So surprised by the responses here. DH is 40 and I'm 45. We married when he was 28 and I was 33. Had kids when he was 30/32 and I was 35/37. It has never been an issue at all. It's not a big age difference. He's always been more mature than me, anyway!! I don't worry about him running off with a younger woman! Go for it, OP!!

Have you asked him what his short and long term goals are? I think those are really important questions to ask on the second or even the first date.

If you have similar goals then it could work out. If not then reconsider.

PP is really reaching there. A 29yo woman is physically and mentally appealing to a 24yo guy. 29yo women meet men of all ages, younger and older. This really doesn't need to be overanalyzed. You will figure out within a month or two if its worth your while.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real issue is that an age gap like that signifies one or both of you are undesirable mates in some respect and are settling. Why cant you or he find someone more age appropriate? It signifies desperation on your part and inability to attract someone younger and hotter on his part.

When you are 39 and he is 34, if you are still together, he will be in his prime and you will be long past yours.

Guess what happens then?

Everything in this post is complete nonsense.

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Anonymous wrote:The real issue is that an age gap like that signifies one or both of you are undesirable mates in some respect and are settling. Why cant you or he find someone more age appropriate? It signifies desperation on your part and inability to attract someone younger and hotter on his part.

When you are 39 and he is 34, if you are still together, he will be in his prime and you will be long past yours.

Guess what happens then?

Everything in this post is complete nonsense.

The real issue is that an age gap like that signifies one or both of you are undesirable mates in some respect and are settling. Why cant you or he find someone more age appropriate? It signifies desperation on your part and inability to attract someone younger and hotter on his part.

When you are 39 and he is 34, if you are still together, he will be in his prime and you will be long past yours.

Guess what happens then?

It's OK now. Not so OK whrn you are 43 and he is 38.

I don't think the issue is maturity, I think it is options.

I think that age gaps are not that important when people are younger and when they are older. I just think they are important when one person is hitting "marriage time" and the other isn't. She dates him for 5 years and is 34 and then they don't get married. He has all the options in the world and she is struggling.

I would date cautiously. I would date him but also others and be clear about how many years before you bail.

What's the age difference PP?

i'm not the pp but you said it yourself if you ask guys they answer with maybe a couple of years younger.

Yes, I think in the abstract, most guys have a vague preference for someone slightly younger than them. This is entirely different than a guy dating someone for years, falling in love with them, and then waking up one day and saying "eh, let's try for someone a few years younger." I think this is only marginally more likely than a guy waking up after dating a blond woman for three years and saying "you know what, I think I'll break up with this woman I'm in love with because I kind of like brunettes better."

Here is my entire thought process when my now-wife told me she was older than me: "Oh. Maybe I will make a dumb cougar joke later."

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Anonymous wrote:He will leave you for someone his age or younger OP trust me.

this is my fear as well. when he is ready to get married he will dump you and propose to a much younger girl.

Guy here. I really think guys give way less of a shit about their significant other's age than women do. It is not impossible this relationship will fall apart because OP is ready to get married and this guy doesn't feel ready yet. It will not fall apart because one day the guy wakes up and thinks "She is 32 and I'd really rather be with a 28 year old." Guys do not have that thought.

Most guys want younger woman, in 5 years he is the 29 year old and can still date a 24 or 25 year old and has plenty of time to settle down, OP will be middle aged by then.

Are you male?

pp here no i'm a women and unfortunately i talk from experience.

The only way you could talk from experience on the claim "most guys want younger woman" is if you have dated most guys, and most of them told you they were leaving you because they wanted to be with younger women.

I know plenty of guys (most, in fact) who if you directly asked them the preferred age of their significant other, would say something along the lines of "I dunno. Maybe a couple years younger than me?" I know zero guys who if they were otherwise happy in an existing relationship would say "well, this is nice, but someone younger just makes more sense for me. I guess I will end it." That's not how the male brain works.

I am a 28 year old woman seriously dating a 27 year old guy. He's a year and a half younger than me. When we met when I was 25 and he was 23, I laughed off his advances because he was "so young". It was my other GUY friends who were 23-25 at the time that looked at me like I was crazy for possibly turning him down only because of a slight age difference. They weren't just talking either; now one of them is married to a girl 4 years older than he and I've seen the other dating girls 2 years younger AND older than him. In fact, in all my real life experiences with guys and dating; I've never seen the guy make a big deal about a girl based on her age unless she was visibly older than he. In my circle of friends it is much more common to have a couple be the same age or a year or two apart. It seems more accidental than deliberate.

I think it is women who deliberately target older guys because they want financial security. A 27 year old friend of mine is seriously dating a 32 year old man. Her man has now bought them a house and they are getting ready to have children. My guy at 27 is still chugging along at his first post- grad school job so I can't imagine buying a house until the next 4 years or so. :\

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will leave you for someone his age or younger OP trust me.

this is my fear as well. when he is ready to get married he will dump you and propose to a much younger girl.

Guy here. I really think guys give way less of a shit about their significant other's age than women do. It is not impossible this relationship will fall apart because OP is ready to get married and this guy doesn't feel ready yet. It will not fall apart because one day the guy wakes up and thinks "She is 32 and I'd really rather be with a 28 year old." Guys do not have that thought.

Most guys want younger woman, in 5 years he is the 29 year old and can still date a 24 or 25 year old and has plenty of time to settle down, OP will be middle aged by then.

Are you male?

pp here no i'm a women and unfortunately i talk from experience.

The only way you could talk from experience on the claim "most guys want younger woman" is if you have dated most guys, and most of them told you they were leaving you because they wanted to be with younger women.

I know plenty of guys (most, in fact) who if you directly asked them the preferred age of their significant other, would say something along the lines of "I dunno. Maybe a couple years younger than me?" I know zero guys who if they were otherwise happy in an existing relationship would say "well, this is nice, but someone younger just makes more sense for me. I guess I will end it." That's not how the male brain works.

i'm not the pp but you said it yourself if you ask guys they answer with maybe a couple of years younger.

When I was 19 I dated a guy who was 8 years older than me. I had been out of HS for less than a year when I met him so it was a pretty big age difference.

By the time I was 22 the age difference didn't mean that much because I also had a certain amount of life experience by that point.

That said, the age difference between 29 and 24 really isn't that great a difference. But it's always possible to have a big difference in maturity levels. Ex: a 29 year old "kid" still hnging out in their parent's basement playing video games, not working, not going to school could be vastly less mature than a 24 year old with a full time job, their own place, etc.

I think it's a terrible idea.

Having said that, a good friend met her DH when he was 18 and she was 23. He's a doctor now and they had their first baby at 31/26.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will leave you for someone his age or younger OP trust me.

this is my fear as well. when he is ready to get married he will dump you and propose to a much younger girl.

Guy here. I really think guys give way less of a shit about their significant other's age than women do. It is not impossible this relationship will fall apart because OP is ready to get married and this guy doesn't feel ready yet. It will not fall apart because one day the guy wakes up and thinks "She is 32 and I'd really rather be with a 28 year old." Guys do not have that thought.

Most guys want younger woman, in 5 years he is the 29 year old and can still date a 24 or 25 year old and has plenty of time to settle down, OP will be middle aged by then.

Are you male?

pp here no i'm a women and unfortunately i talk from experience.

The only way you could talk from experience on the claim "most guys want younger woman" is if you have dated most guys, and most of them told you they were leaving you because they wanted to be with younger women.

I know plenty of guys (most, in fact) who if you directly asked them the preferred age of their significant other, would say something along the lines of "I dunno. Maybe a couple years younger than me?" I know zero guys who if they were otherwise happy in an existing relationship would say "well, this is nice, but someone younger just makes more sense for me. I guess I will end it." That's not how the male brain works.