1. You are an ex-Catholic, mostly agnostic.
2. Your daughter is having an identity crisis.

Therapy is your route and not religion. Why would you confuse her with religious beliefs if you can't anchor yourself to a belief system?

Steer her toward the sciences. Teach her what we DO know. Throwing her into a man[u]-made belief system - where there's the possibility of a hell for people who are "bad" or a stereotypical roles for women or rules that teach you to live your life in fear - won't end her crisis.

You'd simply be modeling hypocrisy for her.

Anonymous wrote:So I know that title is absurd. What little girl (age 7) has an existential crisis? But, mine is asking questions about not understanding why she was born, why she is who she is, what is a soul, how the universe was made, where the first beings came from, etc. etc. She's sad and cries about it. Sometimes she tells me she can't explain, can't find the words to express what's bothering her. (Yes we are looking at therapy as well).

I'm an ex Catholic, now mostly agnostic. But when she was feeling lost, I told her about God, ("Some people believe..." God having a plan for her, God sending Jesus... and it seemed to give her some peace.

If religion is what she needs, that's fine with me. I always have felt I'd let my kids find their own way to religion if they want it. But if this child needs it sooner than later.... what church/faith do you think is best for little girls? Not to offend Catholics who share the religion of my birth; the messages I personally internalized, esp. about women, from 13 years in Catholic school were mostly negative. I would not want Hell, the Devil, damnation to be important, but a message of love and that she has a purpose here/reason for having been born.

Any ideas? Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

She can't take communion.

until she goes to a priest and confesses her sins -- assuming she thinks she has sins to confess and that a priest can absolve them -- and that this has anything to do with her daughter's existential crisis

PP here. The only points I am making are that 1. this little girl's crisis won't be solved with a purchase from Amazon. She is looking for spirituality and comfort and if you ask me, joining a religios community will help her. 2. Buy-in from mom, not a book from Amazon, will help with this, and mom should go where she knows the drill, thus to the Catholics 3. At least according to my friends and the metro ads welcoming you home, the Catholic Church would be happy to have her. So I got communion rules a bit off. It is lazy thinking and a cop out to say that communion is the issue. 4. She owes her daughter some tools for thinking about faith and pretty much any religion can give a person that. The point is, it sounds like this kid needs a church, and that means mom needs to go with her.

You bet the Catholic church would be happy to have her - they are losing people in droves. They are so desperate they're going to Africa and S america to try to increase their numbers among the ignorant peasant. They'd love to snap up someone like OP's daughter.

I don't think formal religion is necessary.

But I do believe religion is necessary for kids - it gives them answers to all your DD's questions. Gives them a reason to be good, love one another, etc. It sure helped when our cat died 2 weeks ago (Jesus left a note for 3 yr old DD that he came and took her to heaven, clouds drawn around it etc). I asked DD tonite "where's kitty?" She told me in heaven with Jesus. And I've never taken her to church. And telling her not to hit because it makes Jesus sad works too.

When my DD is older, she can read the bible and internet or whatever and formulate her own modified beliefs, but I think a childhood without religion is seriously lacking. Plus, with no religion now, there's no choice to make later. I think it's near impossible to make that leap as an adult. I'd think it's like trying to convince a jewish or muslim person that jesus was the messiah and god was his dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She "owes" her daughter "tools" for thinking about faith? What does that even mean? She "owes" her a framework that assumes faith is mandatory to solve this existential crisis?

Because she is having an existential crisis and religions have a vocab for this.

philosophy has a vocal for this too that does not involve various sets of rules and beliefs in invisible beings

Anonymous wrote:She "owes" her daughter "tools" for thinking about faith? What does that even mean? She "owes" her a framework that assumes faith is mandatory to solve this existential crisis?

Because she is having an existential crisis and religions have a vocab for this.

I'm sorry you guys - are we talking about the same Catholic church here? THE Catholic Church - the one with the Vatican and the Pope and all that jazz? The one that ONLY YESTERDAY agreed to a tribunal to to judge bishops of covering up DECADES of Pedophile actions. Wow, he said "let's go ahead an look at it"!

The same church that would tell OP's DD she shouldn't use birth control - even if she were married and already had 6 kids? I mean, I'm happy they've toned down the "sin" component as far as you're all concerned, and the new Pope they've got seems like a real nice guy and all -- but I haven't heard him say, go ahead and take a pill Latin America!

THIS is how you all recommend her dealing with her 7 year olds existential crisis?

Those faithful reading this are thinking what? "oh, but that's just a small part of it - This shrew doesn't get what is so great about the love of Jesus." You'll probably have some back-pocket quote about how men are fallible but God teaches through them blah blah blah. It's bullshit.

OP - don't do this to your daughter. Teach her she can love herself and love her fellow man, and live each day in service to others because that will make her feel purpose and see the best in humanity and existence. That's all she needs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would say Catholicism or something similar because that's what you know and can guide her with. I have the same issues with it but it has a sense of routine and ceremony that is calming to children. As she grows you can explain the things you don't believe. That's what my parents did with me and I turned out with a decent base.

OP, the first thing that came to my mind from your post was nuns. Your post reminded me of Sister Marie.

Our family attends one of the more conservative Catholic churches in the area, and even at that one the CCD program is not one of sin and damnation. At the youngrr ages especially it is all about God's love.

Now, I am not saying you should go Catholic, but there are many warm and nurturing Catholic churches that are not what you experienced, particularly with regards to CCD. What those classes are like might not be at all what you remember them to be.

+1 My own CCD experience in another state had a certain amount of sin and guilt, but for my kids now it is about gods love and the teaching of Jesus.

I was just like your daughter and ended up pursuing Catholicism, Buddhism and Hinduism, studies in consciousness, and a sprinkle of new age. It's a lifelong fascination. Wish I'd had a friend like your DD to mull Big Questions with!

She "owes" her daughter "tools" for thinking about faith? What does that even mean? She "owes" her a framework that assumes faith is mandatory to solve this existential crisis?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

She can't take communion.

until she goes to a priest and confesses her sins -- assuming she thinks she has sins to confess and that a priest can absolve them -- and that this has anything to do with her daughter's existential crisis

PP here. The only points I am making are that 1. this little girl's crisis won't be solved with a purchase from Amazon. She is looking for spirituality and comfort and if you ask me, joining a religios community will help her. 2. Buy-in from mom, not a book from Amazon, will help with this, and mom should go where she knows the drill, thus to the Catholics 3. At least according to my friends and the metro ads welcoming you home, the Catholic Church would be happy to have her. So I got communion rules a bit off. It is lazy thinking and a cop out to say that communion is the issue. 4. She owes her daughter some tools for thinking about faith and pretty much any religion can give a person that. The point is, it sounds like this kid needs a church, and that means mom needs to go with her.

I think going back to church is a great idea, but yeah, wanted to clarify about communion.

Got it. I reacted adversely to your clarification because of the rude posters. Got you mixed up. I mentioned my faith only to make it clear I wasn't choosing Catholicism, but the familiar, and only mentioned communion because it isn't an obstacle to entering the sanctuary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

She can't take communion.

until she goes to a priest and confesses her sins -- assuming she thinks she has sins to confess and that a priest can absolve them -- and that this has anything to do with her daughter's existential crisis

PP here. The only points I am making are that 1. this little girl's crisis won't be solved with a purchase from Amazon. She is looking for spirituality and comfort and if you ask me, joining a religios community will help her. 2. Buy-in from mom, not a book from Amazon, will help with this, and mom should go where she knows the drill, thus to the Catholics 3. At least according to my friends and the metro ads welcoming you home, the Catholic Church would be happy to have her. So I got communion rules a bit off. It is lazy thinking and a cop out to say that communion is the issue. 4. She owes her daughter some tools for thinking about faith and pretty much any religion can give a person that. The point is, it sounds like this kid needs a church, and that means mom needs to go with her.

I think going back to church is a great idea, but yeah, wanted to clarify about communion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

She can't take communion.

until she goes to a priest and confesses her sins -- assuming she thinks she has sins to confess and that a priest can absolve them -- and that this has anything to do with her daughter's existential crisis

PP here. The only points I am making are that 1. this little girl's crisis won't be solved with a purchase from Amazon. She is looking for spirituality and comfort and if you ask me, joining a religios community will help her. 2. Buy-in from mom, not a book from Amazon, will help with this, and mom should go where she knows the drill, thus to the Catholics 3. At least according to my friends and the metro ads welcoming you home, the Catholic Church would be happy to have her. So I got communion rules a bit off. It is lazy thinking and a cop out to say that communion is the issue. 4. She owes her daughter some tools for thinking about faith and pretty much any religion can give a person that. The point is, it sounds like this kid needs a church, and that means mom needs to go with her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

She can't take communion.

until she goes to a priest and confesses her sins -- assuming she thinks she has sins to confess and that a priest can absolve them -- and that this has anything to do with her daughter's existential crisis

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

Full disclosure -- better not trust a Jewish Mom mind-reader who knows the Catholic church is right for you and your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:Find a nurturing Catholic Church and go with her. It is what you know. It doesn't matter if you are agnostic. You can still go, just don't take communion if you don't feel ready.

Your question is really: my daughter is having a spiritual crisis. Where can I find an easy answer?

Walk the walk with the Catholics and she will get some spiritual knowledge and the tools to make an informed decision when she is ready.

Full disclosure: I am a Jew, as is my son.

She can't take communion.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, is anyone familiar with this Church?

http://www.stpetersinthewoods.org/

Yes, I am. It is wonderful. Rev. DeDe is caring and will take time with anyone to discuss any issues or questions you have.