Anonymous
12/13/2015 09:41
Subject: Re:I wish I had in-laws to complain about
Anonymous wrote:I have no ILs either. My own parents are estranged. So we have no one. I try to see the pros and cons. Yes it's sad and sometimes my mind drifts to what could have been. Mostly I feel bad for my kids and I think part of their history is missing for them.
On the pro side, my DH and I have no conflict over ILs! We are able to handle the holidays how we want and make our own traditions. And we have a lot more free time for our immediate family and our chosen family (close friends) because we don't have an extended family. No worries about taking care of them in old age either.
The bottom line is you don't know what it would be like to have these people in your life and romanticizing it and missing it, while I totally get it, doesn't really accomplish much. Move forward and see the positive with what you have.
well said
Anonymous
12/13/2015 09:39
Subject: I wish I had in-laws to complain about
I miss my father in law. I wish we could have had just a few more years with him, or even just a chance to say goodbye and for him to have met our youngest before he died.
Anonymous
12/13/2015 08:47
Subject: Re:I wish I had in-laws to complain about
I have no ILs either. My own parents are estranged. So we have no one. I try to see the pros and cons. Yes it's sad and sometimes my mind drifts to what could have been. Mostly I feel bad for my kids and I think part of their history is missing for them.
On the pro side, my DH and I have no conflict over ILs! We are able to handle the holidays how we want and make our own traditions. And we have a lot more free time for our immediate family and our chosen family (close friends) because we don't have an extended family. No worries about taking care of them in old age either.
The bottom line is you don't know what it would be like to have these people in your life and romanticizing it and missing it, while I totally get it, doesn't really accomplish much. Move forward and see the positive with what you have.
On the pro side, my DH and I have no conflict over ILs! We are able to handle the holidays how we want and make our own traditions. And we have a lot more free time for our immediate family and our chosen family (close friends) because we don't have an extended family. No worries about taking care of them in old age either.
The bottom line is you don't know what it would be like to have these people in your life and romanticizing it and missing it, while I totally get it, doesn't really accomplish much. Move forward and see the positive with what you have.
Anonymous
12/13/2015 07:09
Subject: Re:I wish I had in-laws to complain about
I get it OP. Trust me when I say you would rather have no in laws than the borderline personality MIL and enabler FIL that I have. They cause DH a lot of pain, especially around the holidays.