Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 23:11     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:Large socio-economic status differences -- I came from a wealthy family, he from a poor one. I didn't care nor did my family, but he clearly did, and it didn't start with me and it carried through to other aspects of his life.

Strong history of substance abuse and mental illness in his family (although he himself did not appear to have similar problems until years into our relationship).

Very serious very early on. Talking marriage, kids, moving in together within 6 months.

Low self-esteem.

Lied about small things.


THIS^^^^^^
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 23:09     Subject: Early redflags
Mine wouldn't let me sleep until he was ready to go to bed. Seems silly but in retrospect it was such a red flag and it's been a consistent issue. If I say I'm tired and need to go to bed, he begs me to stay up if he's in a good mood or berates me for not giving him enough attention if he's in a bad mood. So sad.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 23:09     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry some of you married such assholes.


Asshole dropped dead at age 40. It's been HEAVEN without him.



Of what?
Sorry to be nosy.


Heart attack. Refused to follow doctors' orders.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 23:09     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry some of you married such assholes.


Asshole dropped dead at age 40. It's been HEAVEN without him.


I've been praying for this ....


Me too, but it didn't happen, so he dragged me through the divorce of the century. I lost several years of my life to this, and I despise him even more. I wish he would just drop dead - and my therapist, family, ad friends all agree.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 23:06     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He did not dedicate a book he wrote to me. Even though I worked for years and supported us so he could finish his novel. He dedicated to his grandmother, who passed away. When I asked if he could dedicate it to both of us at least, he refused.



Unroll those eyes! We ended up divorcing because I was the only one who worked, and his family didn't approve of me. I connect those dots to that novel red flag.


New poster. I think your point is very valid.



Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 23:00     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:When he stayed out past 10:30 at his company Christmas party.


Oh come on. Enough of that already.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 22:56     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He did not dedicate a book he wrote to me. Even though I worked for years and supported us so he could finish his novel. He dedicated to his grandmother, who passed away. When I asked if he could dedicate it to both of us at least, he refused.



Unroll those eyes! We ended up divorcing because I was the only one who worked, and his family didn't approve of me. I connect those dots to that novel red flag.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 22:09     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:He did not dedicate a book he wrote to me. Even though I worked for years and supported us so he could finish his novel. He dedicated to his grandmother, who passed away. When I asked if he could dedicate it to both of us at least, he refused.

Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:49     Subject: Early redflags
He did not dedicate a book he wrote to me. Even though I worked for years and supported us so he could finish his novel. He dedicated to his grandmother, who passed away. When I asked if he could dedicate it to both of us at least, he refused.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:40     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He flirted with a man for free wine.


Gay?!?!?!


Yup.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:35     Subject: Early redflags
Temper tantrums.

Three years in, he's having another one right now. Ruins my entire day, without fail.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:33     Subject: Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:He flirted with a man for free wine.


Gay?!?!?!
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:19     Subject: Early redflags
He flirted with a man for free wine.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:08     Subject: Early redflags
General selfishness and always keeping score has lead to a sense of unhappiness for me at times.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2015 21:02     Subject: Re:Early redflags
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:WAlso bean counting. Very tit for tat.


Go make your own money.


Uh, I'm the PP you quoted and this has nothing to do with money. DH and I earn salaries within $5000 of each other annually. But thanks anyway?