Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 13:16     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.


How ugly of you. How about she gave up her career to raise her child/ren and support them.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 13:15     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
OP, trying to sidestep the SAHM/WOHM debate here. I might tend to give an internship to someone fresh out of school over a workforce returnee, but not because I dislike SAHMs (my own mom was one and she was awesome.)

But truthfully, I've found hiring someone who really believes that they should be in a higher position is almost always a recipe for trouble. Even if the candidate is super eager, and really wants to get a foot in the door, the tendency is that it doesn't last long. Inevitably a few months in they become resentful and unwilling to do the unglamorous work they were hired for.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 13:12     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.


^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?


Uh, hardly. I'm a (female, with young kids) hiring manager who would never pass up a motivated young recent grad for someone who quit voluntarily and is now out of the game. Harsh but true. Based on OP's post I'm not alone.


+1

Sorry. I want the young and hungry kid who is going to bust their ass to get ahead, not someone who thinks that being a room mom makes up for a 13 year absence from the workforce. I'm a working mom.


It was obvious you were a working mom.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 12:55     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.


^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?


Uh, hardly. I'm a (female, with young kids) hiring manager who would never pass up a motivated young recent grad for someone who quit voluntarily and is now out of the game. Harsh but true. Based on OP's post I'm not alone.


+1

Sorry. I want the young and hungry kid who is going to bust their ass to get ahead, not someone who thinks that being a room mom makes up for a 13 year absence from the workforce. I'm a working mom.

Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 12:51     Subject: Re:It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:As someone who just finished working with a group of kids right out of college let me say that it will be a while before many of them are ready to take on any type of leadership role. Many (not all) are entitled, think everything should be dropped in their lap, and they give up too easily. They also don't like to listen to advice about how to self-correct when they are heading into the danger zone. Quite are few are awful at communication: They wear their emotions on their sleeve, they don't speak with respect (saying "what" instead of excuse me I didn't hear you, pardon, or can you please repeat that), and not speaking/acknowledging you when they see you. I read something recently that said parents remember that when you are done raising your kids remember they still have to go out into the world. The "real" world might not tolerate the same behaviors that you do so prepare your children to be able to interact with people of different backgrounds, races, ethnicities, religions, etc. Otherwise when reality hits them upside the head they will be sent into a whirlwind.


And this is why they need to fall flat on their faces. Let them make mistakes and retrain them.

It's how they'll learn.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 12:03     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Why are non profits so popular for SAHMs who are trying to get back in? Better hours? More flexible? Less "urgent@ work? Seriously is it one of those workplaces with less accountability because they typically pay less?
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 11:31     Subject: Re:It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
As someone who just finished working with a group of kids right out of college let me say that it will be a while before many of them are ready to take on any type of leadership role. Many (not all) are entitled, think everything should be dropped in their lap, and they give up too easily. They also don't like to listen to advice about how to self-correct when they are heading into the danger zone. Quite are few are awful at communication: They wear their emotions on their sleeve, they don't speak with respect (saying "what" instead of excuse me I didn't hear you, pardon, or can you please repeat that), and not speaking/acknowledging you when they see you. I read something recently that said parents remember that when you are done raising your kids remember they still have to go out into the world. The "real" world might not tolerate the same behaviors that you do so prepare your children to be able to interact with people of different backgrounds, races, ethnicities, religions, etc. Otherwise when reality hits them upside the head they will be sent into a whirlwind.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 11:20     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
You need to work your network. I know several long-time (10 yr+) SAHMs who re-entered the workforce at fairly high level nonprofit jobs, but the jobs came about because of contacts/relationships they'd made as PTA presidents, etc. You know a lot of people - that's a plus of community involvement. You need to leverage that network rather than applying for job listings.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:54     Subject: Re:It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:I would hire you over a recent grad any day. People with greater life experiences are better employees. Also, I guess this is "ageist" but many young people today have no sense of professionalism, are entitled, can't communicate well or take constructive feedback. Hang in there OP, something will happen.


And when this gen is running the world?

Set them straight. Watch them fall flat when they refuse to follow protocol. They'll come around. I've "retrained" quite a few - but I've also learned from many of them, too. They're tech savvy as hell - but w/o many people skills, which is where the training comes in.

I'd rather train a new generation to be successful to be honest. Move forward, folks! I've had to force myself to learn new things by placing myself in uncomfortable spots. But I'm also building on what I already know.

When you've been out for years, however, it's very hard to catch up.

Signed,
Gen Xer
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:50     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.


^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?


Uh, hardly. I'm a (female, with young kids) hiring manager who would never pass up a motivated young recent grad for someone who quit voluntarily and is now out of the game. Harsh but true. Based on OP's post I'm not alone.


I am sorry you are so bitter that someone else is raising your children while you work your important job of hiring manager.
Some women can handle that other women made the choice to stay home, but you obviously can't. I'm sorry for you.

You go ahead and hire millennials and I'll be laughing at all the training and behavior modification your organization will need to do because of your misguided philosophy!



First of all, the PP isn't entirely wrong. If it's a choice btw someone new with fresh/updated skills who will build a career and someone who opted out years ago, most would go with the former. And if you think Millennials are going away, dream on. I work with Millennials, and while some of their style clearly don't match mine, b/c they're paid for representing our company, they WILL step up - or they're out.

But the bottom line is this - Millennials WILL be running the country, folks, and Boomers and Gen Xers will be retiring.

Companies/orgs move forward. They don't want to step back, and sometimes that's how SAHMs entering the workforce are viewed - as stepping back.

And no, HOA boards and PTAs aren't stand outs. I know of plenty of working parents also represented on those committees.

It is what it is. Business is business.

Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:40     Subject: Re:It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Maybe you are shooting to low. Trying applying for some higher level positions. And network like crazy.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:22     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Mostly SAHM here who has been doing contract work in my field for past couple years as my youngest approaches kindergarten. Are you on LinkedIn? Depending on your industry you might have luck with them. Was just approached by a recruiter for more work in my field because of my profile.

Also I've been careful to limit my unrelated volunteer work. I find that because I'm home with my kids I get asked to volunteer about once a week. I'm very focused on what I volunteer for, and I say no a lot. I save my energy to attend a couple trainings/conferences in my industry and do excellent work when I am working.

And I agree with others. Don't sell yourself short!! A lot of people have job gaps for many reasons these days. You just have to keep getting out there. It's so hard to be persistent with all the prejudice against caregivers of all kinds. Stay positive (I know, so hard!!)
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:17     Subject: Re:It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
As a note, this is what college kids do, which is why they are selected. Recent work experience. An experienced employee with recent experience ready for entry level would win out for many positions.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:13     Subject: It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, but I don't feel bad. This is a conscious choice you made, to give up your career and be supported by your husband, and you are now perceived as always putting career on the back burner. PTSA and HOA simply don't translate to the real world.


^^ burned by the ex-wife for alimony, are ya?


Eh, I am the happily married wife of a federal employee who worked part-time for several years to avoid the situation in which OP now finds herself.

This is, in fact, the perception. You can be sweet and encouraging, but that won't help anything.

Stop telling even yourself that you're "willing" to start at the bottom. You see now that you will be lucky to get a job at the bottom, and you need to own that and make sure employers know that you are ready (not willing) to work. Volunteer work is great, but it essentially doesn't count. If I were you, I'd take classes at community college and a job at retail. Show you're ready, gain some marketable skills. Then you will be a more attractive candidate.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2015 09:06     Subject: Re:It just sucks - not even offered internship - (sigh)
I would hire you over a recent grad any day. People with greater life experiences are better employees. Also, I guess this is "ageist" but many young people today have no sense of professionalism, are entitled, can't communicate well or take constructive feedback. Hang in there OP, something will happen.