Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 23:39     Subject: Re:S/o cheating with no guilt
I agree with original poster. I don't see what the big deal is. For the record, I am a woman as well. My husband has really let himself go and I am no longer attracted to him. Plus, he's kind of mean to me. I used to not understand how on earth people would cheat...but since he has decided that he doesn't care whether I find him physically attracted..I guess I feel like it shouldn't be a surprise to him that I have had a one-time hook-up with another man. I don't feel guilty about it. It happened once. My husband will never know. I have some much fun replaying the experience in my head. It was nice to feel physically attracted to someone again. I love my husband as a person, but I want to feel physically attracted to someone and with all his extra weight I find him repulsive physically. We can have our intellectual relationship and raise our kids together, but any chance I have to connect physically and sexually with another person, I'm going to take it!
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 22:22     Subject: S/o cheating with no guilt
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Because when you truly love and care about another person, just the fact that you were naked with someone else stirs up a lot of guilt.

If I truly love someone and that someone has always been good to me, the thought of hurting them would rack a lot of guilt on my end.

I am just very human and have tons of empathy. Not everyone else does and to each his own.

I can only speak for myself on this...


I'm currently having an affair. Yes it is super hot and we both have feeling for each other but the two of us are married. We are struggling with the guilt factor but the sex is so good and there is such a deep connection that it erases some of guilt. We would probably not continue this if we didn't feel the deep connection. I would have a hard time cheating with someone I did not care for as much as my AP. I've turned down multiple opportunities to cheat before. This is my first affair. Don't know when it will end or how it will impact our marriages in the long term but we both have agreed that leaving our spouses for each other is within the realm of possibility.


Do you both have kids?
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 22:17     Subject: S/o cheating with no guilt
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only cheater who feels zero guilt?

I have never cheated on my husband, but before I got married, I cheated on boyfriends and felt no guilt about it. I just don't see the big deal about quietly getting my rocks off with someone else on a one-time basis. Honestly, if my guy was screwing someone he didn't love, I don't think I would give much of a shit, as long as he had protected sex, it wasn't another man, he didn't love the person or give them any money, and it wasn't public knowledge. Why are genitals rubbing together the source of so much pain for people?

Reading the thread about the woman who slept with another guy while overseas, I am just baffled by her histrionics. So, you screwed another guy. Fix your skirt, pat your hair, and carry on with life. I could understand her panic if she got caught, but I just can't understand why the act itself, without being caught, had her all in a tizzy.

Sometimes, I feel as if I must be a robot. I don't get most people's emotions. And no, this isn't a troll post. I have struggled all my life to understand why cheating is such a big deal (assuming the other person isn't a relative or something).


This reads like a male writer to me.


OP here. Lol! This thread is really proving helpful to me in a totally different way than I expected. If people are 100% sure that I am male just from this post, then this is really helpful to understanding why I have such trouble forming bonds of sympathy with other women in real life. I am 100% woman and if you saw me, you would never mistake me for anything else. But I totally feel completely unlike other women and I have almost all male friends. I am like a man in a woman's body, but I am not transgender nor do I have any desire to be.


Dumb. What's the point of being married and making vows under God if you're going to go around and cheat and rub genitals with every Joe? Why not just not marry and give your husband to someone who won't rub genitals with everyone?
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 12:31     Subject: Re:S/o cheating with no guilt
OP is the type woman who would throw another woman under the bus in an office meeting-just completely disloyal, arrogant, disillusioned, and probably really shallow emotionally. You don't have woman friends because you devalue women, just as you devalue yourself when you think that sex for women has no emotional currency. You don't engage with women so that when you sleep with their husbands, you can tell yourself that their wives are barely people, just inferior weaklings--and then you can sleep at night thinking you've pulled one over on a lesser being than yourself, so what does it matter. You're a woman alright. You're the type of woman that has always existed since before the women's movement--you think it means you're more evolved. It doesn't. You're just shallow and self-loathing. When you are older and your looks have faded you will find yourself in a very dark place emotionally. I hope you never have daughters, for their sake.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 12:08     Subject: Re:S/o cheating with no guilt
Not everyone is meant for monogamy.

Some people like having someone waiting at home for them, and having others (one or more) on the side. If you fall into this category, then it is not unfathomable to find someone who is OK with an open marriage and you can have everything you want.

But I think it is destructive to lead this double life and betray your spouse, for all parties involved.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 10:01     Subject: S/o cheating with no guilt
Anonymous wrote:Because when you truly love and care about another person, just the fact that you were naked with someone else stirs up a lot of guilt.

If I truly love someone and that someone has always been good to me, the thought of hurting them would rack a lot of guilt on my end.

I am just very human and have tons of empathy. Not everyone else does and to each his own.

I can only speak for myself on this...


I'm currently having an affair. Yes it is super hot and we both have feeling for each other but the two of us are married. We are struggling with the guilt factor but the sex is so good and there is such a deep connection that it erases some of guilt. We would probably not continue this if we didn't feel the deep connection. I would have a hard time cheating with someone I did not care for as much as my AP. I've turned down multiple opportunities to cheat before. This is my first affair. Don't know when it will end or how it will impact our marriages in the long term but we both have agreed that leaving our spouses for each other is within the realm of possibility.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 09:55     Subject: S/o cheating with no guilt
Because when you truly love and care about another person, just the fact that you were naked with someone else stirs up a lot of guilt.

If I truly love someone and that someone has always been good to me, the thought of hurting them would rack a lot of guilt on my end.

I am just very human and have tons of empathy. Not everyone else does and to each his own.

I can only speak for myself on this...
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 08:51     Subject: S/o cheating with no guilt
Anonymous wrote:From a man's perspective, a woman having sex with another man is possibly making her pregnant, and forcing a man to spend his life supporting another man's seed. No penalty short of torture and death for the wife would satisfy any real man who found out his wife was stepping out.


Either the guy's a chump or he's an asshole that has to leave the other kids. Woman puts her man in a position of no-win.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 08:36     Subject: S/o cheating with no guilt
From a man's perspective, a woman having sex with another man is possibly making her pregnant, and forcing a man to spend his life supporting another man's seed. No penalty short of torture and death for the wife would satisfy any real man who found out his wife was stepping out.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 07:41     Subject: Re:S/o cheating with no guilt
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I also feel similar to OP. OP have you ever been in love? I feel as though I'm close to my DW but not in love. I've never loved anyone. Have only felt love when I was in an unhealthy relationship, such as an affair. What is my problem?


I think you're afraid of intimacy. You married someone you're not in love with so that if she left you you wouldn't get hurt. You fall in love with affair partners because it's safe to do so. The marriage(s) are a boundary against the relationship becoming more serious. I don't think you're a sociopath, I think you have walls up around your emotions, and a deep need to protect yourself from being vulnerable.


Thanks. This is helpful.