Anonymous
04/16/2015 11:58
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
21-- my son doesn't think in gray areas. If I let him drink sooner- he will imagine that the law is "stupid" or that his parents are unethical lawbreakers.
It's better to hold the line (arbitrary as it might be).
If we're in Europe and the drinking age is lower- we may allow a drink and explain that the laws are different and it's okay.
It's better to hold the line (arbitrary as it might be).
If we're in Europe and the drinking age is lower- we may allow a drink and explain that the laws are different and it's okay.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 17:41
Subject: Re:At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
21, obviously
Anonymous
04/15/2015 17:40
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!
Very easily. Because it is legal in Maryland where we live for me to allow such for my own children.
MD Crim Law Code § 10-114 (2013)
§10-114.
(a) Except as provided in subsection (b)(1) of this section, and subject to subsection (b)(2) of this section, an individual under the age of 21 years may not:
(1) possess or have under the individual’s charge or control an alcoholic beverage unless the individual is a bona fide employee of the license holder as defined in Article 2B, § 1-102 of the Code and the alcoholic beverage is in the possession or under the charge or control of the individual in the course of the individual’s employment and during regular working hours; or
(2) consume an alcoholic beverage.
(b) (1) The prohibitions set forth in subsection (a)(1) and (2) of this section do not apply if:
(i) 1. an adult furnishes the alcoholic beverage to the individual or allows the individual to possess or consume the alcoholic beverage;
2. the individual possessing or consuming the alcoholic beverage and the adult who furnished the alcoholic beverage to the individual or allowed the individual to possess or consume the alcoholic beverage are members of the same immediate family; and
3. the alcoholic beverage is furnished and consumed in a private residence of the adult or within the curtilage of the residence; or
(ii) the individual consumes the alcoholic beverage as a participant in a religious ceremony.
(2) An individual may not be stopped on suspicion of a violation of subsection (a)(2) of this section or charged with a violation of subsection (a)(2) of this section unless the individual is observed in possession of an alcoholic beverage.
Translation: I, the legal parent of my under 21 year old child, may permit said child to consume alcohol I have provided for her if said consumption is done in my home.
I couldn't find the actual law in the criminal code for Virginia, but as of 2010, it appears to be legal in Virginia as well. A parent/guardian may permit their child/ward under age 21 to drink in their home, AND may permit their child/ward to drink as a guest in someone else's home provided the parent/guardian is present. "Alcoholic beverage control; consumption by underaged persons accompanied by parent or guardian. (HB1293)"
There's no conflict with the law.
PP here. Thanks. Did not know something like this existed. I don't think my child would be missing out on anything by not drinking alcohol in the home though, so we'll just wait until the age of 21.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 17:07
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
My oldest is 21, and we certainly allow him, should he want to, drink in front of us.
But we also don't drink (DH or me), so it's not like we keep it around (as a note, until he turned 18 I didn't even realize the drinking age had increased to 21, tells you how much we drink). He respects that and doesn't drink at home. He has had a glass of wine on his birthday at a get together with neighbors, but that is the only time I've seen/heard him talk about drinking (we do know he does drink fairly regularly at college/with friends though).
But we also don't drink (DH or me), so it's not like we keep it around (as a note, until he turned 18 I didn't even realize the drinking age had increased to 21, tells you how much we drink). He respects that and doesn't drink at home. He has had a glass of wine on his birthday at a get together with neighbors, but that is the only time I've seen/heard him talk about drinking (we do know he does drink fairly regularly at college/with friends though).
Anonymous
04/15/2015 16:58
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!
Very easily. Because it is legal in Maryland where we live for me to allow such for my own children.
MD Crim Law Code § 10-114 (2013)
§10-114.
(a) Except as provided in subsection (b)(1) of this section, and subject to subsection (b)(2) of this section, an individual under the age of 21 years may not:
(1) possess or have under the individual’s charge or control an alcoholic beverage unless the individual is a bona fide employee of the license holder as defined in Article 2B, § 1-102 of the Code and the alcoholic beverage is in the possession or under the charge or control of the individual in the course of the individual’s employment and during regular working hours; or
(2) consume an alcoholic beverage.
(b) (1) The prohibitions set forth in subsection (a)(1) and (2) of this section do not apply if:
(i) 1. an adult furnishes the alcoholic beverage to the individual or allows the individual to possess or consume the alcoholic beverage;
2. the individual possessing or consuming the alcoholic beverage and the adult who furnished the alcoholic beverage to the individual or allowed the individual to possess or consume the alcoholic beverage are members of the same immediate family; and
3. the alcoholic beverage is furnished and consumed in a private residence of the adult or within the curtilage of the residence; or
(ii) the individual consumes the alcoholic beverage as a participant in a religious ceremony.
(2) An individual may not be stopped on suspicion of a violation of subsection (a)(2) of this section or charged with a violation of subsection (a)(2) of this section unless the individual is observed in possession of an alcoholic beverage.
Translation: I, the legal parent of my under 21 year old child, may permit said child to consume alcohol I have provided for her if said consumption is done in my home.
I couldn't find the actual law in the criminal code for Virginia, but as of 2010, it appears to be legal in Virginia as well. A parent/guardian may permit their child/ward under age 21 to drink in their home, AND may permit their child/ward to drink as a guest in someone else's home provided the parent/guardian is present. "Alcoholic beverage control; consumption by underaged persons accompanied by parent or guardian. (HB1293)"
There's no conflict with the law.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 14:32
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
21. They can certainly taste it every now and then, but I will not be permissive.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 13:14
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Never
Anonymous
04/15/2015 13:11
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!
Again- we're not quite there yet, our oldest is 17, a HS junior. But when he goes off to college, he'll be 18 and most likely will be drinking. Maybe you're not familiar with college campuses but underage drinking is very common and generally accepted. So when he comes home and we have a social event with beer, we probably will allow him to have a beer or two. Hanging out for the weekend and binge drinking- not okay with that.
Also, I'm the PP Wisconsin poster. Taverns here can legally serve alcohol to underage kids with their parents present and consenting. It wasn't long ago the legal drinking age in Wisconsin was 18. Which honestly makes sense since you're an adult at 18 (not that I'm advocating for lowering the age).
I guess I'd ask you this- when your kid moves out of the home at 18 (college or working) and you find out they drink- what will you do about it? Again- they're an adult living outside your home...
I'm the PP. If my child is living in the US, and the law for drinking is still 21, I expect her to follow the law. I don't really understand how colleges get away with having students drink on campus (almost everyone is underage) at these parties that they authorize. If she is around me, she will not be breaking the law. I've tried to teach her that even if no one is around to see you, we still do the right thing. Once she is out of the house, I can't control what she does, she will have to make those choices for herself, but I would hope that she continues to obey the law.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 12:02
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
I'd allow wine at holiday dinners at around 16. 21 for hard alcohol.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 11:58
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!
We have a young child so its a non-issue now. But, growing up, for Jewish holidays it was normal for kids to sip off parents, so it wasn't a big deal. I didn't drink in high school but my parents were the if you do, tell us and moderation and absolutely no driving. The bigger deal you make of it, the more kids will want to experiment.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 11:58
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!
My kids are young, but in the States, I would not want them to drink until they are 21. I think the 21 years of age is ridiculous, but it is the law and I'll teach my kids to follow the law of the country they are at. Also, I would be terrified of the legal consequences should my kids share the information.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 11:57
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have wine with dinner about 3x/week. The kids either have apple or grape juice to match our wine. They've asked if they could have a sip of our juice. We give it to them. They say yuck and go back to their drinks.
DH has 2 older kids. He's been allowing them to sip off of his drinks since they were kids. Mostly they said yuck and went back to a regular drink. The oldest starting asking for his own drink after freshman year in college.
I think the trick is to not make it a taboo thing.
This. We don't drink much at home or out but this is how my parents did it. I agree the trick is not to make it taboo. We used to sip off our parents, said yuck and that was it. It was never a big deal to me, which is probably why I don't drink much now.
Anonymous
04/15/2015 11:56
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!
Again- we're not quite there yet, our oldest is 17, a HS junior. But when he goes off to college, he'll be 18 and most likely will be drinking. Maybe you're not familiar with college campuses but underage drinking is very common and generally accepted. So when he comes home and we have a social event with beer, we probably will allow him to have a beer or two. Hanging out for the weekend and binge drinking- not okay with that.
Also, I'm the PP Wisconsin poster. Taverns here can legally serve alcohol to underage kids with their parents present and consenting. It wasn't long ago the legal drinking age in Wisconsin was 18. Which honestly makes sense since you're an adult at 18 (not that I'm advocating for lowering the age).
I guess I'd ask you this- when your kid moves out of the home at 18 (college or working) and you find out they drink- what will you do about it? Again- they're an adult living outside your home...
Anonymous
04/15/2015 11:50
Subject: Re:At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
My children are young, but I'm thinking we'll probably stick to the law of the country we are in. If we are home in the USA, our children can drink with us when they are 21. When we travel to Europe or S. American to visit family we'll wait until they are 18 (which is the law), but probably will let them at 16 have an occasional glass of wine with soda water or a glass of cider with dinner (what most kids are allowed to do at home once in a while.) So basically, I'm thinking our policy will be when in Rome...
Anonymous
04/15/2015 11:43
Subject: At what age would/do you allow your DC to drink in your home?
Anonymous wrote:Isn't the law 21? I don't understand how you allow your child to break the law. So then you are in a situation where some laws are OK to break and others are not? How do kids learn right from wrong. Very confusing to me.
Those of you that allow it before 21, can you please explain how you justify it? I'm the type of parent/person that does my best to obey the laws and rules (yes, even the speed limit!) and while it does drive my child crazy sometimes, this is how I want to model being a law-abiding citizen to her. Do you allow your child to disobey you if they don't agree with a house rule? How should children figure out which laws are ok to break and which ones are not? This thread has my mind all types of messed up!!