Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMFG are your cheap???
Make your own basket.
She deserves credit for what she bought. You want to tak that from her? Disgusting.

Please don't be rude. I did make my own basket! It's ready to go. It's plenty for my children to get on Easter, a holiday not traditionally associated with piles and piles of gifts.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is a chronic over gifter. Gift giving is her love language, and I am really trying to accept her gifts with a spirit of appreciation rather than irritation. She sends boxes of wrapped gifts for every holiday and birthday. We just got our Easter box and it includes about 6 wrapped gifts for each of my 3 children. Each gift is small, like a craft kit from the dollar aisle at target or cheap sunglasses. I just don't see opening a pile of wrapped gifts from grandparents as something I want to include in our Easter tradition. We will be having baskets from the bunny and a little hunt but I don't want the kids to come to expect lots of gifts to open at Easter. They are 4,2 and 9months so they dont know the difference btw a pile of gifts that costs $10 and a pile that costs $100. I always go through her boxes and take out things to put away for later, like for airplane rides or rainy days. Is it rude to ask my MiL if she would mind if I put the rest of the stuff in the baskets and say it's from the bunny? I was thinking I could give them one thing from her so they know she was thinking of them, then divide the rest btw baskets and closet for later. Do you think she would be offended? I feel like it's a good compromise but I realize it means the kids won't know she picked all the stuff out for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

What on earth do you think you'd be teaching your kids? Won't you want to relay the message that you gratefully accept a gift? That you don't purposefully hurt someone's feelings? That faily is important? That you respect your elders? So what if she didn't really want your input on getting additional gifts to the smaller ones. So what if you want to say, "don't buy more gifts." Just zip your lip and be grateful your kids are loved and remembered.

If she just sent the gifts, I would certainly zip my lips and just act grateful, have the kids call right away to say thank you, send a note, etc. But she keeps asking for my input on the gifts. When should she send them? When will we be opening them? What should she send? Has the box arrived? Oh! just checked the tracking! The package will be here this afternoon! Should we plan to open them before vacation or after vacation? It drives me crazy. Maybe that's my problem. Not this gifts but the hundreds of questions/emails about the gifts that I am expected to answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

What on earth do you think you'd be teaching your kids? Won't you want to relay the message that you gratefully accept a gift? That you don't purposefully hurt someone's feelings? That faily is important? That you respect your elders? So what if she didn't really want your input on getting additional gifts to the smaller ones. So what if you want to say, "don't buy more gifts." Just zip your lip and be grateful your kids are loved and remembered.

Anonymous wrote:

I would have a conversation with her and ask if she wants to make the Easter baskets next year. (Not in a rude way but very sincere) My guess is that she would be super excited and would send great baskets. Then your problem is solved. Only 1 basket, no gifts. I understand that you might want to do nice things for your children, but it would give her way more joy than it gives you. You also get the pleasure of actually seeing them dye eggs, find them, etc. If she wants to buy things, let her have some fun.

My mom is you MIL. I send her my kids Christmas list as ever year. I don't buy a thing. She wraps the gifts, and even puts from mom/dad on a few. LOL Doesn't bother me one bit. I send her sizes for every season and she mails us clothes. When I see something in particular I want for my girls, I send her the link and she buys it. When we get it, I say look what grandma got you! It works for us. Good Luck.


Also forgot to say that I once asked my mom about not buying and instead saving for their college fund etc. She replied " I do the shopping so that you can save. That's your job"

Good point by mom!
Remember, grandma won't be around forever. Let her spoil her grandkids a little. It will be a nice memory for the kids when they are older.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Pp has it right. Let the kids open the gifts and give grandma credit. Agree with bonding and memories of grandparents. In a week kids will have forgotten about cheap toys and you can toss then.

It's really not that hard to think of others than yourself.

Anonymous wrote:Hello again! It's me, the OP who was overthinking the Easter thing. I'm back and now overthinking birthday gifts.

MIL has told me that she already sent a box of "small gifts" for us to take on our upcoming vacation or to open before we leave for 2 of my kids who are celebrating their birthdays while we're on vacation. She's wondering what to do with "the rest of the gifts". She says we can open them as soon as we get home or else when they come visit us later in the summer (about 4-6 weeks after the kids' bdays), but either way she'll send them in the mail (so not really sure what she's asking if she's already planning on sending them). What I want to say is "don't buy more gifts. Whatever the "smaller gifts" are will be more than enough." In need of the perspective many of you provided before Easter. Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:You are married with children now and MIL sending wrapped gifts for Easter is now your Easter tradition.
What is the big deal in having your kids unwrap presents versus plucking them out of a basket?
OP, check yourself. I can't imagine explaining with a straight face that unwrapping gifts is not the Easter you are envisioning.