Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affairs happen all the time ........ not really a big deal. Even the definition of what constitutes an emotional affair can vary.

There was someone at work that I really related to and we used to share lots of fairly intimate information about our respective lives. There was nothing physical although there certainly was attraction for me. But once we moved jobs, the closeness gradually diminished. We are still in touch with each other but not as close by any means.

This happened to me. Going through a lousy marriage and difficult family life. Had a great connection with a wonderful women. Intelligent, sexy, attractive, fun to be with. At first it was really only as friends but lately I have been falling for her. My wife has left and we are working through a separation with 2 kids. But with my friend, we hug and my heart skips a beat. I feel her body wrapped around me and I feel like a teenager. I am alive after going thru the demise of a long marriage, 10 years of darkness and stress. I look forward to meeting this woman, it just makes my day happy. I tingle inside. But she has already moved on to new men. And now I feel hurt when nothing actually existed. I wasn't able to move on her, not yet separated, but now I want to feel alive again.

She has already moved to new men? After you dumped your wife and kids for her? Awww, that's too too sad. I bet she didn't want the leftovers of your marriage...

Don't worry! There are lots of women ready to make you feel alive again and rescue you from the doldrums of regular life and the stress of a family and 2 kids. Since you will be paying child support for 2 kids, though, I doubt you will be able to afford them. Try craigslist casual encounters...plenty of pigs there will bang any pig that trundles their way!

Good luck!

A guy is sad because the chick he wanted to bang dissed him. He and his wife are divorcing because of his desire to bang another woman. Now he's sad because bang chick moved on to lusher grazing and more fertile fields.

And me pointing those facts put makes you have a boo-boo?

It's ok, we all have Obamacare now- your butt hurt is covered!

This was a truly unnecessary post. Can you please explain what it brings to our overall discussion of the thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affairs happen all the time ........ not really a big deal. Even the definition of what constitutes an emotional affair can vary.

There was someone at work that I really related to and we used to share lots of fairly intimate information about our respective lives. There was nothing physical although there certainly was attraction for me. But once we moved jobs, the closeness gradually diminished. We are still in touch with each other but not as close by any means.

This happened to me. Going through a lousy marriage and difficult family life. Had a great connection with a wonderful women. Intelligent, sexy, attractive, fun to be with. At first it was really only as friends but lately I have been falling for her. My wife has left and we are working through a separation with 2 kids. But with my friend, we hug and my heart skips a beat. I feel her body wrapped around me and I feel like a teenager. I am alive after going thru the demise of a long marriage, 10 years of darkness and stress. I look forward to meeting this woman, it just makes my day happy. I tingle inside. But she has already moved on to new men. And now I feel hurt when nothing actually existed. I wasn't able to move on her, not yet separated, but now I want to feel alive again.

She has already moved to new men? After you dumped your wife and kids for her? Awww, that's too too sad. I bet she didn't want the leftovers of your marriage...

Don't worry! There are lots of women ready to make you feel alive again and rescue you from the doldrums of regular life and the stress of a family and 2 kids. Since you will be paying child support for 2 kids, though, I doubt you will be able to afford them. Try craigslist casual encounters...plenty of pigs there will bang any pig that trundles their way!

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affairs happen all the time ........ not really a big deal. Even the definition of what constitutes an emotional affair can vary.

There was someone at work that I really related to and we used to share lots of fairly intimate information about our respective lives. There was nothing physical although there certainly was attraction for me. But once we moved jobs, the closeness gradually diminished. We are still in touch with each other but not as close by any means.

This happened to me. Going through a lousy marriage and difficult family life. Had a great connection with a wonderful women. Intelligent, sexy, attractive, fun to be with. At first it was really only as friends but lately I have been falling for her. My wife has left and we are working through a separation with 2 kids. But with my friend, we hug and my heart skips a beat. I feel her body wrapped around me and I feel like a teenager. I am alive after going thru the demise of a long marriage, 10 years of darkness and stress. I look forward to meeting this woman, it just makes my day happy. I tingle inside. But she has already moved on to new men. And now I feel hurt when nothing actually existed. I wasn't able to move on her, not yet separated, but now I want to feel alive again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she's milking an emotional affair for all it's worth. My husband and I have gone through patches where we are distant because we just aren't on the same page for whatever reason. I probably in those times would not even care if he had a close female friendship. There have been times I daresay I would not have cared if he had a physical affair, I have reached points of being that checked out. We always come back to a a good place but every marriage has those rough spots. Why is she so hung up in the "emotional affair"? It wasn't physical, right? She has to make the effort to move on as well. She can't linger forever in the "well you did x so I can be mad about y" or you'll never move past it. So she has to be willing to actually attempt to move on and let go of her ace card and not keep it in her back pocket to use against you when it's convenient.

The betrayed spouse is "milking" betrayal? Look, if you don't care if you and your spouse betray each other, that's your choice. This woman has every right to react as she sees fit.

You say you wouldn't care if your spouse has an affair, but I bet if he brought you home an STD, left you for the other person, was hiding a secret life and using money to do so, was spending time with another person and neglecting you and any children you had together for another person, the affair would get real real fast for you.

You check your spouse and he hasn't cheated, so you have no experience with a cheating spouse, but are impugning a woman whose husband actually had an affair? Wow, thanks, lady. You have to have your nose shoved in crap like she has and attempt to rid yourself of the stench before giving advice. SMH

wtf, OP didn't do any of that! She hasn't gone through that anymore than I have. Obviously if that were the scenario I would feel different but shit, they were emotionally distant and he had a friendship with another woman that he ended up cutting off. Yes, she's being overly dramatic and punitive because she CAN. She's holding this "emotional affair" over his head even though she likely didn't actually give a shit about it while it was happening if they were as distant as he says.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she's milking an emotional affair for all it's worth. My husband and I have gone through patches where we are distant because we just aren't on the same page for whatever reason. I probably in those times would not even care if he had a close female friendship. There have been times I daresay I would not have cared if he had a physical affair, I have reached points of being that checked out. We always come back to a a good place but every marriage has those rough spots. Why is she so hung up in the "emotional affair"? It wasn't physical, right? She has to make the effort to move on as well. She can't linger forever in the "well you did x so I can be mad about y" or you'll never move past it. So she has to be willing to actually attempt to move on and let go of her ace card and not keep it in her back pocket to use against you when it's convenient.

The betrayed spouse is "milking" betrayal? Look, if you don't care if you and your spouse betray each other, that's your choice. This woman has every right to react as she sees fit.

You say you wouldn't care if your spouse has an affair, but I bet if he brought you home an STD, left you for the other person, was hiding a secret life and using money to do so, was spending time with another person and neglecting you and any children you had together for another person, the affair would get real real fast for you.

You check your spouse and he hasn't cheated, so you have no experience with a cheating spouse, but are impugning a woman whose husband actually had an affair? Wow, thanks, lady. You have to have your nose shoved in crap like she has and attempt to rid yourself of the stench before giving advice. SMH

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affairs happen all the time ........ not really a big deal. Even the definition of what constitutes an emotional affair can vary.

There was someone at work that I really related to and we used to share lots of fairly intimate information about our respective lives. There was nothing physical although there certainly was attraction for me. But once we moved jobs, the closeness gradually diminished. We are still in touch with each other but not as close by any means.

Is there general agreement as to what constitutes an "emotional affair"?

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affairs happen all the time ........ not really a big deal. Even the definition of what constitutes an emotional affair can vary.

There was someone at work that I really related to and we used to share lots of fairly intimate information about our respective lives. There was nothing physical although there certainly was attraction for me. But once we moved jobs, the closeness gradually diminished. We are still in touch with each other but not as close by any means.

Anonymous wrote:Emotional affairs happen all the time ........ not really a big deal. Even the definition of what constitutes an emotional affair can vary.

There was someone at work that I really related to and we used to share lots of fairly intimate information about our respective lives. There was nothing physical although there certainly was attraction for me. But once we moved jobs, the closeness gradually diminished. We are still in touch with each other but not as close by any means.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, you're nuts. If you were worth THAT much work your spouse never would have cheated in the first place. That list is straight ridiculous.

Which is the same attitude OP takes, so he might as well spare them both and just leave.

Anonymous wrote:PP, you're nuts. If you were worth THAT much work your spouse never would have cheated in the first place. That list is straight ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's my read: your post is all about you. How you can't stand being the same room, how you don't want to hear about it anymore blah blah blah.

I don't think you're showing very much concern for your wife's pain, which is probably why this isn't closed for her.

Unless she feels really really heard and understood and feels you're remorseful, she will not have peace - therefore you will not have peace.

I can't get over your whole post is about how you think the fallout of your bad decisions is lasting too long for your comfort. That's one of the most self centered, un-empathetic, non-compassionate things I've heard in a long time. you're a loser.

But based on what was written, do you feel like his wife is working towards relational repair, or just using this as justification to remain angry and isolated? None of us can say what either of them are like IRL, but from the one-sided perspective he gave, she's not helping. Yes, it's sucks that she's the aggrieved party and still has to do work to fix things, but that's life and love. Time frame aside, it does sound like she's actively trying to punish him, which won't help. Pl

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she's milking an emotional affair for all it's worth. My husband and I have gone through patches where we are distant because we just aren't on the same page for whatever reason. I probably in those times would not even care if he had a close female friendship. There have been times I daresay I would not have cared if he had a physical affair, I have reached points of being that checked out. We always come back to a a good place but every marriage has those rough spots. Why is she so hung up in the "emotional affair"? It wasn't physical, right? She has to make the effort to move on as well. She can't linger forever in the "well you did x so I can be mad about y" or you'll never move past it. So she has to be willing to actually attempt to move on and let go of her ace card and not keep it in her back pocket to use against you when it's convenient.