I hope to god my parents leave everything to my only brother. He can't support himself and will never have anything he doesn't inherit (they support him now at age 47). If they left anything to me I'd give it to him but fear that this would create bizarre financial entanglements. I'm solidly middle class (could never do private school, new cars, or lavish travel but own a home and have college savings accounts for kids) and don't need anything. I don't even know what they have or what provisions they've made for him. I'm afraid to ask. There's no way I could support him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my family we follow primogeniture. The oldest male child gets the lot, apart from some cash and keepsakes.

It works for our family.

Wow! Do you have a family heritage from a culture where this is the norm?

Now that would piss me off, but as you said - it works for your family, and if everyone comes up knowing that's the deal, then I imagine it is fine.

Yes, I do. I am the younger son and rather broke the mould by not joining the clergy. But I always knew I would have to make my own way in life, so have never harboured any bitterness about it. And this way I know that the family lands will stay together, as a great estate. I have seen so many other families lose the tradition, split up their lands, and end up subsumed into hoi polloi. Sad.

Do you live in England circa 1813

OP, if you do not want your children to fight and resent each other LONG after you are gone, be fair and reasonable and split it down the middle/evenly. It is NOT that difficult. It is not up to you to say this one/that one "needs" it more. You may not know the whole picture.

My parents would like to split everything evenly, but they have already given my sibling a LOT of money to help with housing costs that they really couldn't afford. I know that there's a good chance that I won't get much of an inheritance, if anything at all, but it doesn't bother me. I know that their intention is to be fair if possible, but with not having enough saved for retirement and making poor financial choices all along the way their intention of setting aside $$ for me to match what was given to my sibling is going to hit the reality of paying for retirement and long term care and there probably won't be anything left.

Honestly, even just knowing that they want everything to be fair is enough for me, even if it doesn't work out that way. It probably also helps that I'm doing just fine on my own and don't need help to be able to buy a house, etc.