Anonymous
10/05/2015 13:46
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Np here. My family likes to be under scheduled so we can be more spontaneous with our plans. What we do for family time depends on the season/weather. Summer time we spend lots of time at the pool. Spring and fall weather we might do other things outside like take a walk or bike ride, DH might play a basketball or soccer game with ds, winter time they might go out in the snow.
For indoor activities we play board games. I like to do little projects with my son, but as he gets older we are doing this less. He likes making videos, so I help him do this and then we watch them together. My son plays legos with his dad just about every day. We eat dinner together every day. Sometimes we have a movie night. Sometimes we go bowling or to the mall or out to ice cream or just out together as a family. Sometimes my son just wants to have a friend over and I still think that counts as family time because he couldn't do that if we overscheduled and never home on the weekends.
Anonymous
10/05/2015 13:43
Subject: Re:how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
pp with 4 kids here...
my kids love the sports they play. But they also like to play with each other at home. They will play legos for hours at a time if we let them. And they dress up and put on silly plays, and take the dog for a walk, and we work in the garden together (ok the kids don't do this willingly but they help anyway, and usually end up having fun). Then there are some weekends where we will skip a game and all go camping.
Our kids know that our family size means that they each can't do as many activities as an only child can. Sometimes that is upsetting. Sometimes having siblings is great. Life is all about balance.
my kids love the sports they play. But they also like to play with each other at home. They will play legos for hours at a time if we let them. And they dress up and put on silly plays, and take the dog for a walk, and we work in the garden together (ok the kids don't do this willingly but they help anyway, and usually end up having fun). Then there are some weekends where we will skip a game and all go camping.
Our kids know that our family size means that they each can't do as many activities as an only child can. Sometimes that is upsetting. Sometimes having siblings is great. Life is all about balance.
Anonymous
10/05/2015 13:35
Subject: Re:how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
We have 4 kids and honestly I think your kids are in too much for your family.
Our kids do one sport per season plus they can do track if they want. New rule this year is max 5 parties per kid per year. Having a limit on parties has been a life saver. My 10ds has also said he won't go to anymore laser tag parties. He can't stand the place!!!!
As others have said you split up and carpool. I make it to every weeknight softball game for my dd because she knows I probably won't make it to the weekend games.
Be the first parent to offer help to others when you can. I drive the carpool to practice and the other family drives to games. It works much better when you start off by helping others than they don't mind helping you in return.
Also, our kids didn't start playing sports in K just because their classmates did. We waited for our kids to ask. That got us an extra 2 years of sanity.
Our kids do one sport per season plus they can do track if they want. New rule this year is max 5 parties per kid per year. Having a limit on parties has been a life saver. My 10ds has also said he won't go to anymore laser tag parties. He can't stand the place!!!!
As others have said you split up and carpool. I make it to every weeknight softball game for my dd because she knows I probably won't make it to the weekend games.
Be the first parent to offer help to others when you can. I drive the carpool to practice and the other family drives to games. It works much better when you start off by helping others than they don't mind helping you in return.
Also, our kids didn't start playing sports in K just because their classmates did. We waited for our kids to ask. That got us an extra 2 years of sanity.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 15:12
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:We have 3 elementary aged kids and my youngest is in K.
I'm finding it really hard to have 3 kids involved in any weekend activities because we can't be in 3 places at once.
And I don't think we're over-scheduling! My 3 play rec soccer, my eldest plays travel soccer as well and my son also plays little league.
Next weekend's schedule (very typical)
10:30am soccer game at Stoddert elementary for kid #1
10:30am soccer game at Trinity University for kid #2
11am birthday party in NW for kid #1
11:30am soccer game at Fort Stevens for kid#3
1pm Little League game in NW for kid #2
1pm Travel soccer game in Boyds, Maryland for kid#3
3pm birthday party in NW DC for kid #2
4:30 birthday party in NW DC for kid #3
This is a completely typical Saturday for us. I feel like every weekend is an elaborate jigsaw puzzle and I do all kids of ride sharing and favor-calling-in to make it work.
I'm good friends with a large network of parents but every weekend I feel like I'm saying multiple times, "can you pick up my kid here?" Can I drop off my kid 30 minutes early and you take him/her to the party?"
It simply isn't possible to be 3 places at once with 2 parents.
The other option is to say no to every birthday party and to further limit the sports but even with REC soccer alone we have a conflict almost every week.
For instance, last week we had 3 rec soccer games at 9am at 3 different fields in the city. I couldn't be at Stoddert elementary, Raymond rec center on 10th and Trinity University at the same exact moment.
How do other parents of 3 make it work?
OP, it looks to me like the problem isn't so much that you have three kids with overlapping activities but that you have three children who are all individually overbooked. For example, kid #1 can't be at a 10:30 am soccer game and still go to the 11 am birthday party in your example. We have two kids and like others have said, we make things work by limiting activities, but we also say no when there is a conflict. No point making yourself crazy trying to be in two places at once for things that are supposed to be fun.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 15:08
Subject: Re:how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
I wouldn't say we use our days off for family time per se - we have some family time. But since my son has lots of structured activities during the week (aftercare & tae kwon do), we also like him to have some time on the weekend for unstructured play with kids in the neighborhood.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 15:06
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Oh, dear.
Your post reads like you have your kids in activities to avoid having to spend time with them on the weekends. It's not a chore to me to spend time with my family.
Oh, dear, you have misunderstood my post. I spend time w/ my kids all the time, both during the week and on the weekends (while I work full-time, my schedule is flexible and I work a lot from home). My question was about what you do with all this "family time"? Is it just downtime at home? If so, I get that. Or is it something more creative...e.g., going hiking, to the movies, etc.? I honestly don't see how hanging at home w/ your kids where everyone is doing his/her own thing is better quality time than bringing them to games, parties, etc. But maybe during that downtime you are engaging in a special "family" moment like baking, playing games, etc. So, please, tell me what you do during that family time. That's the info I'm looking for.
NP, but our family time is often loose and unstructured because it lends itself to more organic family time, which for me feels like a better way to connect. So I'll be reading a book and DS will be playing with Legos. He'll ask me to come over and look at what he's built, and then he'll wonder how he could add X to it so we'll start digging through his other Legos to find ideas. Or DD will come over and me to play a game with her (not necessarily the whole family, maybe just me), and then we'll end up chatting as we play. When everything is structured and scheduled ("We will go on this family hike from 1-3, and then we will come home and play Monopoly from 4 until 6, then we will have dinner and then we will have all-family movie night"), I think it can be harder for family members to connect one-on-one.
+100000
This is exactly what "family" time on weekends should be like. And yes, it should also include kids being by themselves, whether it's at a park or upstairs playing on their own. You don't have to be actively engaged with your kids constantly, face to face, all members of the same family playing one board game together, kicking one soccer ball together, etc.
+1
We limit our kids to one sport per season so most weekends we have a day "off" for family time, which is mostly unscheduled. Aside for trips to apple orchards, etc.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 12:12
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
We love walking around aimlessly in the neighborhood. We also like going to neighborhood open houses for the fun of it.
The bottom line is we prioritize family time over errands, cleaning the house, etc. Now that my oldest is 5 however, he is able to do some of the chores, so the house isn't the always the wreck that it's been for years.
The bottom line is we prioritize family time over errands, cleaning the house, etc. Now that my oldest is 5 however, he is able to do some of the chores, so the house isn't the always the wreck that it's been for years.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 11:32
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Oh, dear.
Your post reads like you have your kids in activities to avoid having to spend time with them on the weekends. It's not a chore to me to spend time with my family.
Oh, dear, you have misunderstood my post. I spend time w/ my kids all the time, both during the week and on the weekends (while I work full-time, my schedule is flexible and I work a lot from home). My question was about what you do with all this "family time"? Is it just downtime at home? If so, I get that. Or is it something more creative...e.g., going hiking, to the movies, etc.? I honestly don't see how hanging at home w/ your kids where everyone is doing his/her own thing is better quality time than bringing them to games, parties, etc. But maybe during that downtime you are engaging in a special "family" moment like baking, playing games, etc. So, please, tell me what you do during that family time. That's the info I'm looking for.
NP, but our family time is often loose and unstructured because it lends itself to more organic family time, which for me feels like a better way to connect. So I'll be reading a book and DS will be playing with Legos. He'll ask me to come over and look at what he's built, and then he'll wonder how he could add X to it so we'll start digging through his other Legos to find ideas. Or DD will come over and me to play a game with her (not necessarily the whole family, maybe just me), and then we'll end up chatting as we play. When everything is structured and scheduled ("We will go on this family hike from 1-3, and then we will come home and play Monopoly from 4 until 6, then we will have dinner and then we will have all-family movie night"), I think it can be harder for family members to connect one-on-one.
+100000
This is exactly what "family" time on weekends should be like. And yes, it should also include kids being by themselves, whether it's at a park or upstairs playing on their own. You don't have to be actively engaged with your kids constantly, face to face, all members of the same family playing one board game together, kicking one soccer ball together, etc.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 09:36
Subject: Re:how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
We agonized for years over whether to have the third kid and only recently decided for sure to stick with two. This thread makes me glad we did. Sorry, OP, I have no answers because I only have two but I agree you just need to say no to some things or get a sitter.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 08:13
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
"Overscheduled" family parents are the worst. Calm down. Little Billy is not David Beckham.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 08:13
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Some recent things:
Cooking together
Having family and friends over for the meal we've made together (farmers market and breakfast, then cooking)
Going to a museum, zoo, exhibit, park, together
Hiking/biking/taking a long stroll
Buying a new toy and trying it out together (kites, radio controlled plane, croquet set, badminton were a few recent hits)
Kids get to take turns planning something. Yes, we all went to the frozen yogurt place and then out to look at dolls at the "doll store" when it was the 3 year olds turn
The thing all these activities have in common is that we were together, talking to each other and sharing thoughts and ideas wirh each other, enjoying being a family.
Some are even kid led, or can be to whatever degree is appropriate.
That is what people are talking about when they say "family time", and yes, even yard work can be a family activity where you let the kids pick out flowers and where to put them, have them help as appropriate for their age, and then ooh and ahh about what a great job everyone did.
Cooking together
Having family and friends over for the meal we've made together (farmers market and breakfast, then cooking)
Going to a museum, zoo, exhibit, park, together
Hiking/biking/taking a long stroll
Buying a new toy and trying it out together (kites, radio controlled plane, croquet set, badminton were a few recent hits)
Kids get to take turns planning something. Yes, we all went to the frozen yogurt place and then out to look at dolls at the "doll store" when it was the 3 year olds turn
The thing all these activities have in common is that we were together, talking to each other and sharing thoughts and ideas wirh each other, enjoying being a family.
Some are even kid led, or can be to whatever degree is appropriate.
That is what people are talking about when they say "family time", and yes, even yard work can be a family activity where you let the kids pick out flowers and where to put them, have them help as appropriate for their age, and then ooh and ahh about what a great job everyone did.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 08:09
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Oh, dear.
Your post reads like you have your kids in activities to avoid having to spend time with them on the weekends. It's not a chore to me to spend time with my family.
Oh, dear, you have misunderstood my post. I spend time w/ my kids all the time, both during the week and on the weekends (while I work full-time, my schedule is flexible and I work a lot from home). My question was about what you do with all this "family time"? Is it just downtime at home? If so, I get that. Or is it something more creative...e.g., going hiking, to the movies, etc.? I honestly don't see how hanging at home w/ your kids where everyone is doing his/her own thing is better quality time than bringing them to games, parties, etc. But maybe during that downtime you are engaging in a special "family" moment like baking, playing games, etc. So, please, tell me what you do during that family time. That's the info I'm looking for.
NP, but our family time is often loose and unstructured because it lends itself to more organic family time, which for me feels like a better way to connect. So I'll be reading a book and DS will be playing with Legos. He'll ask me to come over and look at what he's built, and then he'll wonder how he could add X to it so we'll start digging through his other Legos to find ideas. Or DD will come over and me to play a game with her (not necessarily the whole family, maybe just me), and then we'll end up chatting as we play. When everything is structured and scheduled ("We will go on this family hike from 1-3, and then we will come home and play Monopoly from 4 until 6, then we will have dinner and then we will have all-family movie night"), I think it can be harder for family members to connect one-on-one.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 08:02
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Oh, dear.
Your post reads like you have your kids in activities to avoid having to spend time with them on the weekends. It's not a chore to me to spend time with my family.
Oh, dear, you have misunderstood my post. I spend time w/ my kids all the time, both during the week and on the weekends (while I work full-time, my schedule is flexible and I work a lot from home). My question was about what you do with all this "family time"? Is it just downtime at home? If so, I get that. Or is it something more creative...e.g., going hiking, to the movies, etc.? I honestly don't see how hanging at home w/ your kids where everyone is doing his/her own thing is better quality time than bringing them to games, parties, etc. But maybe during that downtime you are engaging in a special "family" moment like baking, playing games, etc. So, please, tell me what you do during that family time. That's the info I'm looking for.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 07:58
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Unless the kids are pre-K, you don't have to "come up" with things to do with the kids. There is this thing called unstructured playtime where the kids figure out how to entertain themselves. Children nowadays are constantly entertained or kept busy by someone else. They never have to think for themselves what to do. They have never felt boredom, because there is always mommy and daddy planning "fun stuff" to do.
Weekends are for families to just spend time together, as well as apart doing your own things. Send the kids outside to play and they will figure out what to do.
But how is sending your kids outside to entertain themselves "family time"? It sounds like those people who are so down on the activities are looking for more time to themselves. I'm not saying that's bad, but let's be honest. I get the benefit of letting kids entertain themselves, and my family does that all the time. I was just thrown off by these claims that fewer activities=better family time. If the claim is that fewer activities =more down time for parents to get their errands done, clean the house, read the newspaper, etc. while kids keep themselves busy, then I understand. But that doesn't really sound like "family time" to me.
Anonymous
10/04/2015 07:39
Subject: how do you handle weekend sports and parties with 3 kids? I can't seem to make it work.
Anonymous wrote:Serious question here: what do you all do during this "family time"? Honestly, I like having busy weekends with lots to do. I would hate to have to come up w/ things to do w/ the kids on the weekend.
Oh, dear.
Your post reads like you have your kids in activities to avoid having to spend time with them on the weekends. It's not a chore to me to spend time with my family.