I haven't read all the other posts, but it's an age difference thing. How old is your DH? Mine is ten years older than his sister. His parents are kind and loving and certainly generous (they buy my DD presents, they give us nice enough christmas presents, etc...) but they SPOIL THE SHIT out of my similar aged SIL. It's because MIL was 40+ when she had her, she was unexpected and a very happy surprise, and of course daddy's little girl. They buy her everything she wants, supported her through college and grad school (did not do so for DH who was done with school by the time SIL started) and buy her gifts that cost like 5x combined what they give our little family of 3, so yeah, it's infuriating!! But we live with it and you're going to have to live with it, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pity her that she can't function as an adult and is basically a leech.

This, OP.
And pity the man she marries, and their future kids/family life because of you think that those things they bought don't come with strings attached, sit back and watch the show. This is the typical set up for overbearing MIL, too much criticism and input on your parenting, forced vacations, forced visits, and drama.
You will be able to gracefully bow out of the 10 day vacation in a 2 bedroom condo with age inappropriate outings without a care. Your SIL will be dragging a fuming husband and crying kids because they paid for the down payment on their first house and she can't say no.
They will also live with her in their old age since they help with mortgage and put that brand new sun porch on.

Feel better?!

+1 It should be no surprise to them when their son is not willing to wipe their asses in their old age.

I get it, OP. It's not about the money per se. It's hard to see someone you love treated unfairly and have it rubbed in his face. It's just cruel on all accounts. It sounds like he's come to terms with it and knows things won't change. It's difficult, but you'll have to do the same, or it will drive you crazy.

+1

OP said she doesn't see or talk to her own family...probably because either she or they are nasty and awful (probably both.) Is it any wonder she can't figure out how families work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pity her that she can't function as an adult and is basically a leech.

This, OP.
And pity the man she marries, and their future kids/family life because of you think that those things they bought don't come with strings attached, sit back and watch the show. This is the typical set up for overbearing MIL, too much criticism and input on your parenting, forced vacations, forced visits, and drama.
You will be able to gracefully bow out of the 10 day vacation in a 2 bedroom condo with age inappropriate outings without a care. Your SIL will be dragging a fuming husband and crying kids because they paid for the down payment on their first house and she can't say no.
They will also live with her in their old age since they help with mortgage and put that brand new sun porch on.

Feel better?!

+1 It should be no surprise to them when their son is not willing to wipe their asses in their old age.

I get it, OP. It's not about the money per se. It's hard to see someone you love treated unfairly and have it rubbed in his face. It's just cruel on all accounts. It sounds like he's come to terms with it and knows things won't change. It's difficult, but you'll have to do the same, or it will drive you crazy.