I actually get what you're going through. I have divorced parents, and my dad only was into serious substance abuse and was emotionally and sexually abusive (hence: divorce). I tried to make it work and keep up some sort of relationship until I had a daughter, and then I just couldn't. Lots of therapy later, I know that was the right call. He'll never have access to my kids. And I just stopped getting in touch, no declaration or anything-- but I wasn't sure it was forever, and was working with a therapist-- and he's made no effort to get in touch with me. I send a Christmas gift, my stepmother sends our family Christmas gifts, and that's it. It's been 8 years, and I suppose I'll have to go bacK for his funeral. But not before.

OP here: let me recap. I am not considering cutting off my parents, I AM cutting off my parents. The decision has been made.

Those who've shared their experiences, advice, and support: thank you.

Nasty PPs who've used this as an opportunity to make assumptions and name call: sod off.

OP - As you have seen such a key personal/familial decision needs to be sorted out between you and your therapist and you and your husband. Whatever is triggering this decision should be shared and the key factors are you need to do what will make you feel safe as well as loved with your nuclear family. If there is any fear that you may follow in the role of your parents in relating to your child (children) in the present or future that is also very important to deal with. Coming to a random board for input in such a personal decision probably is not the best way to proceed. If this decision in any way might be magnified or brought on by post-partum depression that, too, might be an element to weigh in considering what your decision is and why.