Anonymous wrote:How would you handle a much older (20-30 years my senior) neighbor constantly making passes at you? I've tried to be polite and have declined dates many times but he continues to pursue me. It makes it really awkward for me. Every time I'm outside he comes outside to talk to me. I try to be friendly but I'm not interested in constantly making small talk with him. I've been avoiding him but it makes me feel awkward in my own neighborhood. Thoughts?

Next time he makes a pass, kick him in the balls.

Repeat if needed.

He'll get it soon.

Does he have big hands and feet?

OP admit it, you kind of want to find out if the old buck can get it up

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older man aspect OP mentions just seems like another facet of why this guy is annoying and out of touch. She's said she's not interested, and the age gap just makes it less likely she'd be interested. Most of you aren't with people 25 years older than you are, right?

You keep harping on this. As long as they are consenting adults I really don't give a hoot about the age, gender, race of people in a relationship.
I'm not a saint- but I just don't concern myself with why other folks are in THEIR relationships.

I can't tell if you're being deliberately obtuse or not. Surely you understand that the VAST MAJORITY of people aren't going to date or even be attracted to someone two or three decades older than them?

http://thechive.com/2012/08/27/ill-give-you-a-nickle-if-you-can-you-spot-the-rich-person-in-the-picture-38-photos/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stress to him that you enjoy speaking to him on occasion, but feel he has crossed certain boundaries by specific things he has told you.

Ask him kindly to refrain from saying certain things to you, it is all a matter of respect.

Then in the future when he starts conversing with you, smile and kindly let him know you have things to do.

Nope. Nope nope nope. If you really feel that he is crossing the line from harmless flirting into more stalker-ish territory, then this is exactly the wrong advice. Give NOTHING that could be construed as encouragement, even to be "friendly" or "neighborly" because your neighbor will use that as proof in his own mind that you still might be interested.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Stress to him that you enjoy speaking to him on occasion, but feel he has crossed certain boundaries by specific things he has told you.

Ask him kindly to refrain from saying certain things to you, it is all a matter of respect.

Then in the future when he starts conversing with you, smile and kindly let him know you have things to do.

Nope. Nope nope nope. If you really feel that he is crossing the line from harmless flirting into more stalker-ish territory, then this is exactly the wrong advice. Give NOTHING that could be construed as encouragement, even to be "friendly" or "neighborly" because your neighbor will use that as proof in his own mind that you still might be interested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older man aspect OP mentions just seems like another facet of why this guy is annoying and out of touch. She's said she's not interested, and the age gap just makes it less likely she'd be interested. Most of you aren't with people 25 years older than you are, right?

You keep harping on this. As long as they are consenting adults I really don't give a hoot about the age, gender, race of people in a relationship.
I'm not a saint- but I just don't concern myself with why other folks are in THEIR relationships.

I can't tell if you're being deliberately obtuse or not. Surely you understand that the VAST MAJORITY of people aren't going to date or even be attracted to someone two or three decades older than them?

+1.

OP,

One other possibility is that he is on the spectrum, cannot read your cues, and has no idea where he gets off. He's hyperfocusing on you, and can't stop being friendly.

I have a husband and son with Asperger's. I dread the thought of my son being one day accused of stalking. The best way to deal with people like this is by being very direct, in a calm, neutral way. No emotion, because that makes it harder for them to understand the actual message.

Look straight into his eyes and say clearly: "Please don't talk to me anymore. I need my personal space. Thank you."

If that doesn't work, call the police.

Stress to him that you enjoy speaking to him on occasion, but feel he has crossed certain boundaries by specific things he has told you.

Ask him kindly to refrain from saying certain things to you, it is all a matter of respect.

Then in the future when he starts conversing with you, smile and kindly let him know you have things to do.

Anonymous wrote:
FYI, as a feminist, do not fall into the trap of saying "I have a boyfriend" because it implies you're not available because you belong, as property to another man and you are not property. ::steps off soapbox::

Stop introducing gender issues where there are none. Saying "I have a boyfriend" does not imply that you are not available because you belong as property to another man. It implies that you are not available because you are already in a committed monogamous relationship that you don't care to change. This is no different than when a woman hits on a guy in a bar and he says "Sorry, I have a girlfriend". While there are many loaded responses that might imply something like you suggest, you are overreaching here in trying to apply it here.

Just sleep with him and get it over with.

Does he have money?