Anonymous
Post 08/12/2015 17:21     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When we travel to our parents or siblings homes we bring our dog and they bring theirs. Same with out friends. I'm not sure id be offended but I probably wouldn't be able to visit if they didn't allow our dog. We do plan trips around the dog. Probably not what you want to hear. But I know we aren't unique.

We don't have children and we allow friends to bring theirs when they stay overnight. A toddler is insanely destructive but we couldn't really say no.


Why couldn't you visit without your dog?


We can't afford $40 a day for boarding, especially when it's our family who wants us to visit more. Our dog also has issues (seizures, etc) and gets very ill from being boarded. We have had a pet sitter come to our house, but it's even pricier.

We take the dog on "trips" but leave him with relatives (who live 2 hours away) for our 2 week vacation every year.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2015 17:17     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
We have the easiest dog in the world and we love him as a family member. He's a certified therapy dog who is safe to visit hospitalized children and disoriented Alzheimer's patients, which I take him to do regularly. He is housebroken, doesn't bark, jump, or bite, is beloved by everyone who meets him, and will stay in a sit-stay away from non-dog people for as long as asked.

AND I would still never, EVER presume that he was welcome to someone else's house. When we receive an invite, if the person is close enough to us or I know they have their own dog or love dogs, I'll ask whether the invitation extends to my dog, reassuring them in the same breath that I completely understand if not.

Comparisons to kids just don't work, and that is not an insult to dogs. It's just life.

Sincerely, someone who refuses to be pigeon-holed as a crazy dog lady only because I am also a crazy cat lady, crazy horse lady, and general-purpose crazy lady.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2015 00:32     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:When we travel to our parents or siblings homes we bring our dog and they bring theirs. Same with out friends. I'm not sure id be offended but I probably wouldn't be able to visit if they didn't allow our dog. We do plan trips around the dog. Probably not what you want to hear. But I know we aren't unique.

We don't have children and we allow friends to bring theirs when they stay overnight. A toddler is insanely destructive but we couldn't really say no.


Why couldn't you visit without your dog?
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2015 00:31     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
We are dog owners. I don't think it's rude to let them know the dogs aren't welcome. Just give them plenty of time to arrange boarding. Most places book several weeks in advance (or more, if a holiday weekend). The only time we had trouble was when my inlaws decided last minute that they have a new no-dogs rule at their vacation home. We had about a week's notice for 4th of July weekend. We wound up boarding our dog at the only available place we could find, which was available because it was a shit hole. I second guessed myself, and felt worried and anxious the whole weekend (dh insisted it would be fine, and it was ok, but we'll never board there again).

Also, your inlaws not only need extra planning to make sure their dogs are up to date on vaccinations, but some boarders require dogs to have been vaccinated a certain amount of time before allowing them to stay.

Otherwise, just let them make their own arrangements (hotel/kennel/dog sitter) how they see fit. You really don't need to feel guilty about saying no to the dogs.



Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 22:56     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dog is my child. Our relationship is unhealthy and codependent. I want her with me at all times. I would bring her to work if I could. She takes up a huge amount of my day and I love it. She's sleeps with me under the covers and her head on my pillow. She's on all furniture. Nothing in my home is off limits to her.
I have issues.

And I am telling you there is nothing wrong with wanting a dog free home. Your IL's should really respect that. Especially if they are big, furry, and unruly.

I am a seriously crazy dog lady. I am saying your feelings are reasonable and valid. Your IL's need to board their babies.[/quote


Your dog sounds adorable.


Both pp and her dog sound adorable!
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 22:37     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
I'm a dog LOVER but you aren't being rude at ALL! I would never bring my dog to someone else's house - even family. I also lock my dog away when my young children have play dates at our house. My dog is sweet and great with children but that's not the point. I understand that not everyone likes dogs and many children are afraid. I wouldn't push my dog on anyone. Simply tell them you'd prefer if they don't bring the dogs. If they get upset, they are the rude ones.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 22:14     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:We have never boarded our dog and never plan to. If a family member told us we could not bring our dog with us to visit I would completely understand, but we also wouldn't visit.


We did when necessary, until he couldn't have vaccines on the vet's advice. For a while we had friends who would take him. We traded dog sitting. When the friends moved and that was no longer an option, he came with us. If he couldn't then we didn't go. It was a decision we made and not because we were upset with anyone. We couldn't just leave him.

OP it's your house. If you don't want the dogs - no dogs.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 21:55     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Op, when you use "excuses" you have these kind of problems. Man-up (ideally your husband. They are his parents) and speak the truth - say it once - and don't entertain "why", or back-n-forth conversation.

Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 21:50     Subject: Re:family visiting with dogs
I am a huge animal lover and no way in hell would I bring my pets to a house that 1. had a newborn, 2, had no pets...I get it, and 3. were not invited. They are being rude. Tell them the baby has allergies.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 13:52     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have never boarded our dog and never plan to. If a family member told us we could not bring our dog with us to visit I would completely understand, but we also wouldn't visit.


Yes. Boarding is pretty inhumane. My dog has come home numerous times so doped up on Benadryl that he can't walk. I just can't do it to him anymore as he's older now.

Just say no OP. You may burn a bridge, but at least you won't have the dog staying with you.


You are ridiculous, boarding is not inhumane. I've boarded my dogs at numerous facilities and they have NEVER been drugged and have a great time every time. What kind of cut rate, $5 a day facility were you using?


Just FYI- it's kind of a pain, but I drive my dog about an hour and a half out of the DC area for boarding. That's where you need to be to cut back on expense+ get quality facility and care. I basically drive to Kings Dominion. It's under 30 dollars a day and it like a resort/ camp. Veterinary care is on staff. I recommend looking into more rural areas that have the space for dogs to really run, play and swim ( if so inclined).
- I'm the crazy lady from up thread.


I'm the PP you responded to and we do something similar. When visiting family, we bring the dogs with and board them nearby as boarding near family is SO MUCH CHEAPER than boarding in DC. I've used many different boarding facilities, some swanky hoity toity places, some basic vet onsite boarding and I have never, ever had a dog drugged by those facilities so I just can't imagine what kind of service the PP I quoted is using that they would think drugging a dog is appropriate.



That's a great tip!
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 13:40     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:Question for those who are dog lovers -- and maybe those, who, like me, are not:

My inlaws have two large & extremely furry dogs (to the point where they have to vacuum their house every day!). Inlaws live a day's drive away, and like to take the dogs with them on road trips. I'm not a fan of dogs in general, and in particular, these dogs are wild and hairy - I don't want them to stay with us. We also have a newborn, and I'm really not loving the idea of the dogs being around her.

When my husband and I lived in a condo, we told them there just wasn't space for the dogs to accompany them on visits (which was true, but inlaws were still upset to the point of MIL being tearful at being told dogs could not stay). We recently moved to a house, and the excuse of not having space isn't there anymore. But, I still don't want the dogs to visit.

I know I'm within my rights (and husband is on board) to say no to dogs visiting, but question for dog lovers -- is this just rude? I would be really unhappy having these dogs stay with us. But am I being inflexible by having inlaws pay for boarding of the dogs? Or (ideally) staying not with us but in a pet friendly hotel near by?

Suggestions on how to handle with minimal hurt feelings?




I have a large German Shepherd who I take on vacations. If a family member says "No," I just board her. It's fine. Just say "no."
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 13:38     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:I consider my dog family and while it would hurt to hear he wasn't invited (especially to a close family members house) I'd stop pushing if they gave me a firm no. I think you only need to have this conversation once. Don't say why the dogs aren't allowed, just say they can't come to your house.
I consider my dogs family, too, but I would completely understand if you didn't want my dogs to come. That said, we never take the dogs with us on vacation anyway. We leave them at home with a dogsitter. In our neighborhood, I feel better with someone staying at our house with dogs. Reduces the chances of break-ins.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 13:32     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have never boarded our dog and never plan to. If a family member told us we could not bring our dog with us to visit I would completely understand, but we also wouldn't visit.


Yes. Boarding is pretty inhumane. My dog has come home numerous times so doped up on Benadryl that he can't walk. I just can't do it to him anymore as he's older now.

Just say no OP. You may burn a bridge, but at least you won't have the dog staying with you.


You are ridiculous, boarding is not inhumane. I've boarded my dogs at numerous facilities and they have NEVER been drugged and have a great time every time. What kind of cut rate, $5 a day facility were you using?


Just FYI- it's kind of a pain, but I drive my dog about an hour and a half out of the DC area for boarding. That's where you need to be to cut back on expense+ get quality facility and care. I basically drive to Kings Dominion. It's under 30 dollars a day and it like a resort/ camp. Veterinary care is on staff. I recommend looking into more rural areas that have the space for dogs to really run, play and swim ( if so inclined).
- I'm the crazy lady from up thread.


I'm the PP you responded to and we do something similar. When visiting family, we bring the dogs with and board them nearby as boarding near family is SO MUCH CHEAPER than boarding in DC. I've used many different boarding facilities, some swanky hoity toity places, some basic vet onsite boarding and I have never, ever had a dog drugged by those facilities so I just can't imagine what kind of service the PP I quoted is using that they would think drugging a dog is appropriate.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 13:10     Subject: family visiting with dogs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have never boarded our dog and never plan to. If a family member told us we could not bring our dog with us to visit I would completely understand, but we also wouldn't visit.


Yes. Boarding is pretty inhumane. My dog has come home numerous times so doped up on Benadryl that he can't walk. I just can't do it to him anymore as he's older now.

Just say no OP. You may burn a bridge, but at least you won't have the dog staying with you.


You are ridiculous, boarding is not inhumane. I've boarded my dogs at numerous facilities and they have NEVER been drugged and have a great time every time. What kind of cut rate, $5 a day facility were you using?


Just FYI- it's kind of a pain, but I drive my dog about an hour and a half out of the DC area for boarding. That's where you need to be to cut back on expense+ get quality facility and care. I basically drive to Kings Dominion. It's under 30 dollars a day and it like a resort/ camp. Veterinary care is on staff. I recommend looking into more rural areas that have the space for dogs to really run, play and swim ( if so inclined).
- I'm the crazy lady from up thread.
Anonymous
Post 08/11/2015 12:58     Subject: family visiting with dogs
I think people who insist on bringing their dogs are really going for my dog = your child. Why else would they insist on bringing the dog to a home with a new baby when it is clear the mom is uncomfortable with it ?
Boarding a dog is NOTHING like the expenses of having a child.