Anonymous wrote:Many (most?) men see women as objects put on earth to meet their sexual desires and serve them in other ways. Women are not seen as equals. I think most men cheat or, if they don't, would take the opportunity if presented.

These kind of men are pathetic and get a wake up call during marriage when the woman decides it's not all about him. The kids and other things should come before some selfish aholes penis. If more people put their families first there wouldn't be all the screwed up unhappy kids in the world.

Anonymous wrote:Incapable? No. Some choose not to be faithful. It is a choice.

Every behavior is a choice. There's no excuses.

Many (most?) men see women as objects put on earth to meet their sexual desires and serve them in other ways. Women are not seen as equals. I think most men cheat or, if they don't, would take the opportunity if presented.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My wife refused to have sex with me for three years. She once told me that it must be hard not to have sex. Previously she had an text/online affair with a co worker with whom she exchanged very explicit emails. She never talks dirty to me. kids are 5 and 3. Now we have sex once in two months. Before I got married I had many sex partners, my libido is high. I help around the house, give her emotional support, etc. I talked to her about sex but she threatened to take the kids from me if I cheat. I won't be able to be faithful to her for too long if our situation does not change. She thinks it's my fault that I want to have sex.



That's not really what this thread is about.

Why not - Because it doesn't fit your dogma?? This man presents his real life dilemma and all you can say is GTFO?

Why does she say she won't have sex with you? And isn't it hard for HER not to have sex?

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that I was incapable of being faithful until I met my husband. We've been together almost 8 years, and I've never been tempted to even look at another man. This is totally new to me. He satisfies me in a way that no one else ever has. So, if I am capable of change, and I was a serial cheater, I see no reason why a man cannot do the same.

I agree. I've only been with one man who completely satisfied me in bed; too bad he wasn't a candidate for a long term relationship. Sigh.

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there is a correlation between being a cheater and being good in bed?

No

Anonymous wrote:I don't know many men who have been faithful, at least the handsome charming men all seem to cheat at some point. I think it would shock women if they knew how often infidelity happens.

I am not sure if I am capable of being faithful. I have never been faithful, not completely. When my wife and I are having a lot of sex, I really don't think of other women that much. The sex dries up, like it always does, and other women become near obsession for me.

Maybe if I married a woman with a high sex drive. No idea where to find those. Every woman has a high drive in the beginning. Wait 3 years.

I am a woman with a high sex drive. There would be other relationship problems, I'm sure.

Nobody is incapable of being faithful.

For some people it may be harder than others, but ultimately everyone has a choice.

Incapable? No. Some choose not to be faithful. It is a choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are instances where moral factors influence fidelity but in most cases - for men and women - it is the fear of the consequences if found out that limits infidelity.

+2 This, plus logistics, is why I don't cheat. Too risky.

Sounds like we are all cheaters at heart. I mean ... if the only reason you don't cheat is because your wife/husband might find out isn't a very strong argument that you have morals. Not judging, just saying.

Duh! Our species evolved with everybody f'ing everybody whenever they could. That's what drove natural selection. Monogamy is a societal construct only recently (in evolutionary terms) imposed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are instances where moral factors influence fidelity but in most cases - for men and women - it is the fear of the consequences if found out that limits infidelity.

+2 This, plus logistics, is why I don't cheat. Too risky.

Sounds like we are all cheaters at heart. I mean ... if the only reason you don't cheat is because your wife/husband might find out isn't a very strong argument that you have morals. Not judging, just saying.

Every single man wants to have sex with other women, and that is true throughout their lives. It's how men are wired. If they are married to a woman that can channel and drain that sexual energy, it's possible to remain faithful. If the sex dries up at home, men will cheat, assuming they have options.

Men aren't wired for monogamy. I don't think women are either, but some women's sex drive just dies when they are sexually bored.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are instances where moral factors influence fidelity but in most cases - for men and women - it is the fear of the consequences if found out that limits infidelity.

+2 This, plus logistics, is why I don't cheat. Too risky.

Sounds like we are all cheaters at heart. I mean ... if the only reason you don't cheat is because your wife/husband might find out isn't a very strong argument that you have morals. Not judging, just saying.

Anonymous wrote:There are instances where moral factors influence fidelity but in most cases - for men and women - it is the fear of the consequences if found out that limits infidelity.

+2 This, plus logistics, is why I don't cheat. Too risky.

Yes, 100%

Met a man "madly" in love, about to get married that makes the decision to go on a road trip with a women he used to sleep with...terrible judgement. I think some people put themselves in risky situations.

Some men are incapable of being faithful. Overall, men tend to have coping strategies that focus outward. Like, if they feel a void in themselves or their lives, they look around for someone to fill it. Same thing when they have anger, self-esteem, and stress issues, they'll usually lash out at someone rather than turn it inward.

And if you come from a culture or family where the men are noted for cheating, you're more likely to see it as an option and entitlement for yourself.

Entitlement is rampant among men, and it makes you think you should be able to have a lot of things and get away with a lot, and that overrides the rights and needs of your partner. Just because.

Put all this with testosterone, and it's a miracle all men aren't constantly cheating.