Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 23:03     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
I have boring sex 4x per week. I love my dh but I think I am gay and don't enjoy sex anymore. I think of a woman I have feelings for during sex. I will never leave him. I am 43 and this has all just hit me in the last 8months.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 22:27     Subject: Re:Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
I wish my DW knew how much I would love our marriage if we could find a compromise on libido differences, and how close I have come to divorce over the gap.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 22:23     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That I would like to have an affair with a woman.


(I'm a woman who is happily married to a man.)


Why won't you share this with him?


He is not as sexually adventurous as I am, and I'm afraid of being negatively judged for it. I have been considering neutral ways of bringing it up, though.


Put on lesbian porn, see if he likes it? Don't virtually all men get turned on by two women getting it on?
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 21:57     Subject: Re:Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
That I am very much aware of the constant lies he tells, that he's not fooling anyone.


Why can't you tell him?


Probably because she does not have concrete proof and he will gaslight her until she goes insane.

Or, reduction in lifestyle/money issues that will result from a divorce.


Bingo. Just not worth it. It's never about anything important, but man, I just sit there and think "how stupid do you think I am?"


My husband does this too! Drives me insane! And of course I'm insecure and crazy for ever suspecting him of lying!

Curious...what kinds of things does your DH lie about?
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 21:48     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That I would like to have an affair with a woman.


(I'm a woman who is happily married to a man.)


Why won't you share this with him?


He is not as sexually adventurous as I am, and I'm afraid of being negatively judged for it. I have been considering neutral ways of bringing it up, though.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 21:37     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:I lost my virginity at age 14 in a closet with someone I didn't know while others waited outside for their turns. You are the first people I've told, and the last.


That stinks, but it is OK! Your spouse will love you anyway. You shouldn't be carrying this around after all these years, or feel bad about it. 14-year-olds do stupid things. It's OK!
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 20:58     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:I lost my virginity at age 14 in a closet with someone I didn't know while others waited outside for their turns. You are the first people I've told, and the last.


This makes me sad. Hugs for 14-year-old you, PP.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 20:49     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That I would like to have an affair with a woman.


(I'm a woman who is happily married to a man.)


Me too (on both counts).



This is my secret too. I would love to do something about it but I'm too shy.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 20:38     Subject: Re:Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
I have had several short term affairs, and want to stop but can't get my spouse's libido out of neutral. If spouse would take some interest in our sex life, we would have the best marriage.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 20:36     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That I would like to have an affair with a woman.


(I'm a woman who is happily married to a man.)


Me too (on both counts).


Obviously, I am projecting, but are you sure your DH would be ok, potentially thrilled with this? I wish my wife would have a lesbian affair. Totally hot.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 20:23     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
^Not wasting any time I see
MikeL
Post 10/28/2015 19:15     Subject: Re:Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:I am feeling an itch and it scares me. Strongly considering a fling. I love him very much, but I am craving variety and a different experience.

Give me a PM. I'm fun and discreet.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 18:24     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd tell my wife to lose weight because I'm not attracted to her anymore.


I had this same scenario with my now ex wife. She put on 50+ lbs. I tried to be a part of the solution - eat better, exercise together, etc. She just wasn't having any of it and ended up finding other guys that were happy to screw a fat, married woman.


Good for her.


I'm still glad she left. The weight was just one issue. She was also an alcaholic and I couldn't save around her spending. She'd literally spend us negative for the month and I'd have to scramble to figure out how to pay rent and her car note. I've been remarried now for the last 12 years and couldn't have asked for a better partner.


I'm glad for you and glad for her. Sounds like she was very unhappy with you and the marriage and I'm glad she found a new man (or should I say "men", lol) and had some fun.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 18:23     Subject: Re:Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
I am feeling an itch and it scares me. Strongly considering a fling. I love him very much, but I am craving variety and a different experience.
Anonymous
Post 10/28/2015 17:39     Subject: Things you want to tell your spouse but can't or won't
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'd tell my wife to lose weight because I'm not attracted to her anymore.


I had this same scenario with my now ex wife. She put on 50+ lbs. I tried to be a part of the solution - eat better, exercise together, etc. She just wasn't having any of it and ended up finding other guys that were happy to screw a fat, married woman.


Good for her.


I'm still glad she left. The weight was just one issue. She was also an alcaholic and I couldn't save around her spending. She'd literally spend us negative for the month and I'd have to scramble to figure out how to pay rent and her car note. I've been remarried now for the last 12 years and couldn't have asked for a better partner.