I've been reading the posts and I was troubled the recommendation for the parishioner to leave the church because of one Father/priest if he/she had issues. The church is not the priest or any one individual, it's the people. However it is unfortunate when a priest elevates himself to a pedestal as if he is actually Jesus and finger wags. Look, I go to another local Catholic church, but I have to say that the only judge is the one we see when we face god, not a priest. Although I do not necessarily agree with all of the comments, I do think that priests should be less judgmental and less about the finances. I mean, I have seen when Parishes have refused to baptize children or perform another ceremony simply because they did not have strong records (as held by the church) for tithing. To me, that's when the church could be magnanimous and set the example as an "understanding" partner on our journey back to our Lord. It does bother me when the business Father rears its ugly head. Again, the only thing I agree with in the posts is being less judgmental and more understanding…and also the money issue.

If you're not happy with Father H, then why don't you just find a new church? I also think Father H is a little tight…maybe even not so warm but it isn't so bad where it gets me upset and have to keep writing about it. I'm just saying that finding another church is always an option.

*bulletin

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by "the bulletin" at mass?

^^ This. The bulletin still exists, and is in the same place it's always been - in the wooden "holders" by the side and rear doors. We've been attending St Marys since 1999, and there has been no change in the bulletin in that time. They were never handed out before mass; if you wanted to take one to read before or during, you just go get one as you sit down. I don't know what the PP is referring to in her repeated "discontinuation of the bulleting" rant.

What do you mean by "the bulletin" at mass?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any thought to having a Catholic school and.or parish forum ? The responses indicate that this is important to some people, but what does this have to do with Private schools ?

Wouldn't your community attract more readers and inform more people if it was headed under " Parochial " . Who would look to Private School forum for a discussion on a priest leaving a church , not me. Yet, obviously its a dialogue worth having

You posted in the wrong place. Jeff won't see this kind of suggestion. Post in website feedback if you want him to see it.

That being said, how familiar are you with dcum? The religion forum in particular?

A dedicated Catholic anything forum would just up being endless hate filled or mocking anti Catholic bashing. I don't think you would be happy with the outcome if he were to agree.

This for sure. I belong to two Catholic websites that require registrations and we still get bigots. They just keep registering with new emails.

If Father H was going to ask folks to re-examine their amount of giving, then he should have picked a more appropriate time than 10 minutes into the mass...like the beginning or the end of the mass, which not only interrupted the Father conducting the mass, but it also made for a disjointed and "unholy" felling or perception that only he created. It felt like a salesman making a pitch and asking for money at the very moment I was ready for the gospel, word of God and the holiness of the mass that I seek each week. Again, the hypocrisy I reference is Father H's rationale for discontinuing the Bulletin at masses. He said that the bulletin took away from the "holiness" of the mass. Again, I find that rationale laughable and somewhat austere in light of his willingness/guickness to interrupt a house of worship to ask for money. There could have a much better time and way to accomplish this. It speaks to his arrogance and finger-wagging style. Again, we need understanding clergy who project kindness, not rigidity and fear.

The HSA thing was in motion before Father H arrived, and if the list of donors bothers you, please reach out to a board member. I think that sort of thing is pretty typical for private schools, although maybe not Catholic schools.

I attend church each week, and since I go to the same mass I don't get the same priest. While I loved Father K and was pretty upset that he was being transferred, I haven't noticed much difference in the message at mass. I don't think Father H is as involved in the school (seems to have delegated that to Father Barnes, who is great) and I miss Father K's weekly column in the bulletin and his devotion to his flock, I think Father H is just fine and in time will show equal devotion. The FaithDirect thing was a one time thing, and Father K discussed proper attire for church periodically both in his homily and in the bulletin. I was honestly shocked when I saw the materials distributed with FaithDirect which indicated there were around 60 families who made weekly offerings of more than $60. This is not in line with the amount of wealth in the parish, so maybe it wasn't an inappropriate request to ask people to reexamine their willingness to give. It also dates back to Father K's time, so it can't be taken to indicate a reduction in giving due to Father H.

I also don't think the parish has full control over it's funds. I certainly think they get what they need to run the parish/school, but the Diocese controls this. We definitely subsidize some of the smaller/less wealthy parishes.

I have heard nothing about the parish buying more Property. But that doesn't mean it's not true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have chosen not to give what I had been to. St Mary's. If you look you will see lots of money being spent Since the new pastor arrived. My money will go to otheraces in the diocese.

Where is the money being spent? If you don't know, ask. Our church has collections for different diocesan needs.

I don't know specifically but I hear that St Mary's is trying to buy more property in Old Town.

I laugh at responders who continue to redefine the original criticism of Father H - trying to oversimplify it by continuing to comment of the direct donation initiative, as if it was the original and overarching criticism of Father H. Actually, I have NO problem Faith Direct. My issue had to do with him applying pressure to "RECOMMIT" your/our tithing level while ALSO promoting the direct deposit program. His pitch had such a used car sales feel to it…he led us step by step like a little child with the clear implication to GIVE MORE as he said, "write in your name", act - as I saw the ushers passing out these forms and pencils, I cringed. The pitch took place after the first 10 minutes of mass, which really caused for disjointed feel to the mass that took away from our reverence to God and the mass. I reference this because when Father H took over early last year, he decided that St Mary's would no longer provide the info sheet prior to mass. The reason given was that it took away from the "Holiness" of the mass. I simply found his pitch (not a short pitch to ask for the faith direct but his long condescending step by step instruction to "recommit") to be hypocritical and a contradiction to his so called desire to maintain the holiness of the mass. It would have been ok and appropriate to promote the faith direct prior to mass or at the end for a short time but his pitch, to include leading us like children through the steps, was absolutely off-putting. It bothered me even more because of his so-called desire to more reverent with regard to the mass.

Then the idea of the school allowing other parents to see what I donated or didn't donate (I don't care if that existed prior to Father H or not, this lacks class and grace - Father H is here now)…all feeling like high pressure sales tactics. On top of all of that, the long diatribe about dress code…all bringing me to the conclusion that we instead need a nice, welcoming Father that is less judgmental and more aligned to the life of Jesus and to what Jesus would want, do or say. We don't need harsh, we need empathy and understanding. Actually, I do want to give Father H a chance - that would include a complete reboot of many of his attitudes, which cannot be known immediately. Only time will tell, but I will be watching for changes. Until I see such changes, the church will receive less of my money.

Anonymous wrote:I also have chosen not to give what I had been to. St Mary's. If you look you will see lots of money being spent Since the new pastor arrived. My money will go to otheraces in the diocese.

Where is the money being spent? If you don't know, ask. Our church has collections for different diocesan needs.

I also have chosen not to give what I had been to. St Mary's. If you look you will see lots of money being spent Since the new pastor arrived. My money will go to otheraces in the diocese.

The FaithDirect manner of donations has been in other parishes for quite some time. My in-laws, very conservative Catholics, love this manner of giving. So it just goes to show, different opinions for different people. I don't have strong feelings either way, but do believe this was underway before Fr. H was on the scene.

Regarding the dress code, it almost makes me laugh...St. Mary's Mass participants are rarely noted for their casual, skimpy attire! I am all for respectability but believe in the come as you are mentality more as long as your come.

I do miss Fr. K but think we need to give Fr.H more time. There is certainly room to grow as a parish and a school, though Fr. K and others made a fantastic impact IMO as I love the school and the parish.

Believe me, his diatribe regarding dress was not a simple reminder. He went on and on and was extremely judgmental and unwelcoming. I do agree that simply mentioning his preference would have been ok but I remember him going on and on and really sounding mean-spirited. The fact is, he is not jesus nor God and therefore is not my judge or anyone's judge. I would not have been offended with him mentioning his preference with a passive comment. However, this was not the case. We should be able to "come as we are" as long as we are clean and dressed nicely…and yes, some shorts are dressy. BTW, Jesus wore a robe. Would we be criticized for wearing robes? We probably would. Why….because we have advanced too far in this society to dress that way. Well, in the same way, we have advanced to the point where shorts could be acceptable.

But it's not just that one issue. The biggest issue is that he doesn't project kindness. I don't want to restate all of my examples but I have at least 5-8. We need kindness, understanding and counsel at St. Mary's, not judgement. Even Pope Francis talks of this.

The school fundraising plan was established at the end of the last school year. School families were notified of this change in the spring, so this has nothing to do with Fr. Hathaway.

Let him talk about Faith Direct to ensure everyone has heard the message -- my goodness, relax. He is introducing a new program, not coming to your door shaking your down for money. If you looked at the church financials that were posted a few months ago you would see that a lot of money goes to the those who are in need in our community. If anything, there has been a message of "give of your time more so we can make a bigger impact in our community" via the St. Vincent DePaul Society and other groups.