Anonymous
05/16/2015 10:37
Subject: Re:husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:I work with a lot of Saudis, both here and in the Kingdom. Some of them don't segregate in their own homes, at all. Everyone has dinner together, and no veiling in the home. It just depends on how conservative people are. It's not as if every American is a Fox News watching right wing arch conservative, either.
Some don't, but many do. It just depends. And fyi, they may mingle and not veil with Westerners, but in a 100% Saudi company, there will be a lot more segregation and veiling because it's a very judgmental society and rules are different for the inside.
Anonymous
05/16/2015 10:36
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
Your husband would not introduce you to his male friends as this is seen as disrespectful. There should be avenues for you to meet other women, though.
Is the mosque not turning out to be productive in terms of meeting people? Most universities have an MSA group, so try there as well.
I have to ask: do your contacts HAVE to be through a mosque? I find the mosque scene boring, ethnically insular and just dull. If you grew up in Uzbekistan, I am assuming you are comfortable with a secular lifestyle and honestly should not be relying on your husband to engineer your social life. You know what you want, he doesn't. Go out there and make friends. I say this as a Russian wife of a Saudi husband. But we are older, secular and have built lives before meeting and marrying.
Don't reproduce with him for a while before this is sorted out. You have no idea how limiting babies are.
I didn't have issues finding friends in DC, but Athens is so different. I haven't had any luck at mosque. There are maybe 10-15 females there weekly.
But why does it have to be through a mosque? This is what I asked. You are at a major university town, right? Aren't there usually all kinds of social outlets at a university? Go to an International students' office and ask for their social calendar. They always have functions going on. Take a class, go to a lecture, you don't have to lock yourself into a halaqa ghetto.
Anonymous
05/16/2015 06:10
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
I cannot imagine a life like this. I feel like I'm looking back in time a few thousand years.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 15:35
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Good news. Tomorrow there's a Muslim couples event. My husband said he will call all his friends to invite them so that I can meet their wives.
Awesome!
Anonymous
05/15/2015 15:14
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Op here. Good news. Tomorrow there's a Muslim couples event. My husband said he will call all his friends to invite them so that I can meet their wives.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 14:52
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
Your husband would not introduce you to his male friends as this is seen as disrespectful. There should be avenues for you to meet other women, though.
Is the mosque not turning out to be productive in terms of meeting people? Most universities have an MSA group, so try there as well.
I have to ask: do your contacts HAVE to be through a mosque? I find the mosque scene boring, ethnically insular and just dull. If you grew up in Uzbekistan, I am assuming you are comfortable with a secular lifestyle and honestly should not be relying on your husband to engineer your social life. You know what you want, he doesn't. Go out there and make friends. I say this as a Russian wife of a Saudi husband. But we are older, secular and have built lives before meeting and marrying.
Don't reproduce with him for a while before this is sorted out. You have no idea how limiting babies are.
I didn't have issues finding friends in DC, but Athens is so different. I haven't had any luck at mosque. There are maybe 10-15 females there weekly.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 14:44
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
Your husband would not introduce you to his male friends as this is seen as disrespectful. There should be avenues for you to meet other women, though.
Is the mosque not turning out to be productive in terms of meeting people? Most universities have an MSA group, so try there as well.
I have to ask: do your contacts HAVE to be through a mosque? I find the mosque scene boring, ethnically insular and just dull. If you grew up in Uzbekistan, I am assuming you are comfortable with a secular lifestyle and honestly should not be relying on your husband to engineer your social life. You know what you want, he doesn't. Go out there and make friends. I say this as a Russian wife of a Saudi husband. But we are older, secular and have built lives before meeting and marrying.
Don't reproduce with him for a while before this is sorted out. You have no idea how limiting babies are.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 14:40
Subject: Re:husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
I work with a lot of Saudis, both here and in the Kingdom. Some of them don't segregate in their own homes, at all. Everyone has dinner together, and no veiling in the home. It just depends on how conservative people are. It's not as if every American is a Fox News watching right wing arch conservative, either.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 14:37
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe invite some of the couples over for dinner? You can get to know them that way.
This is not always an option as some Muslims don't mix as couples. It has to be female party or male party.
Even the most conservative Muslims mix as couples, with the caveat that couples are separated at the point of entering the house of their hosts. So, OP with her husband goes to dinner, boys go to the room on the left, girls go to the room on the right.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 14:23
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
He's got some seriously conservative friends.
Yes, they're mostly Saudi and Egyptian.
My husband's Egyptian. They don't do any of that segregation business. Is your husband "sure" they'd mind? Can't speak to Saudi.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 14:20
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
He's got some seriously conservative friends.
Yes, they're mostly Saudi and Egyptian.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 12:47
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
He's got some seriously conservative friends.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 12:39
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Maybe start a book club? You could target your own age group. Or join a book club if the local bookstore runs any. Your husband sounds odd. Does he want you to be depressed and lonely so you're dependent on him?
I honestly don't know. Am so depressed to be here. I have been travelling to dc to see friends one weekend a month. He thinks I should be happy to hava nice house etc etc. He doesn't see the value in friends.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 12:36
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Anonymous wrote:Has he introduced you to his friends as well?
If not, then it seems he is ashamed of you.
Which is pretty crummy.
He's introduced me to south Asian friends because they allow female/ males to mix. Hasn't introduced me to arab friends though.
Anonymous
05/15/2015 07:32
Subject: husband won't introduce me to his friends wife's
Maybe start a book club? You could target your own age group. Or join a book club if the local bookstore runs any. Your husband sounds odd. Does he want you to be depressed and lonely so you're dependent on him?