I just went to an old friend's wedding on the West Coast (I only see her once or twice a year when I go home to see my family for the holidays). I am friends with both her and her husband.

Between airfare and car rental, I spent $400. I contributed $100 toward their "honeyfund," specifically directing my payment toward the purchase of a digital camera for their trip. We are in our early 30s, so I think that was appropriate.

Also, on the day of the wedding I spent a few hours helping the groomsmen set up the venue (hanging decorative lights, building the chuppah, etc). I feel light I did my part, in terms of spending and time.

I think $100 in cash or from the registry is plenty generous. The $2500 poster is being absolutely ridiculous. and spending to get there is absolutely relevant. Many friends have said if you bed to travel, your presence is our gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We would give $100.

That's insanely low. I would be embarrassed to give that.

It is not insanely low in the midwest, ESPECIALLY considering the travel. I got married 2 years ago in Illinois and $100 was about the average for a couple. Anything over $150 stood out as extremely generous. It was a decently upper middle class guest list.

I agree it would be low on the East Coast.

If you are close enough to the couple to attend a far away wedding. You are close enough to give more than I spend on a dinner with DH. $100 is pov.

How is the amount that YOU spend on dinner with your DH in any way relevant to my life?

NP but the OP asked how much would "we" spend. So this poster was giving perspective on how much they would spend.

See the bolded. She is explicitly stating that any person who gives less than what she spends on dinner is cheap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

That's ridiculous

I know, right? I'm sure it's possible PP is Indian, where ridiculous wedding gifts are common, but I still think the relationship was more complex than OP's ("DH's friend"). Giving a "friend" $2,500 is just showing off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In a very similar situation we gave the couple $2500, but that is the norm for us and I know it isn't the norm for everyone.

That's ridiculous

For reference, I had a Saturday night black tie wedding in NYC. Our closest friends gave us a gift certificate that cost $600, which we thought was ridiculously generous and we would have been uncomfortable keeping it if we didn't know they could easily afford it and they are the type of people who like spoiling their friends. I honestly don't remember what other people have as this was almost 10 years ago but I know this was by far the most expensive "friend" gift we received. If someone had given us over a thousand dollars, I would have felt extremely awkward. I would almost think the person assumed DH and I were in some kind of financial trouble and couldn't afford our honeymoon or something. Since that is far from the case, there is no way I would accept it, and I would have to have a very uncomfortable conversation with the giver.

Anonymous wrote:I think $100 (cash or registry) is more than appropriate. I think anything much higher -- unless common in your family/community -- is showing off.

I would feel really weird if the most expensive gift I got was from a couple I barely knew.

+1 I see nothing wrong at all with giving $100. We regularly give that amount and higher if it's a close friend or family member.

I think $100 (cash or registry) is more than appropriate. I think anything much higher -- unless common in your family/community -- is showing off.

I would feel really weird if the most expensive gift I got was from a couple I barely knew.