a first trimester miscarriage. Your boyfriend is a dick. Dump him and move on.

Can we admit there is a certain cruelty to hanging out with friends until 3 am a week after even a first trimester miscarriage?

Happened to me after an early loss - and it was still extremely hurtful that boyfriend would rather hang out with friends than comfort me.

OP, have you talked with him about staying out late?

The vast majority of the opinion above is that you should end the relationship. What do you think about that?

Anonymous wrote:
Cohabiting couples who have a baby before getting married no longer face a higher risk of divorce than those those who marry before their first child.

Procreating outside of marriage is pretty stupid, you can't spin it any other way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just out of curiousity : how long have you been dating and was the baby his?

Some men are dicks, but something isn't quite adding up for me.

Regardless, I really am sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.

2 years of dating. Baby was his. He was playing soccer yesterday all day (starting from 1pm) and then went out until 3am. He doesn't do this a lot. He does have a habit of NOT keeping his word. This is what bugs me the most. I am 28 and he's 33.

Why aren't/ weren't you married?

Serious (obvious) question.

Cohabiting couples who have a baby before getting married no longer face a higher risk of divorce than those those who marry before their first child.

So so sorry for your loss.was he st the hodoutsl euth you last week? Has he been caring ? Did he want the baby?/have yiu duscussed marriage?

I dont know these answers buy i woukd say thst if this is typical then when you feel ready, you should leave this guy.
Without going into details, my boyfriend of several years abandoned me during a miscarriage ( early and unplanned pregnancy). Hurt like hell and took me a while to get the strength but I ended things. There was no coming back after what he did . in the hospital there was a kind nurse who could tell I was in a lot of emotional distress when she asked if I had a partner and I told her he was at home sleeping and she said essentially that maybe as terrible as this was there was a perhaps a lesson in it all ( something to that effect but gentler). He showed me who he was and would be when things got uncomfortable or tough ( which started with his reaction to the pregnancy itself).

Moving on was the best thing that I could have done for my future happiness.

In your case it's possible he us grieving differently but please listen to your feelings. If he can't support you through this he is not the guy for you. Please also consider seeking help with dealing with your traumatic loss

So very sorry for your loss.

The universe is looking out for you because you're free of him. Take the fresh opportunity and lesson learned and find a better partner and father for your future children. This guy is not the one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just out of curiousity : how long have you been dating and was the baby his?

Some men are dicks, but something isn't quite adding up for me.

Regardless, I really am sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself.

2 years of dating. Baby was his. He was playing soccer yesterday all day (starting from 1pm) and then went out until 3am. He doesn't do this a lot. He does have a habit of NOT keeping his word. This is what bugs me the most. I am 28 and he's 33.

Why aren't/ weren't you married?

Serious (obvious) question.

I also had a 2nd trimester stillbirth. DH and I grieved differently. And we had to give each other space to do so. But the one thing he didn't do was abandon me. His #1 priority was me, my health and comfort. At 1 week post loss, you are still a bundle of hormones and maybe even your milk coming in. I was a wreck. If I was on the couch and just couldn't will myself to go to the kitchen to get something to drink, all I had to do was call for him. He would come from the back of the house and lovingly get it for me. He was at my beck and call and my rock.

We hit a few bumps as we processed things differently, but we worked through them as a team. And I know I can count on him 100% when the sh!t hits the fan.

I'm sorry OP for your loss and the realization that this isn't the guy you want to hitch your star too. This isn't the man who is going to comfort and take care of you when you need it. This is the guy who is alway going to put his needs and wants first. And you will spend your entire life battling with him, until one day he leaves you.

Please find the strength to leave him. Maybe not now, deal with your grief first. But in time.

"Boyfriend" is nonpermanent status. It's that way for a reason. You have the power.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your husband being out late preventing you from doing something? Do you do anything?

I think it hurts more because I have been incredibly sad today. I had a miscarriage last week and he knows I've been down.

PP, are you the OP? You got pregnant with your BF?

There are other, better, men out there. Grieve, get counseling, get back out there and meet them.