Anonymous wrote:We had an abusive and inappropriate coach on our girls soccer team. He was waaay too "chummy" in a creepy way to the prettier girls. He got into screaming fights with the other coaches. He played the same 3 girls constantly and 3 other girls never played. Finally the admin red flagged him again and again and he was asked to leave. We should have left long before that. Just because someone is a volunteer does not give them free pass to do whatever they want. LISTEN to your DC. A lot of things go on that make kids want to quit a team.

Ok...I guess this is the part where people add facts and reflect their own exepriences. OP's son said he does not want to play anymore. Nowhere did OP say that the coach was doing something inappropriate towards the kids. That's a no brainer and, fortunately, not the OP's situation.

We had an abusive and inappropriate coach on our girls soccer team. He was waaay too "chummy" in a creepy way to the prettier girls. He got into screaming fights with the other coaches. He played the same 3 girls constantly and 3 other girls never played. Finally the admin red flagged him again and again and he was asked to leave. We should have left long before that. Just because someone is a volunteer does not give them free pass to do whatever they want. LISTEN to your DC. A lot of things go on that make kids want to quit a team.

It depends upon the reason. If he is a valuable member of the team and playing every game he should finish. If he is injured, he is Ok to quit. Or if he is over scheduled and there are other players who can fill in go ahead and quit. Just staying on a team that is not working for your DC is not a good experience either. In some cases children need o learn that it is OK to drop something that is clearly not working for them. Sometimes coaches are unreasonable to the point of injuring the players -- there is no reason to stay in that case. Time is valuable to young kids as well as adults. Thee are other things he could be doing in that time.

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Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.

the league failed your team then. switch to another league.

FFS- in some communities there aren't multiple rec leagues from which to pick. So assuming you're the same PP- you're going to blame the coach and league for YOUR inability to stick with a commitment?!? If the league went with fewer teams and more players would you complain that your little snowflake wasn't getting enough playing time?

What the former coach PP described is a very common practice among rec leagues. Your response perfectly encapsulates why volunteer coaching of rec leagues is one of the most thankless jobs around. Yes- everyone failed EXCEPT the parents and kid who quit. Got it.

PP coach here. After this past means experience, I am done with coaching. I am 51 years old, and I do not need this aggravation. I love spending time with the kids...I love teaching...but I am more than a babysitter, and I am not paid. More than not being paid, I have to take time out of work to coach.

i hope you also let the league know 7/8 players per team is ridiculous. seriously, 7 players? you'd do the coaches after you a huge favor for speaking out.

The problem is not the league, it is the league's customers: the parents. Everyone wants there snowflake to play. When you have parents saying the kids will be there, but then don't show up, I have already made up my schedule for who plays when -- at least for the first 3 quarters. 4th Q, I go with who is playing well and the game situation. I had one parent tell me that if there kid did not play all four quarters, they will quit....I told them if I had them play all for Q's, we would forfeit the game...and referred them to the commish....

Bottom line: if you want playing time, the teams have to be small enough to require a commitment.

Anonymous wrote:Could you tell me why many think it's not ideal to quit a team sport in the middle of season, even if DC no longer enjoys it? I may not be thinking this straight but there's still more than a month left and DC is miserable already, and I fear forcing him to continue will kill it for him. That's the least I want to see happen.

In our household quitting is not an option..period. Once our children commit to doing something we make sure they see it through, if when it is over they wish to not continue we allow them that option it is setting up a very bad habit in life when they're allowed to quit when things don't go quite their way

Actually, you don't want anymore than 8 players for basketball. At 8, 4 kids get to play 3 quarters, and 4 kids get to play 2 quarters. My son was always the 2 quarter kid. He was OK, but not great. If there were more kids, he'd barely get any playing time.

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Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.

the league failed your team then. switch to another league.

FFS- in some communities there aren't multiple rec leagues from which to pick. So assuming you're the same PP- you're going to blame the coach and league for YOUR inability to stick with a commitment?!? If the league went with fewer teams and more players would you complain that your little snowflake wasn't getting enough playing time?

What the former coach PP described is a very common practice among rec leagues. Your response perfectly encapsulates why volunteer coaching of rec leagues is one of the most thankless jobs around. Yes- everyone failed EXCEPT the parents and kid who quit. Got it.

PP coach here. After this past means experience, I am done with coaching. I am 51 years old, and I do not need this aggravation. I love spending time with the kids...I love teaching...but I am more than a babysitter, and I am not paid. More than not being paid, I have to take time out of work to coach.

i hope you also let the league know 7/8 players per team is ridiculous. seriously, 7 players? you'd do the coaches after you a huge favor for speaking out.

Two sports in one season is too much, in my opinion.

NP here whose husband is a volunteer coach in a rec league. Just agreeing from the spouse's perspective that it can be a thankless job, and wanted to offer my sympathies to the PP coaches. I've seen how the attitudes of the parents, more so even than the attitudes of the kids (!), can make or break a rec league team.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.

the league failed your team then. switch to another league.

FFS- in some communities there aren't multiple rec leagues from which to pick. So assuming you're the same PP- you're going to blame the coach and league for YOUR inability to stick with a commitment?!? If the league went with fewer teams and more players would you complain that your little snowflake wasn't getting enough playing time?

What the former coach PP described is a very common practice among rec leagues. Your response perfectly encapsulates why volunteer coaching of rec leagues is one of the most thankless jobs around. Yes- everyone failed EXCEPT the parents and kid who quit. Got it.

PP coach here. After this past means experience, I am done with coaching. I am 51 years old, and I do not need this aggravation. I love spending time with the kids...I love teaching...but I am more than a babysitter, and I am not paid. More than not being paid, I have to take time out of work to coach.

I am the other PP coach. I quit as well. I was a rec and a club coach for 10 years. Played the sport in college that I coached. I never charged my own expenses or for my time. There was no coaches fee. Missed some of my own kids' games to coach. I loved working with the kids and I loved seeing my former players go on to successful HS and sometimes college careers. I also was fortunate enough to meet some nice parents who appreciated the time I put in and that I was spending time away from my family and interests. MOST parents are great. But it was a half dozen or so parents over the years that really soured me on coaching. Not getting kids there for pratices and/or games. Having to chase them down for dues. Yelling from the stands. Undermining my coaching. And as is evident here, not taking seriously the commitment that others have made to benefit their kids.

Having coached myself and seeing my kids' coaches, having a committed coach at any level should not be taken for granted. So I am sorry to hear that you are quitting, but I completely understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.

the league failed your team then. switch to another league.

FFS- in some communities there aren't multiple rec leagues from which to pick. So assuming you're the same PP- you're going to blame the coach and league for YOUR inability to stick with a commitment?!? If the league went with fewer teams and more players would you complain that your little snowflake wasn't getting enough playing time?

What the former coach PP described is a very common practice among rec leagues. Your response perfectly encapsulates why volunteer coaching of rec leagues is one of the most thankless jobs around. Yes- everyone failed EXCEPT the parents and kid who quit. Got it.

PP coach here. After this past means experience, I am done with coaching. I am 51 years old, and I do not need this aggravation. I love spending time with the kids...I love teaching...but I am more than a babysitter, and I am not paid. More than not being paid, I have to take time out of work to coach.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.

the league failed your team then. switch to another league.

FFS- in some communities there aren't multiple rec leagues from which to pick. So assuming you're the same PP- you're going to blame the coach and league for YOUR inability to stick with a commitment?!? If the league went with fewer teams and more players would you complain that your little snowflake wasn't getting enough playing time?

What the former coach PP described is a very common practice among rec leagues. Your response perfectly encapsulates why volunteer coaching of rec leagues is one of the most thankless jobs around. Yes- everyone failed EXCEPT the parents and kid who quit. Got it.

We quit mid-season because of a coaching issue. Didn't trust my kid around the coach. Plenty of other kids so no one was left in trouble.

Some teams have a full bench, some do not. Don't quit an 11 v 11 soccer team with 13 kids. You can quit one with 18, but you can't register again next season.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.

the league failed your team then. switch to another league.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Actaully, you assume I had a say in how many kids I get. We did a draft. The league decided there would be 7-8 kids per team. Each team picked 1 player in round 1...I picked first (because my DD was the weakest of the coaches kid), second round I picked last....etc... I can not go out and recruit additional kids. You have no idea how rec sports work.