Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you not marry the alpha super driven provider type man? Is your husband a happy and low drive beta? Are you happy in your marriage?

I married a laid back, nice, family man who strives to make my life easier anyway he can. He's shy and doesn't have many friends but once he comes out of his shell people find him relatable. He does dishes, laundry and vacuums and wakes up every morning and weekend with the kids. He would never use the word "babysitting" in regard to caring for his own children. He's not an alpha, however, he is a super-driven provider with a brilliant mind and he's killing it in his career. He just doesn't stomp on others to accomplish his own success. I'm classic alpha and have dated many alphas throughout my life. I always thought I'd marry a selfish pos "powerful" alpha who treated me like crap but then I found my husband and I knew he was it. I never thought I'd be this happy in life.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Not happy.

He schlepped thru his career, switched careers and sort of hit restart when we got married - like started back at THE BOTTOM. We were mid-30s.

So now, 5 years later, he's working 70+ hours a week trying to get ahead with his career. Now, mid-life, he's doing what he should've been doing 15+ years ago. And it's killing our marriage. He's never home. Never helps with anything or does anything. I take the responsibility for all childcare, like drop offs, pick ups, dinners, lunches, hanging out, extracurriculars, etc.

I also pay the bills, clean the house, do all the shopping, all the yard work, car maintenance stuff. Really everything. Plus I work fulltime. Ok, sometimes he puts DD in the bath. And he drops her off at school once a week (not the pick up though). But that is IT. and I hate our marriage for it. I wish we never had kids at least. Then at least I could have some semblance of a life other than caretaking for DH and DD.

Anonymous wrote:I married a beta, and my happiness is mixed. Very happy that he can be counted on to leave work early or otherwise take time off for kid stuff. Along with being beta, however, comes not being a strong romantic or sexual partner. Day to day, it's pretty good. Makes me vulnerable to attention from alpha men, though.

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of off topic, but I found chasing success to be more like chasing a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, at a high cost of quality of life. People aren't ever on their death bed saying they wished they tried harder for a promotion.

Does it make people happy to live like that?

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you not marry the alpha super driven provider type man? Is your husband a happy and low drive beta? Are you happy in your marriage?

Anonymous wrote:For those women who say they are happiest in a long term relationship with guys who have the beta traits -- keep in mind that these concepts are usually directed a guys who want to have sex.

They don't really want to know what makes you happiest overall. They want to know what makes you want to have sex with them. With a lot of guys - if they have to choose between what makes you happy with them versus what makes you horny for them, they're going to pick horny every time.

A lot of this comes from the perception that women have sex with the asshole, then come to the nice guy for comfort. The nice guys want the sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't but I think it does work for some couples. The wife has to be a beta as well though to tolerate a beta male song both are relatively unambitious, laid back, and easygoing, it works and I've seen it. It's when one has so much more drive, ambition, nerve, work ethic, etc. that the shortcomings of the other become problematic.

Most alpha men want an alpha female too.

lol no they do not. Did you read what the men said in the other thread about how to land an ambitious guy? They said they prefer supportive, complimentary wife.

And as we've said in this thread, ambition doesn't always = alpha. An alpha man could handle an alpha woman. IF he were a real alpha.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't but I think it does work for some couples. The wife has to be a beta as well though to tolerate a beta male song both are relatively unambitious, laid back, and easygoing, it works and I've seen it. It's when one has so much more drive, ambition, nerve, work ethic, etc. that the shortcomings of the other become problematic.

Most alpha men want an alpha female too.

lol no they do not. Did you read what the men said in the other thread about how to land an ambitious guy? They said they prefer supportive, complimentary wife.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't but I think it does work for some couples. The wife has to be a beta as well though to tolerate a beta male song both are relatively unambitious, laid back, and easygoing, it works and I've seen it. It's when one has so much more drive, ambition, nerve, work ethic, etc. that the shortcomings of the other become problematic.

Most alpha men want an alpha female too.

Anonymous wrote:Did any of you not marry the alpha super driven provider type man? Is your husband a happy and low drive beta? Are you happy in your marriage?

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Not happy.

He schlepped thru his career, switched careers and sort of hit restart when we got married - like started back at THE BOTTOM. We were mid-30s.

So now, 5 years later, he's working 70+ hours a week trying to get ahead with his career. Now, mid-life, he's doing what he should've been doing 15+ years ago. And it's killing our marriage. He's never home. Never helps with anything or does anything. I take the responsibility for all childcare, like drop offs, pick ups, dinners, lunches, hanging out, extracurriculars, etc.

I also pay the bills, clean the house, do all the shopping, all the yard work, car maintenance stuff. Really everything. Plus I work fulltime. Ok, sometimes he puts DD in the bath. And he drops her off at school once a week (not the pick up though). But that is IT. and I hate our marriage for it. I wish we never had kids at least. Then at least I could have some semblance of a life other than caretaking for DH and DD.