Anonymous wrote:I suspect the people who react nicely to the MIL's actions have good relationships with their MIL's and vice versa.

I have a great relationship with my MIL. That is *because* I set boundaries with her early on. She is definitely the type to "reorganize" without asking, but after she did that and I had a conversation with her, she stopped. Being nice/having a good relationship with your in-laws (or anyone) =/= letting them do whatever they want to do just because they have good intentions. Respect is a two-way street.

I suspect the people who react nicely to the MIL's actions have good relationships with their MIL's and vice versa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her tasks that take a lot of time, like maybe wiping down all the toddler's toys so they'll be clean when the baby comes home. She's probsbly a high anxiety person who can't handle downtime (I have a SIL like this!). Fill up her chore list with activities you don't care about, like the toddler toys and such. Wash your windows maybe?

Brilliant suggestions!

And, to the PPs, no guest has any reason to go through someone's else's closets, and certainly not to enter the master bedroom. Nope!

I would not think a random guest would do it. A close family member, there to take care of a child, making a bed so OP has somewhere clean to sleep after a hospital stay? Not exactly an egregious offense.

Did you not read the original post, or are you just bad at reading comprehension? The bed was already made. Clearly it wouldn't have been made if the sheets weren't clean enough to sleep in again.

We make our bed everyday, but don't change the sheets everyday. She was trying to do a nice thing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you send them to our house? I'd love the help.

This! My mother cleaned our bed sheets while I was in the hospital and I thought it was the best thing ever.

I think if it were OP's mom she might agree. You MIL should NOT be in your bedroom nor second guessing your housework. It's rude. If she somehow doesn't know that it's rude, DH should tell her.

Isn't it her husband's (MIL's son) bed too? And you wonder why MIL's hate DIL's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you send them to our house? I'd love the help.

This! My mother cleaned our bed sheets while I was in the hospital and I thought it was the best thing ever.

I think if it were OP's mom she might agree. You MIL should NOT be in your bedroom nor second guessing your housework. It's rude. If she somehow doesn't know that it's rude, DH should tell her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of these things are even slightly bothersome other than the food one. YOU sound controlling, OP. This is the help you get. Say honestly what you don't want touched - fridge, baby closet, whatever - and be grateful.

You may not feel it, but this is a way of in-laws saying that you are not a good housekeeper

Let's review. OP washed and organized all the baby's clothing ahead of time, and hung them in size/order in the closet, going so far as to put each item on a the store hangers labeled "0-3 months," etc.

Yeahhhh, she doesn't sound clean/organized!

I was being sarcastic. I didn't mean OP was not good @ housekeeping. It's all in-laws ...They never think someone can do better job than them @ house keeping

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you send them to our house? I'd love the help.

This! My mother cleaned our bed sheets while I was in the hospital and I thought it was the best thing ever.

If your water broke all over your sheets and you rushed out the door to the hospital I can understand how it would be nice to come home to a freshly made bed. But if your bed was freshly made when you left for the hospital...there was no point in MIL going into that room at all, kwim?

Anonymous wrote:Can you send them to our house? I'd love the help.

This! My mother cleaned our bed sheets while I was in the hospital and I thought it was the best thing ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her tasks that take a lot of time, like maybe wiping down all the toddler's toys so they'll be clean when the baby comes home. She's probsbly a high anxiety person who can't handle downtime (I have a SIL like this!). Fill up her chore list with activities you don't care about, like the toddler toys and such. Wash your windows maybe?

Brilliant suggestions!

And, to the PPs, no guest has any reason to go through someone's else's closets, and certainly not to enter the master bedroom. Nope!

I would not think a random guest would do it. A close family member, there to take care of a child, making a bed so OP has somewhere clean to sleep after a hospital stay? Not exactly an egregious offense.

The bed was already clean. It was presumptuous for MIL to ASSume that it wasn't. She didn't help. She just remade a clean bed. Stay out of the Master Bedroom!

I wonder how pp's would react if someone ACTUALLY wronged them.

Op has enough on her plate w/o worrying about which of her belongings MIL will get into next....helping with the first born is a favor. Going through her stuff is not nice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her tasks that take a lot of time, like maybe wiping down all the toddler's toys so they'll be clean when the baby comes home. She's probsbly a high anxiety person who can't handle downtime (I have a SIL like this!). Fill up her chore list with activities you don't care about, like the toddler toys and such. Wash your windows maybe?

Brilliant suggestions!

And, to the PPs, no guest has any reason to go through someone's else's closets, and certainly not to enter the master bedroom. Nope!

I would not think a random guest would do it. A close family member, there to take care of a child, making a bed so OP has somewhere clean to sleep after a hospital stay? Not exactly an egregious offense.

Did you not read the original post, or are you just bad at reading comprehension? The bed was already made. Clearly it wouldn't have been made if the sheets weren't clean enough to sleep in again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of this control/respect/etc language makes me feel sorry for some of you. This woman was trying to make herself useful! Perhaps a bit over-zealously, but good Lord. No wonder so many family relationships suck - you guys sound like freaking nightmares.

Why couldn't she have busied herself baking some casseroles to pop in the oven once Op got home? Or pulling weeds in the garden. Or cleaning windows in the common rooms.

Why go into other people's stuff? For that matter, why not bring a book, knitting, something to keep yourself occupied?

Ding ding ding ding ding!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her tasks that take a lot of time, like maybe wiping down all the toddler's toys so they'll be clean when the baby comes home. She's probsbly a high anxiety person who can't handle downtime (I have a SIL like this!). Fill up her chore list with activities you don't care about, like the toddler toys and such. Wash your windows maybe?

Brilliant suggestions!

And, to the PPs, no guest has any reason to go through someone's else's closets, and certainly not to enter the master bedroom. Nope!

I would not think a random guest would do it. A close family member, there to take care of a child, making a bed so OP has somewhere clean to sleep after a hospital stay? Not exactly an egregious offense.

The bed was already clean. It was presumptuous for MIL to ASSume that it wasn't. She didn't help. She just remade a clean bed. Stay out of the Master Bedroom!

I wonder how pp's would react if someone ACTUALLY wronged them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of these things are even slightly bothersome other than the food one. YOU sound controlling, OP. This is the help you get. Say honestly what you don't want touched - fridge, baby closet, whatever - and be grateful.

You may not feel it, but this is a way of in-laws saying that you are not a good housekeeper

Let's review. OP washed and organized all the baby's clothing ahead of time, and hung them in size/order in the closet, going so far as to put each item on a the store hangers labeled "0-3 months," etc.

Yeahhhh, she doesn't sound clean/organized!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her tasks that take a lot of time, like maybe wiping down all the toddler's toys so they'll be clean when the baby comes home. She's probsbly a high anxiety person who can't handle downtime (I have a SIL like this!). Fill up her chore list with activities you don't care about, like the toddler toys and such. Wash your windows maybe?

Brilliant suggestions!

And, to the PPs, no guest has any reason to go through someone's else's closets, and certainly not to enter the master bedroom. Nope!

I would not think a random guest would do it. A close family member, there to take care of a child, making a bed so OP has somewhere clean to sleep after a hospital stay? Not exactly an egregious offense.

The bed was already clean. It was presumptuous for MIL to ASSume that it wasn't. She didn't help. She just remade a clean bed. Stay out of the Master Bedroom!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd give her tasks that take a lot of time, like maybe wiping down all the toddler's toys so they'll be clean when the baby comes home. She's probsbly a high anxiety person who can't handle downtime (I have a SIL like this!). Fill up her chore list with activities you don't care about, like the toddler toys and such. Wash your windows maybe?

Brilliant suggestions!

And, to the PPs, no guest has any reason to go through someone's else's closets, and certainly not to enter the master bedroom. Nope!

+1 Exactly!!