Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous situations: Trying to take off from me when in a parking lot.

Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was mad. The single swat on his covered rear end got his attention. I suppose I could have tried my Grandmother's solution -- ice cold water thrown in his face.

This was years ago when spanking was still acceptable, and in some situations expected. Even his pediatrician recommended a single swat to get him to put an end to his immediate behavior, so we could move on to dealing with whatever the issue was. Flame away, at the time it was the advice given.

How many decades ago was this? My father was a pediatrician and very critical of parents who spanked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't spank. I didn't think any normal middle class, educated parents did these days. Certainly no one I know would confess to it.

We're educated and upper middle class, and we spank. We know a number of families who also will, to varying degrees.

Anonymous wrote:Dangerous situations: Trying to take off from me when in a parking lot.

Screaming at the top of his lungs because he was mad. The single swat on his covered rear end got his attention. I suppose I could have tried my Grandmother's solution -- ice cold water thrown in his face.

This was years ago when spanking was still acceptable, and in some situations expected. Even his pediatrician recommended a single swat to get him to put an end to his immediate behavior, so we could move on to dealing with whatever the issue was. Flame away, at the time it was the advice given.

Anonymous wrote:We don't spank. I didn't think any normal middle class, educated parents did these days. Certainly no one I know would confess to it.

Anonymous wrote:We rarely do, but if they are in their own zones and need to change coarse we use it for that. Just a swat on the but to get them to pay attention and realize the severity of the situation. It works for us so we do not care what others say about this. I do not like having to repeat myself a hundred times or yell, this helps with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my kids, but I was regularly spanked by my mom growing up. Her reasons for spanking were safety issues and major, major bad behavior (e.g., one time I drew a huge drawing in pen on the wall after repeatedly being told not to draw on the wall). I am not scarred at all by spankings and actually have no ill feelings towards my mom about the spankings. My memories of the spankings are not scary or upsetting. But I think everyone and every situation is individual - my mom spanked just with her hand (no belts, etc. - where I grew up, that was considered getting whipped) and it honestly didn't hurt. Most everyone I knew growing up was spanked occasionally, so it was kind of the norm and thus I didn't think it was a big deal. In fact, my mom spanked me in public at least once - I remember grabbing a bunch of glass containers from a grocery store shelf while she was putting something in the cart and I dropped them, sending them crashing down and getting glass everywhere. She took me to the end of the aisle, checked that I was okay (no glass, cuts), and gave me a spanking right there. I am sure this would not be condoned these days, but that incident doesn't bug me. I knew people who were hit using belts, switches, etc., and we all thought that was abnormal and abusive.

So if I wasn't upset by spanking growing up, why don't I spank? My husband is against it so we agreed not to do it. We use time-outs, taking away privileges related to the bad behavior, etc.

This is such a polarizing topic, almost as bad as the breastfeeding v. formula debates.

So your mother spanked you in public for accidentally breaking some containers? And you think this was okay? Wow.

Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my kids, but I was regularly spanked by my mom growing up. Her reasons for spanking were safety issues and major, major bad behavior (e.g., one time I drew a huge drawing in pen on the wall after repeatedly being told not to draw on the wall). I am not scarred at all by spankings and actually have no ill feelings towards my mom about the spankings. My memories of the spankings are not scary or upsetting. But I think everyone and every situation is individual - my mom spanked just with her hand (no belts, etc. - where I grew up, that was considered getting whipped) and it honestly didn't hurt. Most everyone I knew growing up was spanked occasionally, so it was kind of the norm and thus I didn't think it was a big deal. In fact, my mom spanked me in public at least once - I remember grabbing a bunch of glass containers from a grocery store shelf while she was putting something in the cart and I dropped them, sending them crashing down and getting glass everywhere. She took me to the end of the aisle, checked that I was okay (no glass, cuts), and gave me a spanking right there. I am sure this would not be condoned these days, but that incident doesn't bug me. I knew people who were hit using belts, switches, etc., and we all thought that was abnormal and abusive.

So if I wasn't upset by spanking growing up, why don't I spank? My husband is against it so we agreed not to do it. We use time-outs, taking away privileges related to the bad behavior, etc.

This is such a polarizing topic, almost as bad as the breastfeeding v. formula debates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:safety violations. We've only spanked a handful of times (less than 5 for 2 kids). The last one was when my 5 yo went into the pool by herself, against my instructions. she's never done it again.

"Why do you not go into the pool by yourself?"
- "Because Mommy will beat me if I do."

I wonder if that's the lesson you wanted to teach...How about first getting over your own fear then sitting down calmly, explaining why it is dangerous, teaching your child how to swim safely and how to use the pool responsibly? I seriously don't get parents who think their spanking teaches anything but fear.

NP, but I would imagine the lesson was "Don't go into the pool by yourself."

If it takes a short time of fear to keep them alive, so be it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spanked once after TWO HOURS of trying to put DC in time-out, him getting up and running away, me carrying him back, him getting up and running away, etc.

Me too. That's the rule. If you get out of time out, you get a spanking. (starting around age 4)

They also get spankings for running across the street, hitting me, and hitting a sibling.

I don't do it out of anger. I don't really get angry, and I don't think I have ever gotten angry with my kids, but sometimes I have other shit to do besides put my 4 y/o in time out again and again.

Why would you spank your child for hitting? The punishment for hitting is hitting? That doesn't make sense and it seems to contradict the lesson.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spanked once after TWO HOURS of trying to put DC in time-out, him getting up and running away, me carrying him back, him getting up and running away, etc.

Me too. That's the rule. If you get out of time out, you get a spanking. (starting around age 4)

They also get spankings for running across the street, hitting me, and hitting a sibling.

I don't do it out of anger. I don't really get angry, and I don't think I have ever gotten angry with my kids, but sometimes I have other shit to do besides put my 4 y/o in time out again and again.

Why would you spank your child for hitting? The punishment for hitting is hitting? That doesn't make sense and it seems to contradict the lesson.

Anonymous wrote:I feel that spanking creates a scared child, and later that fear comes out as anger.