Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:38     Subject: Re:If you're a DW who kept her last name
It just goes with the territory when you choose to do something not the norm. Like if you name your child Madisyn and have to spend the next 18 years explaining "it's SYN." It's actually one reason a lot of people do change their names or do select standard spellings for kids' names.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:33     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
I don't care at all.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:31     Subject: Re:If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:I would never correct family (no one on either side in my generation has changed names after marriage), and don't mind personal mail addressed to us collectively as The Smiths (husband's last name). I never correct friends of my kids who are clearly trying to be respectful but would have no reason to know my last name, or adults who know us through school since the kids have husband's last name.

But totally snippy with telemarketers who ask for Mrs. Smith. I say "This is Ms. Jones, may I help you?" If you want my money, you'd better know my name.


When a telemarketer asks to speak to Mrs. Jones, I just say, "There's no such person here."
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:31     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can someone please let me know the best way to address mail to the family?

For instance if sending to the family of Jane Smith and John Miller should I write:
The Smith-Miller Family
or
The Miller-Smith Family

I have several friends where wife kept maiden name that we send Christmas cards to and I never know if I am addressing them appropriately. Thanks.
Thanks.


The Family of Jane Smith and John Miller?



What if the kids are Millers? Is it then Miller family and Jane Smith?

Wouldn't Miller-Smith Family mean their names are hyphenated? Would it be Miller and Smith Family?


We go by the Miller-Smith Family (or the Smith-Miller Family, I don't think the order matters). People don't seem to be confused at all. And that's how I send out cards to families where the parents have different last names. If they have kids, it's the Smith-Miller Family. If they don't have kids, I write John Smith & Jane Miller.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:26     Subject: Re:If you're a DW who kept her last name
I would never correct family (no one on either side in my generation has changed names after marriage), and don't mind personal mail addressed to us collectively as The Smiths (husband's last name). I never correct friends of my kids who are clearly trying to be respectful but would have no reason to know my last name, or adults who know us through school since the kids have husband's last name.

But totally snippy with telemarketers who ask for Mrs. Smith. I say "This is Ms. Jones, may I help you?" If you want my money, you'd better know my name.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:18     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:Do you bother correcting family members when they call you by your husband's last name? We are 6 months post-wedding and various cousins and grandparents from DH's family have sent mail only to me (i.e. birthday cards) addressed to "Larla (DH last name)". It drives me insane because I felt very strongly about keeping my name.

FWIW, I have kept my name on Facebook and if people ask I of course tell them. But I haven't made any sort of announcement (because that would be weird), so I guess everyone just assumes I forgot to change it on Facebook.


Just let them know so they can stop sending you birthday cards and ect...you sound like a witch.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:16     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:Can someone please let me know the best way to address mail to the family?

For instance if sending to the family of Jane Smith and John Miller should I write:
The Smith-Miller Family
or
The Miller-Smith Family

I have several friends where wife kept maiden name that we send Christmas cards to and I never know if I am addressing them appropriately. Thanks.
Thanks.


Either would be fine.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:15     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can someone please let me know the best way to address mail to the family?

For instance if sending to the family of Jane Smith and John Miller should I write:
The Smith-Miller Family
or
The Miller-Smith Family

I have several friends where wife kept maiden name that we send Christmas cards to and I never know if I am addressing them appropriately. Thanks.
Thanks.


The Family of Jane Smith and John Miller?



Address on the envelope to just one of them. Inside the card, "Jane, John, and family"
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2015 09:05     Subject: Re:If you're a DW who kept her last name
Good grief no.

We've been married almost 20 years and people still make this mistake, but I'd drive myself nuts going around correcting people.

Anonymous
Post 12/13/2015 18:10     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Can someone please let me know the best way to address mail to the family?

For instance if sending to the family of Jane Smith and John Miller should I write:
The Smith-Miller Family
or
The Miller-Smith Family

I have several friends where wife kept maiden name that we send Christmas cards to and I never know if I am addressing them appropriately. Thanks.
Thanks.


The Family of Jane Smith and John Miller?



What if the kids are Millers? Is it then Miller family and Jane Smith?

Wouldn't Miller-Smith Family mean their names are hyphenated? Would it be Miller and Smith Family?
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2015 18:09     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
I don't correct people. Not the hill to die on.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2015 18:09     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:Can someone please let me know the best way to address mail to the family?

For instance if sending to the family of Jane Smith and John Miller should I write:
The Smith-Miller Family
or
The Miller-Smith Family

I have several friends where wife kept maiden name that we send Christmas cards to and I never know if I am addressing them appropriately. Thanks.
Thanks.


The Family of Jane Smith and John Miller?

Anonymous
Post 12/13/2015 18:07     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
I don't correct people. And my DH doesn't correct people when they call him by my last name.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2015 18:03     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Can someone please let me know the best way to address mail to the family?

For instance if sending to the family of Jane Smith and John Miller should I write:
The Smith-Miller Family
or
The Miller-Smith Family

I have several friends where wife kept maiden name that we send Christmas cards to and I never know if I am addressing them appropriately. Thanks.
Thanks.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2015 17:37     Subject: If you're a DW who kept her last name
Anonymous wrote:What would I write if I only wanted to write something like Smith Family on the card? Do I have to write Jane Doe and Smith Family? Is Smith family rude?


Smith-Doe Family for instance
And while, according to this thread, some people don't care, I do find it rude to be excluded from cards and invitations (we have one friend in particular who is such a nice guy but always announces "WELCOME SMITHS!" when we walk in the room... except my name is Doe. Weird as his wife didn't change her name either.)