Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Men don't stay perpetually horny forever.

I'm a DH in the 2nd half of my 40s. We have a 3 month old and went through this kind of thing just about a year ago. DW is a decade younger, but I still had the higher drive when we first got together and for the first part of our marriage. At this point in life, my drive is not what it was up until I hit the big 40: always ready, any time. Now I might actually require some coaxing. When we got into "conception sex" it felt a lot like duty/on-demand-performance, and that pressure to perform made the whole arousal process more difficult. I have talked to buddies who had their kids a decade (or more) earlier, and reported the same feelings about conception sex. It can be unsexy in execution and business-like, and while men are supposed to be the 'ready to go at any time' horndogs of relationships, this isn't universally true, particularly after middle age. The pregnancy was difficult so we made only two attempts at sex (failed!) during the pregnancy, but we have bounced back nicely (2x/week) since she got her IUD 6 weeks post partum, so there is hope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fertility problems definitely can kill a man's desire for his wife.

I had to LOL about sex drive slowing down in one's 30s. We were 31 and 33 when we got married twenty years ago and we're still as horny as ever

You got married at 11 & 13??

Seriously? It’s basic 1st grade math. They are now 51 and 53.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: my guess is that you are significantly underestimating how much your DH is unhappy about your frequency of sex. I was in a similar boat, and became somewhat resentful about my DW's much-increased interest in having sex during TTC periods as compared to our rather lackluster baseline. It just kind of puts it in your face to see her aggressively take the initiative to have sex in order to conceive, as compared to the general lack of interest.

+1

I had a kind of retroactive version of this. After the kids were born and my wife stopped being interested in sex more than once a month, I got resentful when I recalled how she could manage to initiate sex frequently when we were trying to conceive kid #2. The resentment didn't set it when kid #2 was an infant -- this was when kid #2 was 4 or 5 years old. In light of her efforts to conceive kid #2 -- despite all the stresses of caring for a toddler at that time -- when she was uninterested in sex later, it was clear that it was a matter of "don't want to" on her part rather than "can't."

Anonymous wrote:DH here: my guess is that you are significantly underestimating how much your DH is unhappy about your frequency of sex. I was in a similar boat, and became somewhat resentful about my DW's much-increased interest in having sex during TTC periods as compared to our rather lackluster baseline. It just kind of puts it in your face to see her aggressively take the initiative to have sex in order to conceive, as compared to the general lack of interest.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Fertility problems definitely can kill a man's desire for his wife.

I had to LOL about sex drive slowing down in one's 30s. We were 31 and 33 when we got married twenty years ago and we're still as horny as ever

You got married at 11 & 13??

Fertility problems definitely can kill a man's desire for his wife.

I had to LOL about sex drive slowing down in one's 30s. We were 31 and 33 when we got married twenty years ago and we're still as horny as ever

Don't worry OP. Sounds normal. When my husband and I were TTC, after a few months of no success I became a schedule nut about having sex. My usually very high drive husband admitted it was exhausting and it had become more like a chore. There's nothing wrong with you or your husband.

OP - I won't reject you.