Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

And, regardless of what people in these threads love to claim, I'm a WOHM who is not jealous at all of SAHMs. I didn't go to a top school and then get an MBA in finance to be a maid/personal assistant, and I wouldn't put myself in a position (e.g., marrying someone super-ambitious) where there would be so much pressure for me to take on that role.

I am not an MBA and am okay to be the support person (personal assistant/maid is another way to say it!) for my DH. But you make a damn good point about choosing to marry someone less ambitious. I see ambition as an important, desirable quality but i might advise my daughters to be wary of getting forced into a certain role as you describe. While I was not "forced" this was because I was willing - had I been more ambitious career wise we would have had a BIG problem. we did, however, have lots of problems that stemmed from an unbalanced relationship.

Only in men? Seriously question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

And, regardless of what people in these threads love to claim, I'm a WOHM who is not jealous at all of SAHMs. I didn't go to a top school and then get an MBA in finance to be a maid/personal assistant, and I wouldn't put myself in a position (e.g., marrying someone super-ambitious) where there would be so much pressure for me to take on that role.

I was super ambitious in my career- but I'm also super ambitious as a mother. Being an involved parent was and is critical to ms- I didn't have kids to outsource their care. I am a stay at home MOM, not a stay at home wife. It's so interesting to me that you focus on being a maid/ personal assistant and completely miss the hours of 1:1 (or, in my case 1:3) time that I get with my kids each day. THAT is why I sta home. To be present for their infancy, toddlerhood and childhood. I'm not their maid, I'm their mom. And I love it. Sorry they didn't make your shortlist when you think about staying home.

I hate to say this but you also have some obligation to be a partner to your husband - he contributes financially, you also need to contribute to the household in some way. Just because you are a super involved hands-on parent doesn't mean you are not also a wife! I am not saying that all of the housework should fall on you (of course both of you are responsible for this) but c'mon your attitude is not cool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

And, regardless of what people in these threads love to claim, I'm a WOHM who is not jealous at all of SAHMs. I didn't go to a top school and then get an MBA in finance to be a maid/personal assistant, and I wouldn't put myself in a position (e.g., marrying someone super-ambitious) where there would be so much pressure for me to take on that role.

I was super ambitious in my career- but I'm also super ambitious as a mother. Being an involved parent was and is critical to ms- I didn't have kids to outsource their care. I am a stay at home MOM, not a stay at home wife. It's so interesting to me that you focus on being a maid/ personal assistant and completely miss the hours of 1:1 (or, in my case 1:3) time that I get with my kids each day. THAT is why I sta home. To be present for their infancy, toddlerhood and childhood. I'm not their maid, I'm their mom. And I love it. Sorry they didn't make your shortlist when you think about staying home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.

Actually, you're the one failing. I have no need to work. And it doesn't take long to count to zero.

Still can't read, huh? If you love your job so much, what are you doing on DCUM shitting on SAHMs? Do you see Bill Gates down at the local welfare office shitting on poor people? When you have something worth having and feel good all day, you don't go around being a bitch. This is from me, another working mom, to you (but without any love).

You sound unhinged.

You both sound horrible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

And, regardless of what people in these threads love to claim, I'm a WOHM who is not jealous at all of SAHMs. I didn't go to a top school and then get an MBA in finance to be a maid/personal assistant, and I wouldn't put myself in a position (e.g., marrying someone super-ambitious) where there would be so much pressure for me to take on that role.

I am not an MBA and am okay to be the support person (personal assistant/maid is another way to say it!) for my DH. But you make a damn good point about choosing to marry someone less ambitious. I see ambition as an important, desirable quality but i might advise my daughters to be wary of getting forced into a certain role as you describe. While I was not "forced" this was because I was willing - had I been more ambitious career wise we would have had a BIG problem. we did, however, have lots of problems that stemmed from an unbalanced relationship.

Not surprised to see that this thread got derailed almost immediately by the usual haters.
I get that people have opinions. And they are not always kind. But it is always interesting to hear different perspectives.
When i was a SAHM (for nearly 13 years, 4 kids, high earning husband, etc) , i often second-guessed myself and my feelings. I wondered how it worked for other people. I really wanted to know things just like OP wants to know, the same sort of stuff. I always asked friends and acquaintances about their experiences, feelings, etc as a SAHM.
I wondered how the dynamics were differed in households where both parents WOH.
I think these are fair questions and maybe not the most appropriate forum for the slams and the harsh criticisms. This should be a safe place to ask such questions. As i mentioned it is interesting to hear all perspectives but sometimes the haters need to take a break so the rest of us can talk!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

And, regardless of what people in these threads love to claim, I'm a WOHM who is not jealous at all of SAHMs. I didn't go to a top school and then get an MBA in finance to be a maid/personal assistant, and I wouldn't put myself in a position (e.g., marrying someone super-ambitious) where there would be so much pressure for me to take on that role.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

My husband is super frugal and freaks out about my spending.
So this way works for me. We've been doing this since year 2. Its personal, he can't complain about what I spend it on. Pedicures, expensive purses, yada yada, save it or spend it as it comes in its mine to do with as I please.

Haircuts pedicures and designers purses? Are you some kind of stepford cliche?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.

Actually, you're the one failing. I have no need to work. And it doesn't take long to count to zero.

Still can't read, huh? If you love your job so much, what are you doing on DCUM shitting on SAHMs? Do you see Bill Gates down at the local welfare office shitting on poor people? When you have something worth having and feel good all day, you don't go around being a bitch. This is from me, another working mom, to you (but without any love).

Why are poor people being equivocal to sahm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.

Actually, you're the one failing. I have no need to work. And it doesn't take long to count to zero.

Still can't read, huh? If you love your job so much, what are you doing on DCUM shitting on SAHMs? Do you see Bill Gates down at the local welfare office shitting on poor people? When you have something worth having and feel good all day, you don't go around being a bitch. This is from me, another working mom, to you (but without any love).

You sound unhinged.

I think most of the posters here are questioning their own choices in some way and are trying to justify their choice/ necessity to themselves by posting the comments on this board.

Anonymous wrote:I handle all of the money. He has no idea how much I spend, nor does he care as long as our overall net worth increases as discussed.

I handle all cooking, shopping, kid stuff, doctors appts, etc.

He offers to help and asks me what needs to be done inside the house. Have a house cleaner who comes every other week.

He handles the outside, usually by hiring it out. But sometimes he will do some things like trimming trees, etc. We have someone who comes weekly to mow/edge.

When he is home, we split childcare 50/50.

We have a part-time nanny for about 18 hrs/week so I can spend one-on-one time with each child and do things like go to the dentist, get my hair colored or exercise.

This post sounds like our household, sans the nanny because kids are old enough to stay home by themselves. I do all of the finances and DH never questions what I spend. However, I'm not a big shopper, so my spending isn't crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.

Actually, you're the one failing. I have no need to work. And it doesn't take long to count to zero.

Still can't read, huh? If you love your job so much, what are you doing on DCUM shitting on SAHMs? Do you see Bill Gates down at the local welfare office shitting on poor people? When you have something worth having and feel good all day, you don't go around being a bitch. This is from me, another working mom, to you (but without any love).

You sound unhinged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.

Actually, you're the one failing. I have no need to work. And it doesn't take long to count to zero.

Still can't read, huh? If you love your job so much, what are you doing on DCUM shitting on SAHMs? Do you see Bill Gates down at the local welfare office shitting on poor people? When you have something worth having and feel good all day, you don't go around being a bitch. This is from me, another working mom, to you (but without any love).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.

Actually, you're the one failing. I have no need to work. And it doesn't take long to count to zero.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The envy that some working moms display in every thread pertaining to stay at homes is just embarrassing. I work a big law job with shitty hours, but I don't resent women who stay home enjoying their husbands' money and taking care of their children. It is not stay at home moms' fault that being a working mom sucks so badly from absolutely hostile work environments to ridiculous child care costs. I fully admit that I love having my own money, but hate being away from my kids and actually hate my job and coworkers too. I hear other working moms claiming to love working so much, but if you were having such a good time, you wouldn't be so bitter towards stay at homes.

I love my job, love my coworkers, and my kids are thriving. I'm sorry your job sucks, but not every working parent is miserable.

Reading comprehension fail. The point is that all this shitting on SAHMs is naked envy. Get your ass to work and stop counting SAHMs' money.