Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see three issues:

-- You seem to care for but also loathe your step child (that loathing can't be completely hidden from her...it's not even hidden here)

-- Your husband is her parent and isn't parenting

-- She had some real issue that would benefit from seeing a medical specialist and therapist, if the peeing story is true

+1 ridiculous for you to say, you, "recently found out that she will also just pee in her pants whenever she feels like it." If she does that, how did you just find out about it? I feel like believing 1/2 of what you represent as your reality through the distortion of your dislike for the kid, the utter hatred for "the other home," and your holier than thou attitude (compare to her mom's home.)

Holy shit. I truly don't understand all the venom being directed at the OP. Maybe the step daughter just recently starting peeing in her pants! Is that not feasible? Anyway, OP, I hope you are able to get your DD the care she needs to turn this situation around. I don't envy you.

Anonymous wrote:I see three issues:

-- You seem to care for but also loathe your step child (that loathing can't be completely hidden from her...it's not even hidden here)

-- Your husband is her parent and isn't parenting

-- She had some real issue that would benefit from seeing a medical specialist and therapist, if the peeing story is true

+1 ridiculous for you to say, you, "recently found out that she will also just pee in her pants whenever she feels like it." If she does that, how did you just find out about it? I feel like believing 1/2 of what you represent as your reality through the distortion of your dislike for the kid, the utter hatred for "the other home," and your holier than thou attitude (compare to her mom's home.)

Any updates OP?

Could someone be abusing her and she is avoiding unwanted attention?

Sounds like she is stuck in the anal stage of Freud's psychosexual development.

Anal-expulsive personality. I am guess that is when her parents were having major issues or divorcing.

My God. OP, I know everyone has said it, but it bears repeating: this girl needs help. I have a smelly 11 year old. He farts a lot and forgets to put on deodorant and will go several days without showering if I don't remind him and none of his friends gives him a "dude, you reek" check. Intentional urinating in one's pants is another thing entirely. If he did that, we'd be at the psych's office so fast you'd hear the sonic boom from wherever you are.

She has serious mental health issues that cause this behavior. She needs to be in a therapist's office ASAP. Get referrals from the pediatrician. Poor kid needs a lot of help and it will only get worse once hormones kick in.

Anonymous wrote:At 11 yo, my DD had horrible hygiene. There were skid marks, and we had to fight her to shower. If you are exaggerating the wetting, then you are looking at regular 5th grader behavior...She will clean up in middle school.

No it is not, not to the extent that OP claims. What OP is dealing with is a child with emotional/psychological issues.

OP, can you update? Happened on this looking for something else and was hoping things had gotten better.

Anonymous wrote:How does nobody notice that she peed her pants? If that is true, maybe she can't control herself but is too embarrassed to admit it. Makes her feel more in control to simply tell you she did it on purpose.

Hmm.

PP here....on the first day of the sixth grade, her teacher came up with class rules. One was deodorant....the kids are just learning these things.

At 11 yo, my DD had horrible hygiene. There were skid marks, and we had to fight her to shower. If you are exaggerating the wetting, then you are looking at regular 5th grader behavior...She will clean up in middle school.

Nobody would associate with her if at that age she had pee pee pants and underarm funk. Maybe she only does this at your house ?

Make her launder her dirty panties. She's old enough to hand wash her own underwear. Natural deodorant ? Secret for her. That stuff would kill any stink.

Find another girl her age that is the complete opposite. A kid telling another kid to keep clean will work.

"YOUR" house. Her "OTHER" family? WTH is wrong with you OP?

Anonymous wrote:thsi is mental illness manifesting itself. poor girl

I agree, something is seriously wrong and every adult in her life is failing her by either turning a blind eye or focusing on the hygiene and not what would be causing her to do this to herself.