I wasn't 40, and she wasn't in her 20's, but when I was in my early 30's, I was spending a fair amount of time at the UMD library. (I was finishing up a PhD at a different school). I briefly dated a girl/young woman. We never talked about age -- she was a student and I was a student (who was also working full time making decent money); she was studying to be in the same field I was in.

We "dated" for about a month. It ended when I met her parents and realized they we only a few years older than me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These younger women/older man pairings work because 1) the woman has some kind of daddy issue and/or 2) they want economic security.

The younger chicks always have a back up plan, which is divorce the geezer and take half his loot, or just cheat.

I think a lot of the women THINK they can do it. The idea of being debt free, economic security, not having to worry about finances- it seems like it's worth it.

And then they have to sleep underneath a flabby-skinned 50 year old day in day out.

And the smooth skinned, ripped but broke pool boy gains a new appreciation.

And, I don't blame them. Sex with a guy in his early 20s is hot, on a purely aesthetic value.

I'm laughing at the idea that ALL 40-50 year old men are flabby, wrinkly, bags of fat and ALL 20 something year old men are ripped and hard and sexy. Lotta 20something year old guys running around with premature Dad Bod or that pale sickly pallor one gets when they sit inside all the time and don't do anything physically active or venture outdoors unless absolutely necessary.

I married a man who was older than I am because I appreciated that I could have an interesting, challenging conversation with him. I had a string of boyfriends in college who were painful to talk to. I said once that Dean Koontz was the poor man's Stephen King and the boyfriend I was with at the time said "No, their books are the same price."

As for aging- it happens to all of us. It's easy to say you're aging at the same pace when you're 32-35. Some people are robust well into old age and some start to experience catastrophic health issues at a devastatingly young age. I have a friend from college who knows a couple where the father was recently widowed with two children under two because his wife died of aggressive breast cancer. She was THIRTY. Saying "I cannot conceive of entertaining the notion of having a relationship with anyone more than 5 years older than me because if my spouse is within 5 years of my age we will age similarly and I will never have to care for them or be alone" is just... dumb. If my husband goes downhill at 75 and I'm 60, guess what- I'll take care of him, the same way I hope he would if I were to develop aggressive breast cancer this year. And if I'm widowed at 65, I guess I'll live, the way lots of widows and widowers do when their spouses passes years before them.

Anonymous wrote:As a 40yr old woman with a sex drive of a 17yrs old teen boy, I would be so unhappy being married to a man in his 50s with a soft dick in need of Viagra. I think that would call for a 35yr old side piece.

35 year old side piece? More like 25 year old, for me at least...

As a 40yr old woman with a sex drive of a 17yrs old teen boy, I would be so unhappy being married to a man in his 50s with a soft dick in need of Viagra. I think that would call for a 35yr old side piece.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

What's a nice try is trying to act like there are 20 something women lined up to date older men. Maybe in your fantasies... but not the real world! LOL.

No one suggested that this was the case.

I realize now that I am talking to someone who may be legitimately mentally ill, so I am going to bail.

If you are not in therapy, you should consider it. I mean that in the nicest, non-snarkiest way, possible.

Peace.

Ahahaha.

I'm trying to understand the fragile emotional state of someone who is so distressed by someone calmly disagreeing with them that they would suggest that person get therapy...

Really dude? I think you should take your own advice. And maybe a nice long break from DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

What's a nice try is trying to act like there are 20 something women lined up to date older men. Maybe in your fantasies... but not the real world! LOL.

No one suggested that this was the case.

I realize now that I am talking to someone who may be legitimately mentally ill, so I am going to bail.

If you are not in therapy, you should consider it. I mean that in the nicest, non-snarkiest way, possible.

Peace.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

What's a nice try is trying to act like there are 20 something women lined up to date older men. Maybe in your fantasies... but not the real world! LOL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

Oh please. And every guy is lying? Come on. Have you never heard of guys moaning on about being "friendzoned" by girls that dont want to date them or be their GF? If not, consider yourself lucky.

And I don't think it's that much less common. And it's happening more and more nowadays than it ever has...

"Friendzoned" is commonly understood to refer to a relationship that does not include sex. You just undermined your own point.

My father is 55 and dating a 32 year old. I'm 35 ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

Oh please. And every guy is lying? Come on. Have you never heard of guys moaning on about being "friendzoned" by girls that dont want to date them or be their GF? If not, consider yourself lucky.

And I don't think it's that much less common. And it's happening more and more nowadays than it ever has...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These younger women/older man pairings work because 1) the woman has some kind of daddy issue and/or 2) they want economic security.

The younger chicks always have a back up plan, which is divorce the geezer and take half his loot, or just cheat.

I think a lot of the women THINK they can do it. The idea of being debt free, economic security, not having to worry about finances- it seems like it's worth it.

And then they have to sleep underneath a flabby-skinned 50 year old day in day out.

And the smooth skinned, ripped but broke pool boy gains a new appreciation.

And, I don't blame them. Sex with a guy in his early 20s is hot, on a purely aesthetic value.

You keep comparing "ripped" young guys to "flabby" old guys. A lot of young guys are not ripped, or even in good shape. Obviously, there are even fewer fit men in their 40s, who qualify as being "ripped," or in great shape, but they do exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

I have 1 or 2 friends like this, it can work, I think. One couple has been together for 10 years.