I'm so sorry OP. I dread the day I'll have to deal with the AP being my kid's potential step mom. And I know it's gonna happen. I have no advice. Just letting you know I'm thinking of you.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband cheated on you, OP. Your husband was the one who broke his wedding vows to you -- not this other woman. If you can co-parent with him then you can co-parent with her.

If a married person lies and says he or she is single/or hooks up with someone and omits being married-then maybe the above is true, but willfully seeking out an affair with a married family friend? If you hooked up with your friend's spouse, would you really tell yourself that your actions were morally neutral because you weren't the one breaking vows? Or that the wife shouldn't hate you because you only acted as a terrible friend and not a terrible spouse?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex left me and is married to the woman he left me for. I have a good co parenting relationship with him, and I don't deal with her at all. I have never met her, and don't intend to unless I absolutely have to. My kid is happy and never complains about her. From what I can tell she treats him very well. I've left it at that.

How do you do things like birthday parties and school performances? Does the OW just agree not to be included? I know the former OW in my life will absolutely push to be involved in everything-and the ex is easily influenced.

What happens when your child gets married or has children?

Given that DS is in elementary school, and I'm really hoping he won't be a teen father, I'll worry about that when the time comes. If I had to be in the same room with her, I'd be fine. I just choose not to if I don't have to, and it's worked out great for the last 7 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex left me and is married to the woman he left me for. I have a good co parenting relationship with him, and I don't deal with her at all. I have never met her, and don't intend to unless I absolutely have to. My kid is happy and never complains about her. From what I can tell she treats him very well. I've left it at that.

How do you do things like birthday parties and school performances? Does the OW just agree not to be included? I know the former OW in my life will absolutely push to be involved in everything-and the ex is easily influenced.

We do separate birthday parties. So far she has not shown up to any school performances, just my ex. Luckily she does not seem to be a pushy person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband cheated on you, OP. Your husband was the one who broke his wedding vows to you -- not this other woman. If you can co-parent with him then you can co-parent with her.

OP, even if there wasn't an OW, you don't have to coparent with any one but your children's father.

OP, you sound like a tremendous person and I wish I had advice. I'm probably opening a hornet's nest but the above advice doesn't seem to make sense to me. I mean, even if you only deal logistics with your ex, if the OW remains in your child's life then the reality is that you will be co-parenting even if you don't want to acknowledge it.