Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, to be fair, you said you weren't hurting for money in your original post. Now that greed has got the better of you, you say you're scraping by on your meager six-figure salary. Okay. I'm sure the savings will be worth it. Enjoy that dog hair and drool, being cooped up in your bedroom with your baby, and cooking at 11PM when your MIL's not in her kitchen, and do realize your in-laws and husband will definitely be assuming that you'll one day be living all together on a permanent basis.

We are not scraping by now because we have yet to move to Palo Alto. The housing market in the SF area is so ridiculously expensive that I almost think some of these apartment and home prices are a joke. Our money is definitely not going to go as far there. I am not sure why you feel the need to be a jerk, but enjoy your day anyway.

Considering that this is a DC-area forum, we do grasp the implications of high cost-of-living areas. Many of us live on much less than you, and have lived in other more expensive parts of the world, too. I'm sorry if I came across as a jerk, but I was reiterating the things you were legitimately concerned about in living with your in-laws. I've survived dealing with a husband and in-laws who were determined to move in together, and earlier in the thread I and others gave you kind and sensible advice. You do sound like a particular and difficult person to live with, as others have pointed out. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you're aware you're this way. You're going to spend all your time at your in-laws being angry and annoyed about everything, and it will negatively affect everyone in a permanent way.

OP, I am in a similar boat as you. We just sold DHs house and haven't found one that we like yet so we will be moving in with his parents. I am very hesitant about this and we are not facing as many apprehensions as you. MIL doesn't clean well and can be quite bossy. We also dont know how long it will take for us to close on a new place. It could be 1 or 6 months. Who knows.

That being sad, the dog and smoker would be a deal breaker for me because you can't control those things. So you will either have to deal with it or not. I personally would not with an infant.

Since your in laws live in the suburbs it sounds like you could deal with living out of the city limits for some time. Why not store your stuff at their house and rent a small apartment? You should probably still save 1-2k/month doing that.

Anonymous wrote:Do everyone a favor and don't move in with them. I'll be honest OP, you sound difficult/high maintenance. Which is your prerogative, and it's fine. But it does not bode well for a co-living situation.

+1 this sounds like you are about to burn a very serious bridge

The fact that we have done vacations with the in laws is the only way DH realizes how annoying they are on vacations.

Living with them for 4 months may actually be good for you because your Dh may realize that he doesn't actually want to live with his parents afterall

Anonymous wrote:OP, to be fair, you said you weren't hurting for money in your original post. Now that greed has got the better of you, you say you're scraping by on your meager six-figure salary. Okay. I'm sure the savings will be worth it. Enjoy that dog hair and drool, being cooped up in your bedroom with your baby, and cooking at 11PM when your MIL's not in her kitchen, and do realize your in-laws and husband will definitely be assuming that you'll one day be living all together on a permanent basis.

We are not scraping by now because we have yet to move to Palo Alto. The housing market in the SF area is so ridiculously expensive that I almost think some of these apartment and home prices are a joke. Our money is definitely not going to go as far there. I am not sure why you feel the need to be a jerk, but enjoy your day anyway.

OP, to be fair, you said you weren't hurting for money in your original post. Now that greed has got the better of you, you say you're scraping by on your meager six-figure salary. Okay. I'm sure the savings will be worth it. Enjoy that dog hair and drool, being cooped up in your bedroom with your baby, and cooking at 11PM when your MIL's not in her kitchen, and do realize your in-laws and husband will definitely be assuming that you'll one day be living all together on a permanent basis.

Anonymous wrote:Op, you could have saved us all a lot of typing if you had said it was the Bay Area in your first post. That is literally the only part of the country where this makes a bit of sense at all.

I did not want to give away more information that I had to, but I realized from the responses that people do not understand that there are areas of the country where even two people making six figures are barely getting by, lol.

Op, you could have saved us all a lot of typing if you had said it was the Bay Area in your first post. That is literally the only part of the country where this makes a bit of sense at all.

OP here. I will be in Palo Alto, so no $2000 luxury buildings near where I work. Living with our in laws will allow us to amass more in savings to be able to afford the astronomical costs of the San Francisco area housing market. I am not just doing it for the heck of it. The choice is living to the edge of our means each month, without being able to put anything in savings and often having to dip into savings, or living with the in laws and saving $20k because we do not have to pay rent and are splitting cable/utilities/housing expenses. Could we live by ourselves? Sure. We have some savings now and probably have enough to tide us over until I start my new job. When I start my new job later this year, I will be able to contribute significantly to the family and we will be able to live comfortably without having to zero at the end of the month.

If I was considering only myself, I would never in 1 million years living in laws. I am a mother and a wife, however, and I have to think of what is best for the unit. So, I am going to swallow some insults and tolerate some annoyance to make sure that we are not clearing our savings in the next few months. I believe that every family should have at least 6 months in savings to the degree possible.

I spend 7 days in my ILs house after a number of years with my kids during Easter break.

I was out and about most of the day and only met them in the morning and dinner time. I was reminded of all the reasons I never want to live with them ever again.

Since it was for a short duration only, we were friendly and amicable, but, if it was a permanent arrangement - I would shoot myself.

I believe that you need distance from ILs to maintain healthy boundaries and sanity. Even is they are great people.

I skimmed your post. You can't put a price on having a good relationship with your in-laws. Don't live with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided to give living with my in laws a try. 20k in tax-free money is a lot and in return, maybe I can navigate some differences with my in laws with tolerance and patience, which will help me grow. Please wish me luck. I hope I will not need it, but here goes....

You already have some "differences" to navigate and you're still doing this? Hoo boy

Seriously. I feel like the OP is the kind of person that purposely seeks conflict and then creates drama. Your 20K argument doesn't make sense, when you can just rent a reasonable place for 4 months.

Do everyone a favor and don't move in with them. I'll be honest OP, you sound difficult/high maintenance. Which is your prerogative, and it's fine. But it does not bode well for a co-living situation.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have decided to give living with my in laws a try. 20k in tax-free money is a lot and in return, maybe I can navigate some differences with my in laws with tolerance and patience, which will help me grow. Please wish me luck. I hope I will not need it, but here goes....

You already have some "differences" to navigate and you're still doing this? Hoo boy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surely you could find a 5-month rental for less than $20k? If it's just you, dh and a baby, you wouldn't need a big place.

I think you're risking permanent damage to your relationship with your IL's by moving in with them. I honestly don't think you'll save as much money as you're expecting too, and if the idea of spending a few months in a place you didn't decorate yourself seems that problematic, I really doubt this will go well, never kind all the other concerns.

I'd get a 1 bedroom luxury apartment. They usually just add a couple hundred to the rent. Spend $2000 and save half the amount and your sanity

This is what I would do. I would find a cheap one bedroom and deal with that for a few months. Baby can sleep in your room or in a crib in the living room. I couldn't handle living with that many other people.