Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a super regular churchgoer, and can be characterized as a somewhat reluctant attendee (I have many, many years of church under my belt). That said: our church got a new pastor, and during one of his first handful of services I attended there was a SCREAMING baby. And he stood at the front of the church and said that we as a congregation welcome the sounds of children among us. It was so perfect. He made a point that a crying child wasn't a disturbance to a perfectly serious sermon but was a reminder of new life in our church. THAT is the attitude that won me over.

That is the attitude that would make me leave. I don't want to hear anyone's screaming child, for any reason. Keep it at home.

Responding to myself- it's not only screaming. Chattering and talking with no parent removal: nope. And then screaming, no way. They will never see me again if that is not addressed and told to leave.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a super regular churchgoer, and can be characterized as a somewhat reluctant attendee (I have many, many years of church under my belt). That said: our church got a new pastor, and during one of his first handful of services I attended there was a SCREAMING baby. And he stood at the front of the church and said that we as a congregation welcome the sounds of children among us. It was so perfect. He made a point that a crying child wasn't a disturbance to a perfectly serious sermon but was a reminder of new life in our church. THAT is the attitude that won me over.

That is the attitude that would make me leave. I don't want to hear anyone's screaming child, for any reason. Keep it at home.

Anonymous wrote:No I wouldn't have, but I would have also respected my host church enough not to bring a 14 month old to a church service.

I don't understand what kind of religion doesn't allow kids to attend a service. This is boggling my mind.

I wouldn't leave my child with strangers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a situation in which you get a babysitter. There are lots of activities that are really for adults and are not meant for toddlers. That doesn't mean that you have to leave your kid at the unfamiliar nursery; it means you make other plans in advance. I would never assume I could take a young toddler to a church service....

But you're obviously very comfortable assuming everyone who wants to go to church has the funds and resources to hire a babysitter. Every. Sunday.

That is an absurd and entitled assumption to make.

OP, seeing this for the first time: I feel so sorry for this person who wouldn't asssume her child was welcome in church. I'm really sorry your experiences led you to that thought.

Anonymous wrote:This is a situation in which you get a babysitter. There are lots of activities that are really for adults and are not meant for toddlers. That doesn't mean that you have to leave your kid at the unfamiliar nursery; it means you make other plans in advance. I would never assume I could take a young toddler to a church service....

But you're obviously very comfortable assuming everyone who wants to go to church has the funds and resources to hire a babysitter. Every. Sunday.

That is an absurd and entitled assumption to make.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in a church nursery for years and we had one time visitors all the time. All staff members were CPR and first aid trained and had background checks upon hire. Many had been on staff for years. Why wouldn't you leave your child in the nursery?

Because I don't know you (and don't know you know CPR or had a background check) and neither does my child. Have you met a 14 month old?

+1
I don't trust strangers just because they are located in the church nursery.

So much pearl-clutching.

Totally agree. I might not do it if the kid freaked out but really, you all think church nurseries are full of pedophiles and abductors just waiting to prey on your kid? COME ON.

I mean, we regularly gave the kids who came to nursey alcohol and broken glass for snack, but other than that it was a really safe, nuturing environment.

Give me a break, people.

I'm totally fine with you all thinking I'm a "pearl-clutcher". And I totally agree with the PP who said "I don't know you, nor do I know you're CPR certified and had background checks". The truth is, there is so much variety in church daycares/nurseries/youth groups, I think it's insane NOT to check it out first and make sure the environment is right. Of course I don't think you'll feed my child glass and alcohol, but I also don't know how good your supervision is, what toys/items you leave around in the area kids are cared for in, or what the other kids act like.

Just that last point alone, how the other kids act, is a huge one right there. You could have very nice staff but a couple of obnoxious pushy kids. I don't have a clue if you handle it or let it go unless I hang out with you and my kid and check it out. Can't believe that many people just walk in and hand their kids to strangers, no matter how well-meaning or nice the church seems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with leaving my child with a strange church nursery -- but I would be very upset by a church member telling me my child is not welcome at a service.

There may be some churches that prefer to exclude babies and children from a service. Those are not the type of church I would want to attend. If someone told me that, I would contact the pastor/priest and tell them about it, letting them know how unwelcome I felt at such a place.

Even as a one time visitor?

One time visitor or not, wouldn't there eventually have to be a first time you left DC in the nursery? And you/he wouldn't necessarily know the people in charge since it would likely be a rotating set of volunteers?

This. Wouldn't everyone's first time at church with their child be the first time they are leaving them in a "strange" church nursery? Everyone does it at one point or another that is a regular. So I don't really see the problem.

Wow, the last 2 posters really surprise me! NP to this thread, and frankly NO WAY do I leave my child - of any age! - with staff of a church where everyone is a stranger. We went to a few churches when we moved to DMV, our child was 3-4 while we were checking places out. Because she was young and restless, DH and I would take turns, one of us in the child care/nursery/youth group with DD, the other checking out the service. Then we'd switch, and if we liked the church, we'd switch which parts we each went to. But while one was in the service, the other was getting to know the child care staff or volunteers, the routines, the environment... all of that.

NO WAY would we show up once and leave our child with strangers. And if we were usually allowed to bring our child into service, we'd still go check out childcare/youth program to see if that's a good fit too, because yes, eventually we want to be able to be comfy sending her there without staying ourselves. We only get that comfort by checking it out several times first.

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with leaving my child with a strange church nursery -- but I would be very upset by a church member telling me my child is not welcome at a service.

There may be some churches that prefer to exclude babies and children from a service. Those are not the type of church I would want to attend. If someone told me that, I would contact the pastor/priest and tell them about it, letting them know how unwelcome I felt at such a place.

+1

And I have left my kid in a strange church nursery. I know some churches are more uptight about noisy kids than others. But if someone told me that I HAD to leave a kid in a nursery, I would be tempted to give them a piece of my mind and I would certainly politely inform the pastor and move on.

Anonymous wrote:OP, how did you respond, anyway? You say the woman was adamant, so did you leave? Or just bring your kid back to your seat until end of service? I'm also curious as to whether she was a church official, or just some random church-goer. I absolutely know a couple of busy body women who seem to enjoy playing that role when they don't have any authority to do so (and who are just as likely to act like their personal opinion is a hard and fast rule).

I would have asked the woman if it is a church rule, or just a general preference of some of the congregation. Then I would also have said "well, I'm not taking him to the nursery, so, do you want us to leave right now in the middle of the service?" I'm not saying that would get you anywhere but that's how I'd respond.

DH kept him outside until the end of the service. I didn't know it had happened until afterwards. I believe she was an usher, but I could be wrong.

OP, how did you respond, anyway? You say the woman was adamant, so did you leave? Or just bring your kid back to your seat until end of service? I'm also curious as to whether she was a church official, or just some random church-goer. I absolutely know a couple of busy body women who seem to enjoy playing that role when they don't have any authority to do so (and who are just as likely to act like their personal opinion is a hard and fast rule).

I would have asked the woman if it is a church rule, or just a general preference of some of the congregation. Then I would also have said "well, I'm not taking him to the nursery, so, do you want us to leave right now in the middle of the service?" I'm not saying that would get you anywhere but that's how I'd respond.

Anonymous wrote:No I wouldn't have, but I would have also respected my host church enough not to bring a 14 month old to a church service.

LOL.

Have you actually even been to church or read the Bible?

No I wouldn't have, but I would have also respected my host church enough not to bring a 14 month old to a church service.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in a church nursery for years and we had one time visitors all the time. All staff members were CPR and first aid trained and had background checks upon hire. Many had been on staff for years. Why wouldn't you leave your child in the nursery?

Because I don't know you (and don't know you know CPR or had a background check) and neither does my child. Have you met a 14 month old?

+1
I don't trust strangers just because they are located in the church nursery.

So much pearl-clutching.

Totally agree. I might not do it if the kid freaked out but really, you all think church nurseries are full of pedophiles and abductors just waiting to prey on your kid? COME ON.

I mean, we regularly gave the kids who came to nursey alcohol and broken glass for snack, but other than that it was a really safe, nuturing environment.

Give me a break, people.

I've also never heard of a church that requires little kids to go to the nursery. Children need the blessings of God just as much as adults do!