Ivy league pre-school syndrome.

In earlier times, parents considered themselves lucky to have enough food from their own farm’s harvest to feed their children. Even more fortunate parents had time to allow their kids to attend the one room schoolhouse and get a job that paid more than farming. Public schools improved and work modernized, and pretty soon every kid went to school. Women dramatically increased their participation in the workforce and with perfect timing, consumer culture dramatically expanded the material desires of these parents to allow the increased family income to be poured into more luxury spending disguised as necessities – instead of more leisure time.

And now, here we are, when today’s parents believe they need a 7-passenger SUV for the “safety” of their children, they need to take trips to Disneyland for family entertainment, and they need to put their kids into exclusive private schools and even fancy preschools, as well as horseback and violin lessons from trained professionals in various surrounding towns, in order to keep them ahead in “the increasingly competitive world out there”. By pure coincidence, all of these needs happen to be very expensive ones that clever entrepreneurs and companies are making a lot of money from.

Did you ever notice how you never see a strong international trend of parents spending more time with their kids, or people canceling their TV service and reading more, or local parks and natural areas becoming increasingly flooded with parents playing with their children? Hmm.. why is this? Is it because we’ve learned that these activities are not good for our kids so we have wised up and replaced them with organized and expensive activities? Or is it because nobody is making money off of these alternative ways and nobody gets to look rich doing them, and thus the Marketing and Social Competition Engine is not tricking us into doing them?

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/12/avoiding-ivy-league-preschool-syndrome/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Well you'd have a chip on your shoulder too if you walked around all day with the sneaking suspicion that people were laughing at you behind you back for being kind of, um, dim. "Right" if passsage, indeed.

Rite of passage

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

Sort of, not really - depends on the circumstances.

RE dance and sports (and I lump music into this category): If you have a kid who is passionate about something, and/or is very talented at it, it feels very wrong to forgo that activity because of money (assuming that you can make it work). My son is a very talented cellist - his teacher and judges at competitions have deemed his talent "extraordinary." His musical activities are extremely expensive: We spend $80/week for private lessons; $3-4K/summer for camps; and $1,000/year for youth orchestra fees (not including tickets to performances). His instrument cost $5,000 (the bow another $1,000) and he will need to upgrade in the next year or two.

Are these expenses optional? Of course. Will we eventually get them back in some way (scholarships, etc.)? Unlikely. Would we opt out of all of this and save thousands per year? No, because the impact on his quality of life and experience of his childhood and adolescence would be significant.

RE "shoving" kids into summer camps: If you work during the summer, you need to have your kids in an organized childcare situation of some kind or another. You can hire a babysitter and let them have their "rite of passage" (?) summer hanging at the pool with friends, except that (1) babysitters are expensive and this would likely be more expensive than summer camps; and (2) pool memberships are expensive, too; and (3) their friends are probably not at the pool - they are in summer camps.

"Rite of passage"
Know it, love it, use it.

Mostly just the child care, but also those things that you can't plan for.

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

Right of passage? Try summer of bordom. My DD had that one year...plans got canceled, and we were home all summer.

My (13 yo) DD loves the three week sleepaway camp. It is expensive, but it is teaching her independence.

I had a baby last year. I've always thought we had pretty good insurance, but between OB visits, giving birth, seeing multiple specialists due to various (minor) health issues, our medical bills alone added up to $8,000 for 2014. Sure, you can cut costs here and there with consignment clothes and toys, but yeah, in general, kids are expensive, but completely worth it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Whoa! I obviously struck a chord! Such interesting reactions. Maybe all of you have chips on your shoulders and feel guilt for ignoring your kids? I dunno...hmmm....

Nice try starting a mommy war.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Whoa! I obviously struck a chord! Such interesting reactions. Maybe all of you have chips on your shoulders and feel guilt for ignoring your kids? I dunno...hmmm....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Well you'd have a chip on your shoulder too if you walked around all day with the sneaking suspicion that people were laughing at you behind you back for being kind of, um, dim. "Right" if passsage, indeed.

I am not sure why you are such a sad person and why you need to attack others, i will pray for you.

Childcare is obviously the #1 cost, but I do think that a lot of DC residents sort of shoot themselves in the foot in that category - they pick a luxury option and then complain that it's expensive. A daycare center right in the heart of downtown can easily run you 2.2k+ a month, but that same center closer to home is probably more like 1.5K, and that same center just outside in the district in the close-in burbs is more like 1.2-1.4k. A licensed in-home provider, who can provide more tailored care, could be even less.

Once the kids are older, it's after-care plus sports/dance/piano, tutoring if your kid needs it, etc - not that as much savings as you'd hope for after paying for full-time daycare for five years.

Travel is hugely expensive with little kids - they need their own seat after 2, and for us airfare was already the most expensive part of traveling anyway.

If one of your kids is sick, or simply has an issue that requires tracking, then that's a lot of specialist appointments - that costs you time & money. My kids' specialists only have appointments on Wednesday afternoons - obviously that eats into my leave time.

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

I am sorry, the "right of passage" you describe requires either a stay at home parent or full time babysitter. Camp is a thriving business exactly because it s needed childcare.

The level of sports and lessons is optional, but we do not push our kids or have dreams of professional sports careers for them, we do give them activiities and they add up. If I had a child that was passionate about a sport I would consider supporting what is driven by the child's goals. I have a child that is passionate about music and equals $300+/month in music lessons. I will not be disappointed if she does not end up in Broadway, in fact, I hope this is a lifelong hobby that brings her joy and she has a more stable career. But we give her these lessons to support what she is interested in.

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

Have you seen how much it costs to join the pool?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Well you'd have a chip on your shoulder too if you walked around all day with the sneaking suspicion that people were laughing at you behind you back for being kind of, um, dim. "Right" if passsage, indeed.

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder