Anonymous wrote:OP here. Couldn't find my post for a while. To answer some questions:

-The shoes are high heels. I had them on earlier in the day and took them off when I changed into flats. When I got home, we had a dinner gathering and I put my purse in my office.
-Nephew was looking for *another* sister's shoes, not his Mom's (she wasn't over).
-Nephew was genuinely sorry and a bit nervous to tell me what happened. We have an extremely close relationship. More like mother/son, so I chastise and punish him like I do my own children!
-Yes, I was pissed at myself for dropping my phone. But not sure why that matters when *I* paid for the repair. He doesn't have a job, so no money coming from that side. And, honestly, I wouldn't take it. And I wouldn't expect my sister to pay for her adult son's clumsiness.

I hate phone protectors (so bulky), but screw it. I'm getting one now. Repair cost me $190. I'm gonna give him $100 which is a more reasonable graduation gift amount anyway.

You wouldn't take the money for the repair if he had it and offered it to you, but you take the money for the selfsame repair out of his graduation gift? It sounds like a very weird reasoning to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would deduct it. $250 is A LOT for a graduation gift anyway. I'd try and get to the bottom of why he was in my office, going through my purse, and touching my phone. He was lying when he said he was looking for shoes. I'd go through my purse and office to see what else is broken or missing. He was probably looking for money.

OP here. I have no doubt that he was being honest about this. I had shoes in my purse and I guess he pulled them out thinking they were hers. He's just clumsy as hell. I swear, every time he's over he breaks or drops something. I still have a hole in my drywall from him goofing around.

I'm just REALLY pissed. My phone just got repaired about a month ago from when I dropped it. Now, here we go again. And it's totally non-functional. Pretty sure the LCD is done because the screen won't even come on.

If you know it was a honest mistake, of course no, you don't deduct money from the graduation gift.

Already done. Did you read OP's update just above your post?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would deduct it. $250 is A LOT for a graduation gift anyway. I'd try and get to the bottom of why he was in my office, going through my purse, and touching my phone. He was lying when he said he was looking for shoes. I'd go through my purse and office to see what else is broken or missing. He was probably looking for money.

OP here. I have no doubt that he was being honest about this. I had shoes in my purse and I guess he pulled them out thinking they were hers. He's just clumsy as hell. I swear, every time he's over he breaks or drops something. I still have a hole in my drywall from him goofing around.

I'm just REALLY pissed. My phone just got repaired about a month ago from when I dropped it. Now, here we go again. And it's totally non-functional. Pretty sure the LCD is done because the screen won't even come on.

If you know it was a honest mistake, of course no, you don't deduct money from the graduation gift.

Anonymous wrote:No it was an accident FFS, be humane.

Was it also an accident that he was going through her purse to even find the phone? I would just flat out ask for him to pay to repair it. He clearly did the wrong thing, and as an adult, should be held accountable for his actions

OP here. Couldn't find my post for a while. To answer some questions:

-The shoes are high heels. I had them on earlier in the day and took them off when I changed into flats. When I got home, we had a dinner gathering and I put my purse in my office.
-Nephew was looking for *another* sister's shoes, not his Mom's (she wasn't over).
-Nephew was genuinely sorry and a bit nervous to tell me what happened. We have an extremely close relationship. More like mother/son, so I chastise and punish him like I do my own children!
-Yes, I was pissed at myself for dropping my phone. But not sure why that matters when *I* paid for the repair. He doesn't have a job, so no money coming from that side. And, honestly, I wouldn't take it. And I wouldn't expect my sister to pay for her adult son's clumsiness.

I hate phone protectors (so bulky), but screw it. I'm getting one now. Repair cost me $190. I'm gonna give him $100 which is a more reasonable graduation gift amount anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get yourself a decent cell phone case. What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you, idiot?

Blame the victim much?

Victim? Your days must be very long and unhappy...

Someone broke her property and cost her a significant sum of money. That makes her the victim.

OP - View these two topics as separate. Get the cell phone repaired with a safety case for it for a change and since you did not bring up repair expense at the time, let it go. It does sound like you are somewhat careless in how you store your cell phone and without it being in a case so maybe blame needs to be split anyway. Giving your nephew $125 - $150 graduation gift would be very reasonable with no mention of the cell phone incident as to not mar his special day.

Who the hell puts shoes in a purse? That's gross.

Anonymous wrote:no, WTF is wrong with you.

+1

Does your nephew have developmental problems? I would think a 19 year old would know not to go into or even touch a woman's purse without permission. Why would he think the shoes in your purse belonged to his mother? And even if they were, why was he taking them out? Obviously, when he pulled the shoes out (with some effort, I assume) the phone flew out of the purse and hit the floor.

The punishment for the offense should be a lecture about touching things that aren't his. If repairing the phone is a burden to you, then reduce the graduation gift but don't tell him it's smaller than it would have been. That just gets vindictive and weird.

Well, don't mention this to anyone.
No reason you need to be a b*tch to anyone
and mentioning your plan is being a b*tch.

DCUM rant is fine (though I'm not sure what you want)

Otherwise, give what you want - taking anything into consideration you want. It's your money, your decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get yourself a decent cell phone case. What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you, idiot?

Blame the victim much?

Victim? Your days must be very long and unhappy...

Anonymous wrote:I think OP needs to look up the word "gift"

Agreed. OP, you have every right to be mad and to ask for it to be fixed. But gifts are not things that get deducted. Don't tie these two very separate and unrelated issues together out of anger.

Anonymous wrote:Get yourself a decent cell phone case. What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you, idiot?

Blame the victim much?

Get yourself a decent cell phone case. What is wrong with you?