20:22

+1 Totally Agree!

How is posting pictures on FB rude?? If you don't want to see them, stay off FB, unfollow, or unfriend. You can choose what you look at. It's not like pictures are showing up in your mail to taunt you. People are crazy.

One (introduced by OP) is whether circulating pictures of a party others weren't invited to, among the people who weren't invited, is rude.

I don't think it is rude to post the photos on facebook - and I say this as someone who doesn't get invited to many parties (but doesn't particularly desire to either). The things that I post on facebook - mostly stuff about my kids - is intended for the few "friends" who are actually close friends or family, not the random people from the neighborhood that I am casually friendly with.

Anonymous wrote:It's simple. FB is entertainment, not an educational tool or a place to get some high culture. It is entertainment and an outlet for many people who enjoy what it offers, as mind numbing as that may be to some people. It is not mandatory that you belong or participate. If you don't enjoy it or it causes you anxiety or stress then stop staring at it. Unfollow people, unfriend people, or get off it all together. Many people have done so and it does not mean their life is over.

There are two issues in play on this thread, really. One (introduced by OP) is whether circulating pictures of a party others weren't invited to, among the people who weren't invited, is rude. The other (introduced by some respondents) is whether people who are annoyed by what is on FB can simply avoid it.

The answer to the second question is yes, and I don't think anyone here has contested that. It doesn't bear on the first question, though (to which the answer is also yes). So as a response it's a bit of a non sequitur.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it insensitive for parents to keep posting pictures of their daughter with the same small group of friends at the pre and post parties for whatever events are going on - especially in
elementary school? I can only think this must make other parents feel left out and if this behavior continues once the girls get older, it does not set a good tone of being inclusive for the girls in the grade. Please
consider your actions.

As a parent, you should be more emotionally mature than your elementary-aged child, and therefore able to understand that some people form closer friendships and thus spend more time on those people. Then you can help your child navigate the issue in an emotionally healthy way.

Wow some really mean people on these forums. 0P here and I never said that my child or I am personally upset by this. In fact, my child is not even in the same grade as this person. It just struck me as insensitive when I went on Facebook and yet again there is the same mother posting all of these pictures of all these gatherings which invite "some" of the group of friends but leave out others. I don't know what kind of school you go to, but the school where we are really tries encourage inclusivity and I guess this parent didn't get the memo. It's fine to have a little gathering party but why do you have to go on Facebook and let everybody know that you had all these gatherings. We are usually more discreet instead of throwing it in everyone's face. That's all.

So I guess the kids shouldn't talk about it at school, either?

Kids are not inclusive. Everyone isn't friends with everyone. Unless the kids are going to school and saying things like "Ooohhh... we had such a great time. Sorry you missed it.. NOT!" then this shouldn't be a problem. It's real life, especially since social media came around.

If it bothered me to see, I would put that person as an acquaintance (on FB anyway) so I didn't see her posts but didn't go as far as unfriending.

I'm so out of it I don't know what a pre/post party is.

It's simple. FB is entertainment, not an educational tool or a place to get some high culture. It is entertainment and an outlet for many people who enjoy what it offers, as mind numbing as that may be to some people. It is not mandatory that you belong or participate. If you don't enjoy it or it causes you anxiety or stress then stop staring at it. Unfollow people, unfriend people, or get off it all together. Many people have done so and it does not mean their life is over.

Anonymous wrote:

think it is insensitive. My colleagues are my friends (they truly are - I can count on them professionally and personally), but there is definitely a social hierarchy at work and I am definitely not invited to lot of things. When I do hear inadvertently or through a picture on facebook that I wasn't invited, it does sting. Not a lot. I have thick skin. But these facebook posts are inadvertent - a picture of a fire in the backyard of my friend's house with a comment about a perfect night or something. They are not posing kids together and posting them on facebook. And when I am invited to dinner when others in my department are not, I am careful not to post. It is just being kind. Just thinking about others. I could imagine if my child had a best friend or two best friends posting pictures of them on facebook occasionally - but not a pre-party that invited 5 girls and their moms. That does become exclusionary.

Now that I think of it, my child had a birthday where I invited every single five year old in his/her multi-aged class, but not the 4 or 3 year olds. Now I am wondering if I should have been more circumspect about posting the pictures. There have been birthday parties in my child's class that s/he wasn't invited to, bit no pics online of them

nice post

I agree you sound like a nice person - much nicer than the previous poster that told how the whole school cut out a mom that sounds like she could have actually really used a friend.

Anonymous wrote:Come on people, if you eliminated all the people who post pictures of themselves and their kids doing things with other people then you would have no friends. Facebook would not exist, if it were not for post about people's lives and the people who they share it with. A FB page with only pictures of yourself and your family - never any other people included for fear of hurting someone's feelings because they were not invited/included would be a very boring FB page. Imagine, no photos of you or your kids with friends, at games, on playdates, going to a dance, dinners out, vacation, adventures, celebrations, achievement, etc. Just photos of you and your children - no friends ever. Not to mention, what would be the point of tagging?

This opens up a whole new subject but I would hazard this would make for a much more interesting FB.

I for one would love to see a FB where people post in a conversational way about subjects of shared interest, be they literature, art, history, philosophy, or what have you, and really invite others to weigh in, instead of just logging pictures of themselves doing whatever unremarkable thing they did that day.

Which is neither here nor there other than to say that your declaration that FB would be "boring" were it not for the constant oversharing isn't necessarily so. It's pretty boring now.

think it is insensitive. My colleagues are my friends (they truly are - I can count on them professionally and personally), but there is definitely a social hierarchy at work and I am definitely not invited to lot of things. When I do hear inadvertently or through a picture on facebook that I wasn't invited, it does sting. Not a lot. I have thick skin. But these facebook posts are inadvertent - a picture of a fire in the backyard of my friend's house with a comment about a perfect night or something. They are not posing kids together and posting them on facebook. And when I am invited to dinner when others in my department are not, I am careful not to post. It is just being kind. Just thinking about others. I could imagine if my child had a best friend or two best friends posting pictures of them on facebook occasionally - but not a pre-party that invited 5 girls and their moms. That does become exclusionary.

Now that I think of it, my child had a birthday where I invited every single five year old in his/her multi-aged class, but not the 4 or 3 year olds. Now I am wondering if I should have been more circumspect about posting the pictures. There have been birthday parties in my child's class that s/he wasn't invited to, bit no pics online of them

nice post

Most of my friends don't overpost, but the people I know who post eveerrrrything do some stuff like this. I think it is insecurity on the part of the parents who post exclusive events all the freaking time. Otherwise, why else would they do it??? Similar to people who change their profile picture with selfies constantly... insecurity.

I am not an avid facebook/social media user but we get together with friends often. We invite a few people over all the time. We are not deliberately trying to hurt feelings. We just hang out with our friends. I absolutely do not feel bad if others do things without us. Some people are closer than others.

This is what is wrong with social media - oversharing.

Anonymous wrote:Facebook would not exist, if it were not for post about people's lives and the people who they share it with. A FB page with only pictures of yourself and your family - never any other people included for fear of hurting someone's feelings because they were not invited/included would be a very boring FB page. Imagine, no photos of you or your kids with friends, at games, on playdates, going to a dance, dinners out, vacation, adventures, celebrations, achievement, etc. Just photos of you and your children - no friends ever. Not to mention, what would be the point of tagging?

Sounds good!

I think it is insensitive. My colleagues are my friends (they truly are - I can count on them professionally and personally), but there is definitely a social hierarchy at work and I am definitely not invited to lot of things. When I do hear inadvertently or through a picture on facebook that I wasn't invited, it does sting. Not a lot. I have thick skin. But these facebook posts are inadvertent - a picture of a fire in the backyard of my friend's house with a comment about a perfect night or something. They are not posing kids together and posting them on facebook. And when I am invited to dinner when others in my department are not, I am careful not to post. It is just being kind. Just thinking about others. I could imagine if my child had a best friend or two best friends posting pictures of them on facebook occasionally - but not a pre-party that invited 5 girls and their moms. That does become exclusionary.

Now that I think of it, my child had a birthday where I invited every single five year old in his/her multi-aged class, but not the 4 or 3 year olds. Now I am wondering if I should have been more circumspect about posting the pictures. There have been birthday parties in my child's class that s/he wasn't invited to, bit no pics online of them.

Come on people, if you eliminated all the people who post pictures of themselves and their kids doing things with other people then you would have no friends. Facebook would not exist, if it were not for post about people's lives and the people who they share it with. A FB page with only pictures of yourself and your family - never any other people included for fear of hurting someone's feelings because they were not invited/included would be a very boring FB page. Imagine, no photos of you or your kids with friends, at games, on playdates, going to a dance, dinners out, vacation, adventures, celebrations, achievement, etc. Just photos of you and your children - no friends ever. Not to mention, what would be the point of tagging?