Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, did everyone miss the part where OP clarified that she specifically wants a white dude? Why are we bothering to help a racist?

Omg! Was she discriminating against women when she said she wanted it to be a man as well? And against smokers when she said "non-smokers?" No one over 40 so she's an ageist as well!!! How horrible!

LMAO. Exactly. People are allowed to have preferences

Anonymous wrote:Um, did everyone miss the part where OP clarified that she specifically wants a white dude? Why are we bothering to help a racist?

Omg! Was she discriminating against women when she said she wanted it to be a man as well? And against smokers when she said "non-smokers?" No one over 40 so she's an ageist as well!!! How horrible!

Um, did everyone miss the part where OP clarified that she specifically wants a white dude? Why are we bothering to help a racist?

Anonymous wrote:Op speaking. I've decided against a ONS. I'm not seeking a relationship but I think a ONS is just too risky. I'm worried about stds and other important stuff. I think the most ideal is a friends with benefits situation. Someone to show me around DC and have sex. I definitely want to experiment sexually but the safest route would be a summer thing.

Totally up to you. I will say, there's just as much of a risk for an STD with a ONS as an ongoing FWB, you never have an assurance of a clean bill of health unless you insist on your partner getting tested first (which i have done and my friends have done- generally men are willing to accommodate if it means getting laid). Which is why condoms are really important.

But of course, do whatever you feel comfortable with. For me, a ONS turned into a FWB. He wanted to hang out more, and was amenable to sex, and that was all I wanted from him. Again, I think using your intuition is the best thing to do, asking probing questions, etc.

I have never ever had a problem with a ONS gone bad (and I have had many) and conversely I have been on the third date with a guy (no sex) and he tried to hold me down to make out with me. Anyone can pretend to be normal for a little while, so you, unfortunately, are always going to face some element of risk.

Most important thing, though, is YOU doing what you feel comfortable with. Not for a man, not worrying about what anyone else thinks- do what YOU want and you are entitled to have WHATEVER boundaries you want.

Anonymous wrote:Op speaking. I've decided against a ONS. I'm not seeking a relationship but I think a ONS is just too risky. I'm worried about stds and other important stuff. I think the most ideal is a friends with benefits situation. Someone to show me around DC and have sex. I definitely want to experiment sexually but the safest route would be a summer thing.

That sounds like a good middle ground, when you'll see them again there's better options for open conversation about what each of you want, which probably means better sex and better friendship. Definitely safer if you plan to explore rough sex or kink.

Anonymous wrote:I think these women enjoy sex and I'm jealous that all they need to do is spread their legs to satisfy their need. Not so easy for men.

You also probably don't have to deal with sexism in the workplace, street harassment, and date rape, so call it even?

Anonymous wrote:ONS = slut

And yes, you SHOULD be ashamed!

If you unironically call people sluts to insult them, you're either over 40 or just a sad human being. Either way, have a nice cup of STFU and don't get mad that we're better at life than you.

Anonymous wrote:ONS = slut

And yes, you SHOULD be ashamed!

Why should someone be ashamed? As long as it's safe, consenting adults and neither are cheating, nbd.

I think these women enjoy sex and I'm jealous that all they need to do is spread their legs to satisfy their need. Not so easy for men.

Anonymous wrote:Op speaking. I've decided against a ONS. I'm not seeking a relationship but I think a ONS is just too risky. I'm worried about stds and other important stuff. I think the most ideal is a friends with benefits situation. Someone to show me around DC and have sex. I definitely want to experiment sexually but the safest route would be a summer thing.

Yep, none of your friends ever get STDs. You sound like you're 13, OP. Friends with benefits = one of you likes the other and the other is using that person.

ONS = slut

And yes, you SHOULD be ashamed!

Op speaking. I've decided against a ONS. I'm not seeking a relationship but I think a ONS is just too risky. I'm worried about stds and other important stuff. I think the most ideal is a friends with benefits situation. Someone to show me around DC and have sex. I definitely want to experiment sexually but the safest route would be a summer thing.

There's a difference with dating, including sexual activity, with the goal of some kind of relationship, and a one-night stand. Have you heard of herpes? HIV? Do you really want to have sex with someone you barely know, with these out there? And a condom (which sucks by the way) is far from 100%. You have no idea where that person's been. I cannot believe this has not been brought up.

If I find out a woman had one-night stands, it's not the sex per se that is a turn off, it's the bad judgment. A woman who saved sex for relationships is certainly the better wife choice. More importantly, it's the better choice for the woman.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 26 year female that moved here for the summer and want to expand my horizons. I didn't have my first bf until I was 20, due to aspects of my childhood. I've had two boyfriends and that's it. I'm in this spot where I want to experience new things sexually and maybe with 1-3 more partners. I want to date around with freedom and no pressure. I feel I'm only young once and it's best I do this now instead of feeling like I missed out later in life. However, I don't know if men will still find me respectable if I have a ONS or fling. I do want marriage and family, and wouldn't want a guy to view me as less than marriage material. Men - what do you think of this? Would you care or not?

Unless you plan to give every man you date a complete blow-by-blow account of your sexual past, I don't know why ONS would be a factor. How would they even know?

OP, if you are fine with the morality of ONS, then have one. Have several. Be safe - use protection, etc.

One thing that I will say is that if you are looking for a relationship, it is hard to develop one from a ONS. When you pick someone up for casual sex, the expectation is that casual sex is what's on the menu. If what you actually want is a relationship, you need to go on dates, establish things, etc.