Anonymous wrote:Most people who think they are "Pollyannas" think that way because they refuse to deal with other peoples' negative emotions. They don't process any criticism of themselves and they don't deal with any situation that involves anger, pain, or problems. They shut down and shut it out. If someone refers to herself as a Pollyanna, my radar for mental health issues is immediately triggered. There's something seriously wrong. And they are usually very angry, bitter, and upset inside it all.

This. A real Pollyanna is someone who always looks for the bright side of situations and tries to find the good in everyone. OP isn't a Pollyanna if she's putting down her daughter and making snarky comments about her lack of musical ability.

She is hanging her hat on your constant approval still, you cannot have a "friend" type of relationship with her. so you cannot be youself like you would with your siblings or something. Sorry.

Most people who think they are "Pollyannas" think that way because they refuse to deal with other peoples' negative emotions. They don't process any criticism of themselves and they don't deal with any situation that involves anger, pain, or problems. They shut down and shut it out. If someone refers to herself as a Pollyanna, my radar for mental health issues is immediately triggered. There's something seriously wrong. And they are usually very angry, bitter, and upset inside it all.

You know, my dad thinks I am a downer because Health issues prevent me and my husband from having as much energy as he would like us to have. He thinks I am a downer. I think I'm just tired and he is aggressive and without compassion.

"Oh wow you and your husband just spent $2k+ on a piano. Who on earth is it for? Must not be for you since you suck and can't play. It must be for your husband or the kids"

GREAT response, OP sounds like a really nice person.

I am just really appreciative of all the DCUM posters on this thread, consistent and spot on. So many posts I wanted to give a "+1".

Is anyone else disappointed we didn't hear anything more from the OP?

Come on, OP, tell us more about your Debbie downer DD!

Mom?

I had to double check the age, to make sure I wasn't the downer daughter excited about her piano.

OP that description of your daughter took my breath away. I cannot imagine ever, ever describing my daughters that way. And they are fully grown, too. They are and always have been the light of my life, mainly because I accept who they are and love them for it, even though I am a different person.

Sadly, your daughter told you exactly what she needed to hear from you and you still don't get it. The only good news is that I bet she is a wonderful mother to her children, hopefully she gives to them what she doesn't get from you.