Anonymous
12/02/2015 05:50
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I feel a little terrible for thinking this way, but it's the truth.
It's just when I see my colleagues with their spouses, my husband seems so basic and unsophisticated. He's embarrassing.
He's a terrible dresser with a bad haircut. I've given up on the hair, but I try to help him put, but even that doesn't help. Tonight I picked out a nice outfit for him to wear to dinner with our friends. What does he do? He some how gets it dirty , and comes back down dressed in a blue shirt and maroon pants. Of course we're running late so there's no time for him to change.
At dinner he orders way too much food, and gets a doggy bag. He doesn't need the extra food he's already too think around the middle. I seriously don't know how he has middle age pudge as he works out and is only 32.
If that wasn't enough I was cringing as he participated in the conversation. He didn't say anything wrong in particular, he was just a little to eager to participate and was stumbling and stuttering over his words, and repeated himself.
I try to focus on his good qualities. He has a steady job and career that he loves, and makes a decent income, but even that is a downside as he could be further than where he is if he were just a little more ambitious.
No, I'm not contemplating an affair, and I want a divorce.
I do wonder what it would be like to have a husband that was more impressive.
You want a divorce b/c your husband is unimpressive.
OP, do you realize how shallow you are? Even if the divorce part is a typo (Freudian slip), you are still extremely shallow. You should be ashamed of yourself.
That was a typo. I don't want a divorce. Maybe I'm shallow, but it's how I feel.
OK, allow me to be blunt:
Your feelings are completely invalid. You are cunt for having them, much less expressing them.
I'm sorry if you thought you'd get sympathy by posting this on DCUM. Maybe you confused this with a being a safe place where it was OK to vent. It's not.
You suck. You are a rancid cunt.
Do the man a favor and leave him.
Someone forgot their mood stabilizers today.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 05:22
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
I'll take him off your hands real fast op!
Anonymous
12/02/2015 04:45
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:This just hurts my heart for your husband. I don't know any answers, but I hope you don't make him doubt himself or feel less a man. Good luck.
Me too. He could have married someone who adores him for who he is, but he has OP.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 04:11
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
OP, you have a really distorted view of life and what's important. I mean seriously distorted. This isn't about your husband. It's about you. I don't know what your parents did to you, but it's seriously fucked up.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 04:07
Subject: Re:I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:"We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more."
Ugh, please get help before you have kids, or reconsider having kids.
Yeah, come on OP. Kindness matters. Not social connections.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 03:40
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Since when is it misogynistic to want to make a good impression in front of your boss?
It's not everyday you get the opportunity to have dinner with your boss.
I've been feeling like we were growing a part for a while now, and dinner just highlighted that.
I see my boss and his wife, and my colleagues and their spouses, specifically the husbands, and my husband is the odd one out.
You can call me all the names you want, but that doesn't change my feelings. I honestly don't see how I'm any worse than any of the other posters.
I'm not cheating on him. I'm not trying to hook up with my coworkers. I'm not denying him sex.
All I want for him is step his game up a bit more, and realize that what he does impacts me, and apparently that makes me a cunt. Talk about misogyny...
It's not everyday you get the opportunity to have dinner with your boss.
I've been feeling like we were growing a part for a while now, and dinner just highlighted that.
I see my boss and his wife, and my colleagues and their spouses, specifically the husbands, and my husband is the odd one out.
You can call me all the names you want, but that doesn't change my feelings. I honestly don't see how I'm any worse than any of the other posters.
I'm not cheating on him. I'm not trying to hook up with my coworkers. I'm not denying him sex.
All I want for him is step his game up a bit more, and realize that what he does impacts me, and apparently that makes me a cunt. Talk about misogyny...
Anonymous
12/02/2015 01:21
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He's going to be 33 next month I wish he'd care a little more. We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more.
Oh God, please don't start a family with him if you feel this way. What matters most with a family is love and acceptance, and you are lacking.
I never said I didn't love him. I'm fond of him. I disagree that love is what matters most, yes it's great, but in today's world children need every advantage they can get and it's no secret social networking helps.
Ok, troll. You went too far. Thread over.
I almost never think "troll!" but this time I think we found one, folks. Every post was colder than the last, just a too-perfect example of the ugliest stereotype of a wife that some of DCUM's resident misogynists love to promote.
...
Either that, or OP is a try-hard and really aggressive social climber whose poor husband isn't as spiffy as the guys in the crowd OP is trying to insert herself into.
OP, "social networking" doesn't work the way you think it does. I guarantee from your posts that the "network" you're trying to enter knows what you're about and isn't interested. Your husband's maroon pants are not the problem.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:17
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He's going to be 33 next month I wish he'd care a little more. We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more.
Oh God, please don't start a family with him if you feel this way. What matters most with a family is love and acceptance, and you are lacking.
I never said I didn't love him. I'm fond of him. I disagree that love is what matters most, yes it's great, but in today's world children need every advantage they can get and it's no secret social networking helps.
Ok, troll. You went too far. Thread over.
It's true who you know matters. My parents loved me, but they also made sure my brother and I had the network to succeed in life after we moved out with them. Hell, my dad used his connections to help me land my first job post college. I don't see my husband being able to do that, like I said he has a good career, but isn't very ambitious, and I don't see how he'll charm anyone over dinner either, unless he starts caring a little more.[/quote
And yet, for what is the biggest decision a person can make, you chose to marry him. Maybe reflect on that for a minute?
I guess I didn't think " this is it" when I married him.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:14
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:
It's true who you know matters. My parents loved me, but they also made sure my brother and I had the network to succeed in life after we moved out with them. Hell, my dad used his connections to help me land my first job post college. I don't see my husband being able to do that, like I said he has a good career, but isn't very ambitious, and I don't see how he'll charm anyone over dinner either, unless he starts caring a little more.
Your parents posted last week. They were fond of you in general but overall they were ashamed that you didn't try harder to land a more charming mate. They just didn't think you were very ambitious.
Sorry.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:13
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He's going to be 33 next month I wish he'd care a little more. We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more.
Oh God, please don't start a family with him if you feel this way. What matters most with a family is love and acceptance, and you are lacking.
I never said I didn't love him. I'm fond of him. I disagree that love is what matters most, yes it's great, but in today's world children need every advantage they can get and it's no secret social networking helps.
Ok, troll. You went too far. Thread over.
It's true who you know matters. My parents loved me, but they also made sure my brother and I had the network to succeed in life after we moved out with them. Hell, my dad used his connections to help me land my first job post college. I don't see my husband being able to do that, like I said he has a good career, but isn't very ambitious, and I don't see how he'll charm anyone over dinner either, unless he starts caring a little more.
She just doesn't quit, does she?
OP, what are you going to do when DH stumbles upon this thread?
Better erase your history frequently...
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:13
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Hi Maria!
Just kidding Jeff, please don't boot me!
Just kidding Jeff, please don't boot me!
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:13
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He's going to be 33 next month I wish he'd care a little more. We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more.
Oh God, please don't start a family with him if you feel this way. What matters most with a family is love and acceptance, and you are lacking.
I never said I didn't love him. I'm fond of him. I disagree that love is what matters most, yes it's great, but in today's world children need every advantage they can get and it's no secret social networking helps.
Ok, troll. You went too far. Thread over.
It's true who you know matters. My parents loved me, but they also made sure my brother and I had the network to succeed in life after we moved out with them. Hell, my dad used his connections to help me land my first job post college. I don't see my husband being able to do that, like I said he has a good career, but isn't very ambitious, and I don't see how he'll charm anyone over dinner either, unless he starts caring a little more.[/quote
And yet, for what is the biggest decision a person can make, you chose to marry him. Maybe reflect on that for a minute?
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:12
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He's going to be 33 next month I wish he'd care a little more. We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more.
Oh God, please don't start a family with him if you feel this way. What matters most with a family is love and acceptance, and you are lacking.
I never said I didn't love him. I'm fond of him. I disagree that love is what matters most, yes it's great, but in today's world children need every advantage they can get and it's no secret social networking helps.
Ok, troll. You went too far. Thread over.
It's true who you know matters. My parents loved me, but they also made sure my brother and I had the network to succeed in life after we moved out with them. Hell, my dad used his connections to help me land my first job post college. I don't see my husband being able to do that, like I said he has a good career, but isn't very ambitious, and I don't see how he'll charm anyone over dinner either, unless he starts caring a little more.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:10
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He's going to be 33 next month I wish he'd care a little more. We're trying to start a family, and social connections will matter even more.
Oh God, please don't start a family with him if you feel this way. What matters most with a family is love and acceptance, and you are lacking.
I never said I didn't love him. I'm fond of him. I disagree that love is what matters most, yes it's great, but in today's world children need every advantage they can get and it's no secret social networking helps.
Ok, troll. You went too far. Thread over.
It's true who you know matters. My parents loved me, but they also made sure my brother and I had the network to succeed in life after we moved out with them. Hell, my dad used his connections to help me land my first job post college. I don't see my husband being able to do that, like I said he has a good career, but isn't very ambitious, and I don't see how he'll charm anyone over dinner either, unless he starts caring a little more.
Anonymous
12/02/2015 00:10
Subject: I'm ashamed of my husband.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm shallow too but I get what the OP is saying. Not sure how to help on the lack of conversation/dorkiness, but as for wardrobe -- it's doable. You need to go thru his closet and get rid of EVERY SINGLE thing that you don't want to see him in and replace it with things that you think look good. Bonus points if you could put it together on hangers and train him that he MUST wear everything off on one hanger as one outfit. That means when he spills on the blue shirt with khaki pant outfit, he doesn't just go throw on a pair of navy pants. He must wear whatever the navy pants are paired with as well.
As for the dancing -- dance lessons? Practice at home watching youtube - as there are home videos of people dancing to every top 40 song out there? Not suggesting you guys should bust out a routine when you're out with friends, but some basic practice may help him find some rhythm.
Thank you! I'm glad someone gets it. I've tried with the clothes. I have, and I suppose I can try again.
The dancing though is truly a lost cause, we had dance lessons for our wedding, so our first dance wouldn't be a complete disaster,his body is just incapable of moving in rhythm of any sort. He tries hard, but he just can't. I'm afraid to suggest looking on Youtube as he might try to surprise me with something.
So basically, you were completely aware of this going in yet you chose to marry him. Choose love and acceptance, OP. Its very hard to change someone.