Anonymous
04/04/2015 20:29
Subject: do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My parents put my son to bed too late, don't feed him as healthfully as I do. They let him watch too much TV and play too many video games. On top of that my father tells inappropriate things like it is OK to fart and burp. Drives me nuts.
That said I know he will be SAFE and LOVED and generally well taken care of when he is with them. They are not daily care givers so I have learned to accept that my son having a close relationship with my parents comes with a few drawbacks.
I am a single parent and about once a year I need to travel for work. My mother is the only one I would allow to stay with DS for while I am gone. She able to do school drop off/pick up and take care of DS and all the household chores while I am gone. I of course do as much as I can before I go.
um, what? your kids are not allowed to fart and burp?
Not at the table. My dad tells him he can do it anywhere he likes. It has gotten to the point where he thinks it is funny. Yes everyone farts and burps, but not everyone does it proudly in public or while we are eating.
Anonymous
04/04/2015 20:27
Subject: do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?
Anonymous wrote:My parents and my FIL, absolutely. I am SO SO SO grateful that my parents gave us a night away the first year of my kiddo's life. They live across the country, so it's rare that they get the chance, but we utilized it every chance we got!
My MIL? No chance. She has belittled me when I attempt to convey my desires for DS's health and safety from the day we told her we were expecting.
MIL: "When are you getting a quilt and bumpers for the crib?"
Me: "I'm not, the recommendation is nothing in the crib for an infant"
MIL: "Now that's just silly, I will make you bumpers and a quilt, and he will love them."
MIL: "You need to turn the car seat around, he's 6 months old and looks miserable."
Me: "Recommendations are to rear face as long as possible.
MIL: "That's just cruel. No grandchild of mine will be that uncomfortable in my car."
MIL: HIIIIIIIIIII MY BABY!!!! I BROUGHT YOU CANDY FROM YOUR FAVORITE GRANDMA!!!!
Me: Um, he's a year old. I'd rather you didn't feed him that. We're really struggling to get him to eat real food lately.
MIL: Don't tell me what I can't do. It's grandma's job to spoil her baby.
Ughhh just the tip of the iceberg. What it boils down to is we can't trust her to respect our wishes, no matter how big or small. She so badly wants to be left alone with him, but neither DH nor I are comfortable with it. Maybe when DS is 6 or 7 and sturdier. Right now he's terrified of her because she's so overbearing and tries to pin him down and smother him with kisses while he screams because he doesn't know who she is.
I get the not following your wishes thing...but how does he "not know who she is?"
My MIL doesn't have appropriate respect for safety standards and our wishes, so she doesn't get alone time, but she an be herewith our kid when we are are around as much as she wants. The kid still loves and adores her...just in OUR comfort zone.
Don't cut off anyone who loves your kid unless there is actual abuse. You are describing things you can control.
Anonymous
04/03/2015 06:07
Subject: do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?
100% yes. Other than my sister, its the only time I can leave DD with someone else and know she's with someone who loves her as much as I do.
Anonymous
04/02/2015 23:43
Subject: Re:do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?
Completely trust? Not an ounce with my MIL. I trust my parents somewhat but one of my kids has food allergies and my parents, because they don't live with these things in their lives daily, often forget to check labels and ingredients for his allergens.
Anonymous
04/02/2015 16:49
Subject: do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?
My parents and my FIL, absolutely. I am SO SO SO grateful that my parents gave us a night away the first year of my kiddo's life. They live across the country, so it's rare that they get the chance, but we utilized it every chance we got!
My MIL? No chance. She has belittled me when I attempt to convey my desires for DS's health and safety from the day we told her we were expecting.
MIL: "When are you getting a quilt and bumpers for the crib?"
Me: "I'm not, the recommendation is nothing in the crib for an infant"
MIL: "Now that's just silly, I will make you bumpers and a quilt, and he will love them."
MIL: "You need to turn the car seat around, he's 6 months old and looks miserable."
Me: "Recommendations are to rear face as long as possible.
MIL: "That's just cruel. No grandchild of mine will be that uncomfortable in my car."
MIL: HIIIIIIIIIII MY BABY!!!! I BROUGHT YOU CANDY FROM YOUR FAVORITE GRANDMA!!!!
Me: Um, he's a year old. I'd rather you didn't feed him that. We're really struggling to get him to eat real food lately.
MIL: Don't tell me what I can't do. It's grandma's job to spoil her baby.
Ughhh just the tip of the iceberg. What it boils down to is we can't trust her to respect our wishes, no matter how big or small. She so badly wants to be left alone with him, but neither DH nor I are comfortable with it. Maybe when DS is 6 or 7 and sturdier. Right now he's terrified of her because she's so overbearing and tries to pin him down and smother him with kisses while he screams because he doesn't know who she is.
My MIL? No chance. She has belittled me when I attempt to convey my desires for DS's health and safety from the day we told her we were expecting.
MIL: "When are you getting a quilt and bumpers for the crib?"
Me: "I'm not, the recommendation is nothing in the crib for an infant"
MIL: "Now that's just silly, I will make you bumpers and a quilt, and he will love them."
MIL: "You need to turn the car seat around, he's 6 months old and looks miserable."
Me: "Recommendations are to rear face as long as possible.
MIL: "That's just cruel. No grandchild of mine will be that uncomfortable in my car."
MIL: HIIIIIIIIIII MY BABY!!!! I BROUGHT YOU CANDY FROM YOUR FAVORITE GRANDMA!!!!
Me: Um, he's a year old. I'd rather you didn't feed him that. We're really struggling to get him to eat real food lately.
MIL: Don't tell me what I can't do. It's grandma's job to spoil her baby.
Ughhh just the tip of the iceberg. What it boils down to is we can't trust her to respect our wishes, no matter how big or small. She so badly wants to be left alone with him, but neither DH nor I are comfortable with it. Maybe when DS is 6 or 7 and sturdier. Right now he's terrified of her because she's so overbearing and tries to pin him down and smother him with kisses while he screams because he doesn't know who she is.
Anonymous
04/02/2015 16:32
Subject: do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?
My mom and MIL yes. FIL no way. Even when I'm in the room and he is holding DS I am nervous. He believes that children are supposed to get banged up in order to get stronger. I dont think I'll leave him alone with DS until he's 13 or so. FIL is just too reckless.